My post on married men and prostitutes has brought in a significant amount of traffic and feedback. One of the more interesting things that came from the post is hearing stories from women who have caught their husbands cheating on them with prostitutes. So I thought I would write a quick post with tips to see if your husband is seeing a prostitute.
To best catch your husband, it will help to understand how prostitutes work. First off, there are different types of prostitutes. There are your street walkers, your escort agency hookers, the brothel prostitute, and your high-end escorts/companions.
Let’s start with the street walkers. A typical street walker is going to charge between $20 – $100 (typically $30 – $40), and usually perform the act while in a car. Since even scumbag husbands have some level of self-preservation, there is likely to be condoms involved. And that is your first clue. Condom wrappers in the car is an obvious sign that something is up. Also, odd charges on a bank card at a drug store of gas station could be condoms. If you see a charge for gas, and then a separate charge for inside the gas station, you may want to check if they carry condoms, and how much they cost, so that you can compare that to the purchase. Then ask your husband what he bought. If what he says doesn’t match the charge, and the price of a pack of Trojans does, he’s busted.
Moving on to escort agencies, these places take credit cards. Look for any charges for things like “Airport Services”, “Mobile Assistants”, “Hotel Services” or “Massage Service” . And if in doubt, call your credit card company and ask them what type of company made these charges. Believe it or not, the credit card company will sometimes be able to tell if the company is an escort agency.
Also keep in mind the typical charge for an escort agency via credit card is about $300 – $700. If you see a suspicious charge from the same company twice in the same day, that could be an escort agency. Escort agencies charge for having the girl show up to the room. Once there, it’s up to the girl and the client what happens and the cost. They will sometimes hit the card when the girl gets there, and then hit is again for the girls “tip”.
Phone records are also a good indication. If your husband has half a brain, he’s not going to call the agency from his mobile phone, knowing you could see the call. So check with the hotel if any local calls were made from the room.
Brothels are highly unusual, and not likely unless your husband has gone to Nevada, or out of the country. Still, know these places take credit cards as well, and are not as stealthy as the escort agency at hiding the charges. Look for charges of about $500 – $1000.
The independent escort is the more common approach these days. Most advertise on the Web, allowing men to check out the goods through pictures first. These escorts do not usually take credit cards, although some do use Paypal. Usually these are cash transactions. There is a common thought that anyone taking out hundreds of dollars from an ATM after midnight is up to no good. Keep in mind that these girls typically charge around $300, because that’s what men can take out of an ATM at any time. So look for late night withdrawals.
And because these girls are often contacted through the Web, you can often find good evidence through your husbands computer. Check his browser history, and his cache. Search the machine for pictures. Sites like eros-guide.com, or Craigslist.org are the most often paces where guys go shopping for hookers. If your husband is traveling to a different state, check out the local Craigslist for that state on his computer. You should be able to tell if he has clicked the links for the “erotic services” section.
Keep in mind that when confronted, he will of course lie. And when shown 100% proof, he will claim that it was his first and only time. This will be a lie.
She spent a grand total of $600 to get her defense case started before we dropped it because we ofcourse had no reason to sue her now so because she shelled out $600 she had the nerve to take me to small claims court and get it back. She won. I was shocked. The judge was female. She lectured her about the danger of that job abd to stop,she also had all the emails with her and said there was no reason she should be sued when she had asked him before hand. The judge agreed with her and I had to give her $600. She apparently is done doing it. I googled her real name and she is on all sorts ofactivities and a deans list at a university. Why the fuck do women do this? I can see uneducated crack whores but what about academicly smart ones and with some life going on? No common sense.
Thanks for sharing that with us. At the risk of getting everyone pissed at me, I have to side with the hooker on this one. Why should she be out any legal fees when the husband was lying? I assume that since you worked it out with the husband, he helped pay the fees? I would say he’s lucky she didn’t sue for other damages since he directly lied to her. However lose the arrangement, it was an agreement between two people that involved money.
How long ago was this?
At the risk of being hated even more than Ed I agree with Ed and as a wife who was cheated on with hookers I even agree with the hookers course of action. Alienation of affection against a prostitute? Give me a break! I can see the mistress who comes and literaly steals him out of your house,home,away from your kids and starts a life with him but a hooker? She didn’t ruin anyones home ,my husbands wandering weiner did and so did yours
In a buisness were those women are usually victims anyways I'm glad she had the courage to take a stand against a bully wife misdirecting her frustration.
Sued by the whore I feel your pain but prostitutes are not even close to home wreckers and should in no way even be considerded for an alienation of affection law suit if thats the case you'd have to track down about 30 your husband slept with for onenight because there's no "exclusive" one. A mistresss comes in and ruins the home by having an emotional affair with your husband ,getting him to leave and leaving you and the kids like this trudy said she actually starts a new life with him. Thats grounds for alienation of affection. I can't believe I'd say this but if I was her I would have gotten my money back also . He frikkin lied and despite her having some scruppples and boundardried on her job she asked him several times and he lied! HE AND ONLY HE is to blame!!
Those are great suggestions. Here's how you counter that:
1. Never see streetwalkers. That's asking for trouble in so many ways. Escorts are generally more discreet.
2. Use cash only. When you buy groceries, use ATM, and withdrawal small amounts of cash and save it over time.
3. Use pre-paid mobile phone (paid with cash, fake name, fake address). Always password lock it. If the phone is discovered, say you found it, throw it away in front of her. Go get new one at Target. Phone should be kept secured at office.
4. Use web browser option to clean internet cache, history, passwords every time you log off.
Those are all very clever ways to hide behavior but someday and somehow everyone gets caught. If by some chance they don't get caught most men will often feel so much guilt inside that they are actually hurting themselves in the end. Everyone slips sometimes! Most cheaters act on impulse and that leaves very little time for slow "cash backs" while shopping. Also they have so many ways to catch a cheating spouse.
1. Computer spy software "Viper"
2. Voice recorders that record voice for 20 hours and even write
3. Private investigators
4. Hidden cameras
If those don't get cheaters caught, their slip-ups will. There is always a lie or mistake made that gets cheaters caught. Plus if someone cheats and they aren't caught by their spouse for cheating the relationship is doomed anyways because your spouse will feel the lack of attention and sexual affection and wake up eventually!
Espitzer your suggestions are typical of someone whose has experience in being deceitful but the person who replied to your comment is dead on! My husband has tried to cover his tracks using yours and other ways but intuition is your strongest tool and the cheater will get caught! They always do!!!!
Great advice Espitzer and always find a whore way hotter than your fat ass wife!
Interesting dialoge. I googled alienation of affection and this post came up. I'm a 54 year old woman who also lives in North Carolina. I sued my husbands mistress after 30 years of marriage she left hundreds of nasty phone messages emails and foung my two daughters on facebook and terrorozed them saying horrible stuff like "You're daddy loves me more than your mommy" This is the kind of human trash you sue for alienation of affection. Yes he made the choice and left with her in the end and she ended up leaving him. For a year she weraked havoc on outr family. I got a testarining order on her and sued her ass for $400,000. These are the kind of females you go after and they aren't any better than a hooker,as a matter of fact the husband pursues the prostitute relentlessly and she has NO emotinal attachment and is a transation. I wouldn't even think of sueing a prostitute for this,as a matter of fact I have more compassion for these women. These womens lives couldn't be any worse! I would have rather have had my husband bang a prostitiute one or twice than be with a "mistress" those women are the "REAL" homewreckers!
from now on i am going to charge my cheating partner $300 – $500 for sex, $200 / wk to clean the house, $250 to cook meals, $100 administration costs. From now on this is a business transaction, just how he likes it. I am going to bleed this ar$@hole dry… and save my money to leave him
LOL Sounds like a good idea for all of us to start doint that
I feel so bad reading all of the posts and I am ready to get some advice on some of the issues I am having. I have been with my fiance for three years. I moved from Texas to be with him in Chicago. I recently found out that he has been seeing TRANSEXUAL hookers that use the website eros. This was a huge shock to me and yes, I am still with him. Because of the nature of my discovery I am so upset and confused. I am faced with the issues of trust, infidelity, and homosexuality. I have found a way to check his phone records and I have actually convinced some of these male transexual hookers to help me out. They have even given me info to find their profiles so I can see "what my man is attracted to besides me." This has become such a crazy experience and I am unsure what to do. I have also found web history that includes tranny porn. He tells me he has a strange fetish but would never be attracted to a man. The thing is sex with a tranny is gay sex and that is that. To all of you women out there, I have discovered that there is a way for men to hide their cell history by rerouting their incoming and outgoing calls by using a random number. When I called these numbers back they ring and then disconnect. There are so many ways out there for me to hide their secrets very well. Should I ever trust my man again? Your thoughts are greatly appreciated!
don't trust him, my asshole boyfriend of 4 years was seeking out tannies aswel, yet he said he wasn't gay and yeah he may not be. The only conlusion i found once i got into his underworld and checked out his porn, i realised he liked sodomy. I asked him time and time again your into anal more than norman and he would always say no..no not more than the real deal…sorry to be graphic, but i figured men who like trannies like them cus lets face it some are gorgeous, but where is he gonna stick his member….there you go. For a female escort to do this she would charge extra's ontop of his already high fee so seeing a decent looking tranny will cost him less. LEAVE AND LEAVE NOW…!!!! Your only engaged don't make it a divorce with kids.. I also found it hard after 4 years but the lies will only get worse. I have been through this and boy am i glad i got out…after the shock of discovering his slutty ways i think the love ripped right out of me…i only tried to keep loving him but i was also disillusioned.. You will never trust him again and this behaviour will only get worse because your letting him… I repeat LEAVE NOW…!!
I am a man who feels horrible about what prostitution has done to the lives of many. The internet has opened up prostitution to the masses like nothing we have seen before. A man can now browse through hundreds if not thousands of solicitations from hookers right from the comfort of his home or office. He can also read reviews from other people who have visited specific whores to see what types of services she will provide for his donation. Within an hour or less he can be cheating on you with the hooker of his choice. It's so incredibly easy and empowering it's scary, and ultimately extremely addictive. Prostitution is spiraling out of control and more women than ever are now availing themselves as sex workers on sites like craigslist and backpage because even an uneducated high high school drop out can now make $1000+/day and pay no taxes on their earnings. Even doctors cannot make that kind of income.
This is not about hookers wanting to take your husband from you, this is about women making a lot of fast money. For men it's about the ability to feed their need for instant sexual gratification with different women. Twenty years ago, men would simply fantasize about a women in their mind and it would typically end there. If a man was feeling really brave he could drive to a shady part of town and pick up a street walker. But the risks involved in that were usually high enough that it kept most men at bay. Now with a few click of a mouse, a cell phone, and ATM card they can act out their sexual fantasies on demand.
I don't know where all this is headed, but any whore will tell you that she can easily see an average of five to ten married men everyday. Multiply that by the amount of whores advertising on internet sites (1000+ everyday per major city) and that's about 100,000 cheating men on average everyday. Probably closer to the millions every week. It's a huge problem that everyone is ignoring. All this is happening right under the noses of many many women who have no clue.
This is chilling to consider. I hope and pray that the pendulum will swing. At this rate… I don't want to even think of where we're going as a human culture.
I read all these posts and find them all sad,and interesting. I worked as an a escort for 12 years and now help women get out of that buisness. I started out stripping as a dancer at a club in Vegas and went to escorting. I've been out of that industry for 10 years.
I can tell you to some of these women escorts DO NOT fall in love with their customers NOR are they trying to steal husbands away,like the poster above says it's ALL about the money.
You are very right in that the prostitutes are not "husband stealers". Of course they are selling something to a buyer. Problem is that this "something" for money is assisting a sick man into believing he's "just" a customer, not a cruel cheater. That something is another women- not a "thing".
I think most women realize that it is indeed "all about the money." However, in some ways that is the problem. It's somewhat like the primal anger a person can feel toward the drug dealer who sells to a loved one "just" something… something which destroys that loved one more and more.
The anger is not logical, or necessarily productive (unless it's used to better the lives of the "sellers" & getting them away from selling, as you are). But it's a normal anger. It's natural.
"How dare you make my MY LIFE, MY FAMILY, MY LOVED ONE, a casualty of your business deals! My LIFE is bigger than money! " is the thought process. Of course, the ultimate reality is that a true addict (like a true cheater), will find another dealer.
The sale of sex, the sale of hard drugs… they both paint a tragic landscape behind the money and seeming ease. A landscape littered with victims.
I think it's important to remember that of all the victims in the dynamic, the betrayed wife/partner is the only one who can truly come out the hero. Wiser for it all. Integrity intact.
Yes and THE HUSBAND made the Choice and seeked out the seller to buy something right? To blame the seller is absolutely insane. The husband is an ADULT and is seeking something out and making the choice!
"How dare you make my MY LIFE, MY FAMILY, MY LOVED ONE, a casualty of your business" The hooker didn't make your life anything THE HUSBAND MADE THE WIFES LIFE,FAMILY AND WHATEVER ELSE a casualty. In one breath your saying it isn't the fault of the worker and in the next your pretty much saying the jezabell made her poor innocent loved one a "casualty" Nobody forced the cheating pig to make any phone calls and to call him a casualty is making him a victim…GIVE ME A BREAK!!!
if men kept their pricks in their pants that would be the solution.For hundreds of years women have wanted to be angrier at the woman because it's safer and gives them the opportunity to make it easier to stay with them. Women will continue to act like this. I call it the jerry springer mentality
"the jerry springer mentality "
I've been known to refer to it this way too! Ha!
Men who cheat just love this mentality. They use it. Not just with prostitutes but with all women.
The idea of women getting together and talking, even wishing to protect one another, terrifies men who have something to hide. It works for cheating/lying men to alienate women from one another.
Think about it:
-The man seeks out another woman
-He tells other woman that his wife/partner is crazy/ cold/ bitchy/ unstable, etc…
-He might make other woman fearful of wife.
-Wife finds out about other woman, husband lies, often accuses other woman of being crazy/ stalker, etc.
– Wife tries to contact her to find out the truth
-If cheating husband has done his prep work, other woman does not want to talk to crazy wife.
At that, I give BIG kudos to all 'other women', escort or no, who have not fallen for this trickily imposed code of silence, and let the truth fly. Particularly if it might have meant loosing a source of money, or a hope for love.
OMG Lajath you're so right on. What women don't realize is if they acutally spported eachother and took resposibilty for their part by NOT "having the affair OR turning the trick and trying to do something else that this would destry their chances of getting away with this. I jst wish women didn't have the Jerry Springer mentality with eachother,now I'm NOT refering to the young girls sold into traffiicing and selling their bodies from pimps but theres many out there who claim they enjoy it,like those women on HBO cat house.To me this is disturbing
@Luiw:
I think you missed the intent of my post.
I purposefully pointed out that everyone involved in the scenario is a victim. Even the John (albeit in less obvious ways), because I believe men loose more than they realize in these situations. But then I'm a believer in eventual Karma ;-). That said, of course, a man who buys women for sex is flaccid in every aspect of his character. Simple as that. More pitiful than evil.
I WAS trying to point out the quite natural thought process of a betrayed partner with what I placed in quotations. The post I was responding to stated that its all about money. To the betrayed partner though, "it's not about the money"… and really, to suggest it is just business degrades the profound grief, and human loss she is going though.
Of course a cheating husband is not the prostitutes fault. Yes, sex-as-business is inherently wrong IMO (sex is too great, too awesome a thing to make a professional trade of), but the man is the one making the choice to put his wife/ family at risk.
steal husbands away? REALITY IS TEAR FAMILIES APART! QUIT JUSTIFYING PROSTITUTION
Never once in my line of work did I contact a guy and hold a gun to his head to make him see me. I was always contaced by them!! Escorts don't ruin marriages the men seak them out because there might be something lacking in their marriage OR simply put it's far from that and they just have sex addictions.
In the program were we help women out of that work we also have a program for men who use them. People have this illusion in their heads it's as simple as them just not being lazy and finding a" real job".trust me it can be alot more complicated than that and as painful as it is to hear it's NOT personal on the wives if the men have addiction,they simply have an illness and the wife did nothing wrong. When you really come to this realization the liberation sets in and the anger ,blame and judgement for all parties goes away because you 'll know it's not about you!
I'm glad you're out of that. My husband cheated with prostitutes for years and also had affairs . I know that nobody ever held a gun to his head but he was to weak to resist the temptation which ofcourse is his own fault.
To all the women who have discovered your man's double life:
First of all I am 24 years old, very attractive with a heart of gold and a brain… I would love to share my story with you. If you go back to the older posts under Evelyn it will say it all. Anyways even after Ed told me to leave this asshole, i stayed. He confessed told me he was sorry and that he was a "sex addict". I honestly should have left his ass at this point as i felt inside when he was explaining himself that he had just googled the term and regurgitated it to me. He gave me all his passwords, shut down his secret email accounts and gave me acces to his bank account and claimed he was going to get counselling…..yeah right. I also requested that until i felt less sick about being intimate with him, he had to pay me $500 a day if we were going to have sex and $300 if he was just spending time with me no sex. I know some may be thinking what the F**K…but I did this only to try and phase out the addictive behaviour (if it was true), recourse his focus from the whores and onto only me offcourse take advantage of my new found power.. Ladies he payed me once then started complaining about how much money it was, and all sorts of bullshit. I couldn't believe that it was too much money to spend on me but a whore was different. I finally realised there was no point and i got rid of him…This guy was just a jerk who wanted to fuck around on me, perhaps he got a thrill out of the whole thing, but i will never know. After some counselling i realised it NEVER has anything to do with us it is them and their sick fantasies and sick minds. It is about their search for control, their inability to give and complexities they have developed to cope from a young age that they havn't dealt with as an adult. With his confession he had told me this bahaviour had been going off and on since he was 22, he was now turning 35. I mean if this wasn't a red flag in itself then i dont know what is.
Don't blame the whores, this guys had formed a habitual behaviour that he could now not deal with, in my case i knew he had some fetishes and i believe that what he had opened up with me was only a scratch on the surface, what he was really urging and doing was with the Whores and thats why he went there. this void that he felt he could only fill through sexual gratification was his problem and that is the first problem he needed to deal with before he coulf pass this phase in his life. The whores where only a quick fix that's why they don't have an affair or an emotional relationship. There is more to their problem than you think and the unfortunate thing is you can't help them unless you want to destroy yourself in the process. From monitoring his bank account and asking questions about suspicious activity i got alot of defensive and dismissive responses, and i knew that he was up to no good again. This killed me inside but i still stayed and listened to the lies. The guys was a compulsive liar…and that was definately the hardest thing to deal with.
Evelyn,
Age had NOTHING to do with maturity. You're about the youngest one on here and the most logical rational one. You've gained wisdom without being bitter and directed your anger to the proper source. You'll excell in life and find someone who is exclusive to you with his heart soul and body!
I have been in the same vote as everyone else here. My boyfriend is married and his divorce is finally going through. He has called escorts numerous times and I have conforted him every time. I don't know what to do anymore. Seems like its a road that is never gonna come to an end. He knows that it is wrong. But what I don't understand is why the hell is he calling in the first place? He says that he is happy with me. I am the love of his life. He wants to be with me for the rest of his life. But why put our relationship at jeopardy? I am not the one to chase someone and call them every minute to see what they are doing. But lately, I have. I am beside myself. 🙁 (he chased me down for a full year to date him and when I finally gave in, I had no idea that I had to face this dark side of him).
I too am dealing with a man I thought was wonderful who also has a "dark side". They only change if they realize they have a problem, and only IF they get help. I currently live with my husband still who has actually been nicer over the holidays but I am waiting for HYDE to come out. That will be fun. The only thing I can say is dont blame yourself and separate your feelings about yourself from his actions. He says it has to do with you, but its all about him. I hope this helps.
Hmmm, can I just point out that he was MARRIED when you got involved?? I understand your pain, and he absolutely sucks, but no person should expect fidelity (or basic good character) from a person who would pursue another women while married.
You can and should move on, as even from way out here in cyberspace I can tell you he is not going to stop this narcissistic behavior. He will destroy your self esteem if he has not already. You can repair it if you get away. Please get away!
After 41 years of marriage, I recently discovered that my husband has been picking up hookers off the street for blow jobs etc for years. The asshole is useless in bed and has been from the start. I have always suspected that he was cheating, but he always denied it. He even went as far as convincing me and my therapist that I was delusional about it. He is a 67 yr old retired teacher and possibly into little boys as well as big ones. However, one hooker whom he refused to pay let him have it right in the kisser! Good for you little girl! He told me he was mugged. I discovered the truth after reading a police report on line. I threw him out, with the help of police and my son. He is now living in a welfare apt and has been shuned by his son and daughter. I feel nothing but contempt for him – a man that I nursed thu cancer and heart disease. I am seperated from him and am having trouble dealing with the rage I feel towards him. I am 63 and wasted my life on a common animal who lives in Halifax,n.s.Canada. He thretened to jump off a bridge when I wouldn't take him back. Of course he was bluffing -he doesn't have the balls!
I'm so sorry you went through this/ are going through this. I feel your rage. It is a really sad story. It truly sounds like your husband was/is mentally ill… not that this would negate anything he's done to you/ your family. It seems like an almost psychotic narcissism. Not even a "common animal" would behave this destructively. And at his age?? I'm wondering if he had any other issues coinciding with this behavior. Were there drugs or alcohol? Bi-polar signs? Even prescription medications interacting? It really seems so bizarre for a retired 67 year old teacher!
Also, I'm wondering how you came to find the police report… did he or the hooker file charges against the other?
By the way, I'm from the same city as you!
Holy cow–your story was tough to read. Thank god you have your wonderful and loyal children.
One element seems to be a constant through many of these stories: husband isn’t interested or very enthusiastic about sex. Mine liked to tell me that I wasn’t encouraging enough, so that’s why he didn’t initiate. Turns out the real problem was that I wasn’t a 20-something hooker with 38D implants. All these years I could have been getting the sex and physical affection I needed, but was completely taken in by the bastard.
Oh, your story is so awful. It’s one thing when these bastards cheat, it’s another when they try to convince you that you are crazy for catching on to what they’re doing! Glad you have the support of your kids.
He doesnt have the balls cause he gave them away to evil entities. I understand your anger…. but you must put it in a place and leave it be. He’s taken 41 years away from you on false beliefs, dont give him another moment! Find someone else… it’s never too late! But it will be if you dont lose the anger
I stumbled on this page not by accident. I am one of so called "Whores" .
Everyday woman, without drug or alcohol problems, not pimped out, not set out on wrecking homes and definitely not pursuing married men.
For 7 years I was married, 6 of them rather happily. Last year my ex husband developed ED issues which he was ashamed to tell me about and blamed lack of sex on me not being attractive.
I took emotional abuse for a year , then packed up and left. I literally walked away from the business we built together. He confessed that he was taking medication that caused him impotence and begged me to return. I could not. Not after I was humiliated as a woman. Then he proceeded to bully me into coming back by suing for alimony.
I helped him built 1.5 million dollar biz, but on paper he was working there part time and getting minimum wage. All stocks were secretly transferred into his friends/family names. I, on another hand, had white collar job and was "bread winner" of the family.
Took me 3 years and a lot of harrassment from him to get my freedom.
Once single, I started dating and several times I would go out with men, hear their stories on how they are looking for soulmate etc etc etc only to discover by accident that they were married!
I was practically living with one when I discovered that he had a wife and 2 children in another country.
So two years ago, when I had to take huge salary cut, I decided to try becoming an escort. Why? Because the only thing men look for these days is NSA, booty calls, Fuck buddies etc
They don't want commitment and responsibility. And if they want their precious freedom, then they better pay for it!
Since I have a job, I only see men in the evenings and on weekends. I also won't see anyone at my home. They have to be able to have company at theirs. As result, absolute majority of men I see I are single.
Here is funny thing that I discovered. Once you make them jump trough the hoops and charge for it, they treat you like gold. When you support them in everything they do, they shit on you.
Are there instances when a married guy "sneaks in"? Sure. That;s probably same guy who goes out to bars on Thursday nights and keeps his ring in his pocket. Same guy who while on business trips always claims that he is single. Same guy who goes to sites like Ashley Madison and tells everyone who will listen that his wife does not understand him I have no respect for these guys.
STDs. I often talk to my single friends who are dating and stories they tell me are shocking! They feel they have to be "good girls" and having condom with them or asking man for one is sign that they are "whores".
Well, if any man I see tries to go for unsafe sex, his ass is out and his name will be plastered on all discussion boards escorts use for safety. Same goes for any verbal or physical abuse.
If a guy wants to see me, he has to give me his name, last name, address, work info. So should he even THINK of anything he knows I have all his information. And believe me, they are only brave when they think you don't know how to find them.
How many men I see? Usually it is 3 or 4 guys a month. Some see me once a month, some see me once a week, some for a weekend. If I stop seeing one, I "accept" another.
Now, am I the norm? No. There are girls who will see anything that walks into door and do 10 "dates" a day, 7 days a week. There are pimped girls, young and forced into prostitution, girls on drugs and thiefs. For them it is a life. For me, it is business. No matter how handsome,smart or funny guy thinks he is, he either has to make a commitment or pay for it.
When they ask if we can see each other "off the clock" ie for free I always give them a choice. They can stop paying if they are willing to be faithful and committed to me. If they are ready to replace paid companion who is there to feed their ego with GF and potential mate who will demand respect and undivided attention. Funny how all of them prefer to pay.
Will I ever get married again? If I meet someone who is not afraid to be a MAN.
Just remember Ladies there are three sides to every story. His side, her side, and the truth.
I think you have a lot of guts to write your experiences as an escort. It puts it into perspective for wives like me who have been jaded by mistresses or hookers. My husband was one of the ones who "snuck in" saying he was single. It took me a long time to realize it was him and not the other woman who I should be mad at. THank you for your insight into your world. God Bless.
Your story is important to tell, and I feel compassion for you.
However, I could argue that you are facilitating the exact behavior that hurt you. Even if these "men" are single (and they likely are not really single, just not living with the partner), you are an integral part of the sick game being played here. You are literally encouraging sex for money.
It's not your fault that the men you "engage with" have come to prefer sex as business over sex as part of an intimate relationship.
It's not your fault they might be cheating on their partners, BUT everytime you play that game you are saying -in no uncertain terms- that it's OK to be living this way, for him to be paying you for sex instead of trying to make a relationship work. For you to be a easy thing for his ego; rather than a real person with a mind and spirit worth getting to know and need (and be occasionally tired of, as is all of real life).
And even worse perhaps, you are telling yourself these things too.
It's bad energy created and put out there. People get paid, and get what they want in the moment… but that is not an ideal to strive for.
exactly don't lower your standards as a woman because of your bad experiences!
If you’ve got to make excuses for being such an ugly entity go for it. I’m not buying your crap. You went from being half classy to low life in my book. Ahhh, can’t find your mate so why not fuck them all??? You’ve got some serious issues. If you ever really believed and loved God, you could never be a prostitute. Even the prostitutes in the bible repented when they realized what God expected!
If you had any type of intelligence you wouldnt be a prostitute…. so quite daunting on your “to do list” on proper etiquette of being a dumb whore!
Another woman you;re better than that ,as a woman myself stop selling your precious body! I don't judge and even had my husband use prostitutes for years,none of them ruined my marrigae he did!
I'm so sorry about the misfortunes of your marriage,we all have them. There are so many other things you can do. Don't send me a nasty defensive post back. You know the truth of you being better. STOP THAT SHIT NOW! as a mother who does energy work and a yoga instructor I can tell you selling your precious body is SOUL DESTROYING and not worth any money! We can all justify it until we're blue in the face with lame examples of this or that but in the end you're kidding yourself! Get motivated to develop another skill or respark a passion you can make money at. No matter how safe you try to be doing that,it's as dangerous as hell!
Justine, with all due respect…. it's really none of your goddamn business what anyone does with their body. Maybe you should focus a little more on yourself than trying to hange others.
Ivy,are you a prostitute you must be to be that defefensive. My comment is encouraging and positive. Theres about 20 women on here bashing prositutes I find it interesting you happen to pick my particular comment,and yes it is everyones business when the women are marketing some peoples husbands and fathers to sell it too. You have the power to get off your back Ivy and make money on your feet! You can do it girl come on come on….lift one knee in front of the other and soon you be standing on your feet! (crowd applauds in unison with a collective sign of relief)
also! Rise above this shit! Don't let the misfortunes of your marriage and bad experiences with men make YOU lower yourself….Become better and work on yourself so you don't attract this so called guy you say is the only thing that exists,basically your letting those past experiences bring you to your lowest life condition.BE STRONGER and more optimistic. Life is 10% odf what happens and 90 % of how we handle it!
the guys you charge are treating you like gold for the hour or however long they buy your time,please don't tell yourself lies that men have more respect for you if you see them as a prostitute!
You sound bitter.
We should be thankful to get "Another Woman" to reveal her side of the story. Don't you want to know? You should not be on this site if you are into attacking other people who post.
We should support each other no matter our life choices.
"Another Woman" is only telling the truth as she sees it. I support her.
What I do not support is the issues relating to betrayal in a supposedly committed relationship. That is the real issue here, not whether you like escorts or think they are wrong to live their lifestyles. Can we get back to the issue and save this for another discussion board?
You call them escorts? THey dont escort the men anywhere but to sex and after they get their roses (money) put down!!!!! Get real, these are whores, prostitues and high paid working out of their luxury homes, in our towns!!! they live next door, down the block etc…… it is wrong as its illegal activity!!!! our husbands are sicko prics for going to them, but they are wrong to do it and pass disease!!!!!!
Another woman,
I couldn't agree more with what Justine said,so every woman who's been burned by shitty men should just go out and throw their scrupples away and sell their bodies? You sould as jadded ashell and what a counter productive logic you have! Are you really saying men respect a hooker more? You're a twisted soul!
Oh yes Another woman you sound like such a classy hooker with boundaries,that just makes all the difference in the world! ! We all have so much respect for you now that you make sure your safe,use protection and don't let them do anything unpleasant. Reality check,that may not be in your control one day if you bump into a psycho sweetheart. How naive of you! Then it's be to late to ask yourself of it was worth self deprecating yourself while your lying in the morgue with a toe tag dangling from your foot.
Honestly the world is dangerous enough,stop your diluted rationalizations!
Seriously,you're not punishing the men who jaded and disappointed you or any men in general,your punishing yourself! You should stop that now!
You didnt really take the time to understand her point of view. I have been hurt just like all of you but I had the integrity to actually listen and understand her point of view. Being an escort probably isnt the safest job in the world but its not their fault their husbands decided to go out and cheat.
don't be a bitch,for a prostitute to come here and explain the other side or give another perspective is good for the wives to hear..don't ruin it for the rest of us level headed women who want to have dialoge without name calling.
You people are horrible and deserve to be cheated on!
Word.
get off your back Ivy!
some of you women have stories that hurt my heart,some of you are inpirations and make me proud to have you as a sister if womanhood however some of you sound totaly nuts and I can see why your husbands cheat!
I never thought anything until my husband left his phone on counter and went to work out.He always had a password on but this time i could see the phone wasnt locked,Lets just say it didnt take long to find text messages from multiple numbers that were extremely explicit.I decided to a search on the numbers,most of them came up anonamous but was able to find one that matched 954 899 5683 or ironically 954 899 love.I come to find out this hooker has been getting cash from my husband for a long time and playing him while he was playing me.I am glad i can vent on this site although i have been helping to make her life a living hell like mine.I found out her identity julia m rabolli a realtor by day i suppose and a hooker whenever some asshole pays her to suck or f…. or god only knows what.Anyways i find out shes a nova student and payed a p.i. to watch my asshole husband and her.lets just say her school,her work,her family and anyone i can find knows who she really is now and my husband has his coming also.Im gonna hit him where it really counts,his wallet.p.s. for any other wives out there the irs loves to know about these prostitutes and getting cash without reporting it.
POW I'm so sorry about this,way to go with posting just HER name and number and while admitting you're angry and mad at him we really know who the real monster is right? The whore!
You do know we men just laugh at you women when you do this and feel a sense of relief when your stupid enough to just post her name?LOL Thank you for being dumb enough to direct "MOST" of the anger to her! How dare she tempt your husband into calling her and she probably held a gun to his head while she sucked him off…even though your evolved enough to put SOME of the blame on him it mostly goes to her right?
POW I'm so sorry about this,way to go with posting just her name and number and while admitting you're angry and mad at him we really know who the real monster is right? The whore!
You do know we men just laugh at you women when you do this and feel a sensew of relief when your stupid enough to jst post her name?LOL Thank you for being dmb enough to direct "MOST" of the anger to her!
How dare she tempt your husband into calling her and she probably held a gun to his head while she sucked him off…even though your evolved enough to put SOME of the blame on him it mostly goes to her right?
My husband did the same thing POW but becareful who you blame,most women that get into that are forced and human trafficking…it's pigs like your husband and mine to seek them out. I would leave her alone,becase your hubby is a pig your going to ruin her life even more,maybe she's trying hard as hell to get out of that and is working as a realestate agent,seriously telling her friends and family isn't going to make you feel that much better,they may already know and if they really love her they won't jdge her but see you as the nut job! .
f No one doubts that you're upset, but I think your anger should be more at your husband. If it wasn't this girl, it would have been someone else. Harming this woman will not make your husband less of a pig
Againt pissed off wife
Interesting,hooker or not she still doesn't deserve to be harrassed by a nut case wife misplacing her anger and trying to make someones life as miserable as hers. I'm a laywer and perhaps I'll contact this woman to see if she needs a lawyer against your harrassment,becareful Pissed off wife you could end up in jail with a restraining order! Be an adult POW and own your own miserable life without blaming anyone else for it! Your husbands a whore and thats all
BS!!! They can wind up in Jail when the police actually do their job and do stings on the homes!!! Its illegal activity ILLEGAL prostitution!!! Us wives will stick togehter against people like you!!! Of course our own spouses are whores, but why arent these prostitutes that work out of their homes in our towns get closed down??????? probably cause of lawyers like you who wish to protect them!!!!!!! ugggs makes me sick!!!!
they spread disease and Hepatitis C which is the first test my dr. did to me, they spread it all even the higher paid ones… uggggggg
I love how you talk about beating the shit out of your husband and hunting down the prostitutes but call them criminals,last time I checked prostitution is a misdemeanor and assault/stalking is a felony. You’re a worse criminal in the eyes of the justice system and you would and should get more time hypocrit! Criminals like you should be put behind bars Deb from South Florida! You’re a felon Deb!
Your in florida? me too!!!! 954 is my area code, broward county write me via email: [email protected] Im starting a local support group for us wives!!!!!!!
That's why we won;t post any info about him right? Just her. Honestly when are you women going to start directing your REAL anger to the proper source and don't come back on here trying to tell us you're blaming him just as much,other wise you wold have posted his information too.It's so safe to blame the whore that yo know nothing about and it's so easy to judge someone else's life when your husband initiated it,seriously ladies if you post her info POST HIS TOO!!
Hope you get some therapy,vindictive behavior is only TEMPORARILY satisfying and leaves you depleted in the end
you sound like a pig Larry!
I think alot of these women who are trashing the hookers and posting their numbers are ignorant trash themsevles,ALOT of those women are victims and forced into that, What a bunch of battle axes misdirecting your anger..BLAME YOUR HUSBANDS!!!! The I R S? thats the least of those ladies problems,alot of them end up in prison or dead. Seriously some of you have some misguided hatred for the wrong party!
i can relate. my husband devastated me when I found out he cheated on me with an escort he found at http://secretsojourn.com
i couldn’t believe he would do that to the family. wasting $200 for an hour with an escort he could have spent on the family.
Well said Evelyn!
My husband posted reviews of prostitues on TER and the Utopia guide. i stumbled upon them by googling an email id he thought i didnt know existed. I suspected something was off bec he never seemed interested in sex with me. He denies it of course, but out of a thousand million people, i recognise his writing, his choice of words, his phrases, his way of thinking and putting it down in words… and it kills me that he's doing this to me just two years after our wedding. After i confronted him he changed his style of writing for further reviews he posted, its soooo fucking transparent, the sudden change in style by the same poster. I had earlier been jealous of him interacting with his two ex-fiances…. and had thought at the time i'd be ok with him seeing prostitutes but not those two women. Boy, did it come and bite me right in the face. I don't know what to do.
Hello,
I recently broke up with my boyfriend of 3 years. I found out that he has a thing for escorts which began prior to meeting me. He claims that this was introduced to him while he was in the military and wishes he never had started. When I first met him I thought he was the perfect man. He was with through my military deployement and when I returned he moved with me to california from texas. I found out about this problem 2 months ago and decided to work through with him however I realize that no matter what you and what memories you hold on to its never going to be the same. My ex was so big on respect and would tell me that he would not cheat since he grew seeing his mom cheated on(she has been married 4 times, 3 out 4 cheated). I realized that somemthing was not right when he became less emotional and not initiating sex. I too am an attractive person and was dumbfounded and shocked to the core after googling the numbers he was calling and texting. These woman were so gross and nasty.
To top it off I was working as a police officer and never saw the signs. I had access to his phone and never did a call or text coming in from one of these escorts. I still can't believe that this happened to me, reading this blog has made me feelt that I am not alone with my feelings. I love him so much and know that he did alot for me, but I have to let him go in order to be happy. I will be 30 in June and I want to be happy, heres to a new begining…
Just drump him or go counselling with him, whichever helps you feel at peace with yourself.
Prostitutes are trash. We have all been through difficult times in our life and it does not give us the right to be an accessory to destroy the lives of others. Do take your anger out on them and your husband. They should know what society and real women think of them. It is well deserved.
If prostitutes are trash so our are dam husbunds lady and so is the ivy league harvard grad who sleeps with married men! You're husband ruined your marriage. The only differance between a wife and a prostitute is a blessing,it's the same dam job! So the hell what if you would have mad different choices unserd differnet circumstances alot of young women are sold and forced into that then bimbo woemn like you want to direct your anger to the wrong source GROW A BRAIN LADY and just don't marry a cheater next time. Prostitutes are not the problem.that job will exist until the end of time and always will ……you married a sex addicted pig who SEEKED THEM out and so did I,and who are we to decide what "real women are" according to your little moral handbook right" ?
Reading all of this makes me weep. I’m in a long term relationship. I love my girlfriend. Recently, however, I started to find it hard to finish while we’re having sex. She’s also finding it painful because I take too long. Now, I try less because I don’t want to hurt her. I’m ashamed and frustrated. It doesn’t seem to bother her though, she seems happy just not having sex and doesn’t seem to object in any way. She never mentions anything and never initiates. When I try to make a move, she’s constantly tired or busy. I know that she wants to get married and her friends are telling her that she should give me an ultimatum. Recently, I started looking at porn on the Internet – from what I can see, it’s not an issue with my equipment. I am beginning to see what happens to these guys. Eventually, they just get lazy – porn and other girls are the easy option compared to facing up to their own shortcomings and sexually unintrested wives/girlfriends. Add things like relgious piety and other delusions into the mix and you have a recipe for disaster.
Hookers…..get google voice nmbers so livid wives misdirecting their anger can't post numbers you use for other things
My husband would not like it if I looked up male escorts, rang them, denied it, said it was just a fantasy, then password protected my computer and deleted phone history, always had loads of cash in wallet but always pays for things with a card…….stopped kissing him and having sex with him but still demanded oral sex from him, only hugged him at night when I needed someone to hold.
If I got so angry when confronted that I shouted and hit him.
in fact I'm certain he would asume I didn't love him anymore, that I was paying to have sex with prostitutes and that there was no point in staying – he would leave me pretty quickly.
That's what we put up with though. It must be unrequited love. If you love someone you don't treat them like that. I wouldn't so there must be men out there that wouldn't.
And I also wouldn't have sex with a stranger for any amount of money under any circumstances.
Add to all this we are putting ourselves at risk for death of AIDs because its 6 months before you can be tested for HIV…..why are we still here girls?
Is it because we secretly hope that the man you married will come back and start loving you again? Was he ever real since he is such a good liar?
Or is it because we have been groomed into thinking that we can't cope without them.
You know what? I can't feel any lower about myself and men ask me out all the time…but I'm married…ha ha ha! Funny how we still think we should be faithful.
I feel low, I feel hurt, I feel physical pain, I feel scared of what I may be infected with, I feel raped….
how can living without that be worse than this?
Well when you are threatened with having the company car taken away from you, sacked from your job even though you are a director of his company (he found a legal way to do this) your card stopped
and him moving out and not paying the mortgage anymore it doesn't seem that easy.
Instead of lying on your backs and helping married men abuse women, why don't you prostitutes get together and form a company that helps married housewives with kids to leave their cheating husbands. These women don't want to go to a hostel, they want to stay where they are – kick the bloke out and carry on….but we just don't know how because we have been programmed to 'put up and shut up' – yet as you see on here we can't….
Sally,
The only difference between a wife and a prostitute is a blessing,it's the same dam job!
Sally OMG!!
I'm so sorry and I feel your pain.I know how you feel I have stayed with Tim after finding out he was using escorts for three years. I lost my job and have two kids. If I left him my world would turn upside down.
Why are we still here girls is the question. We stay because some of us have to. There's just no light at the end of the tunnell for me.I know he still see's them and I'm working on my uncle hiring me full time as a secretary. Pray for me ladies.
Good uck Kathleen, I think that's what I'll do, once we have a job that doesn't depend on our men we may grow our spines back…;)
Quite frankly it seems as if the prostitutes like to believe the husbands story of how the wives don't have sex with them or perform their deviant ideas a little too much.
They want to believe that having sex with a married man actually helps a marriage.
Yet I haven't heard a woman that has been cheated on with a prostitute once say that she has let herself go, stopped having sex or refused to do certain things with her husband.
Its no different to a cheating man that tells the bit on the side his wife is bad, they don't have sex etc…
its all lies – the man goes home and probably the first thing he does is bang the wife and gets a kick out of having 2 women in one day.
No I wouldn't ring these prostitutes because they won't speak to you, their head is firmly in the sand, just like any woman that sleeps with a married man they don't want to know the truth, that you exist, that you want to save your marriage and are a good person, it makes them feel guilty and that's not what they like to feel.
They are in a fantasy land where they are doing a service to us…they don't care that it hurts other people. I don't care how you put it, these women are in it for the money and you can't blame their upbringing on that.
That would suggest that only women brought up in poverty become prostitutes – well that doesn't explain why women from good backgrounds become escorts – but money does!
I remember when my sister was having an affair, she didn't want to know the other wife existed, she hated her, called her names and woudn't even talk to me about her, for 9 years this went on until she saw how my husbands cheating and lying affected me, then she had to see how it affects the good wife, then she woke up and saw that the guy would never leave his wife, was lying about his wife being bad and was probably still having sex with his wife….helloooo…;)
Yes, these women should be made aware of how they have hurt and affected women that thought they were in a relationship where they could have unprotected sex and make babies with a man they trusted….they should be told….but they should not be asked or begged for help….forget that….don't lower yourself to that level.
Just make them face the truth often enough and maybe they will also get a backbone and get a job that doesn't make them as dependant on men as we are.
Yes, we wives are like prostitutes…except we are cleaner and we don't lie to our men.
We are what single men fantasise about, while they are banging a prostitute.
The grass is always greener….and a wife is always cleaner boys!
I understand your views.
In addition, we have to take responsibility for our own fiscal well-being. We trap ourselves if we depend on men for our house, food, and over-all happiness. Once our gender accepts personal responsibility for our own welfare, letting go of bad situations will not require blame.
It is not the fault of the provider of "services". That is like saying Dunkin Donuts is the reason people are obese or have high cholesterol. No one HAS to go into the store. We need to discuss the demand issues, not the supply issues. Supply is provided AFTER there is a demand.
Thank god theres another intelligent woman out there. I've been cheated on to but am sick of these women acting like a bunch of spineless wimps and letting men off the hook by blaming somone their pig of a husband seeked out.
I disagree. Wives are not prostitutes cause we don’t get paid for being laid. Money received (allowance) goes to the family. We don’t fake pleasure when laid and we want our men enjoy lovemaking/itimacy as much as we do. Have more pride, dignity and confidence in yourself. Be independent too, doing things when he’s not around alone and allow him to be STAR if you think he needs compliment by asking him to do things you cannot but he can.
sure keep tellin yourself that
LOVE IT!!!!
I know, it’s demeaning to know your husband is seeking sex elsewhere. That is until I realized they are the ones with the bottomless hole for a soul. It is exactly my own groundedness that makes me wonder why I’m not enough. There is no lack of sex in our lives, and I am a very sensous artist. Originally, wondering why I was not enough, even when we had sex nightly and his friends all say I’m the most beautiful woman around, kept me awake nights. I certainly don’t feel beautiful at all. But, it honestly does not weigh in as much to me, if I am or am not. It is my own groundedness, and yours, that makes us even ask that why they look elsewhere. We do not need endless affirmations that yes, we are sexy, virul, powerful, even dominant. They’re running scared and no amount of women or sex, or abuse even, will take that away. They’re scared of their own insignificance
I realized, I am so much better off, with or without him. I don’t need his affirmations to be whole and satisfied. He obviously will never be, and that’s miserable. It’s like watching someone light a whole box of matches, one by one, and wonder why the fireplace is still cold. They never get past the flare up. Our intimacy is so hollow now for me because of his behavior I’m not surprised he looks elsewhere. I’m a horrible actress and he’s pathetic to me and who wants to be naked in front of that? But he won’t leave, and my children adore him so I won’t either. It’s defenseless, what we do to one another.
Hope you’re a secretary now, and loving it.
BITCH STOP POSTING THE SAME SHIT ALL OVER THE BOARD..DUMB ASS! Once is enough,not only are you a dumb blinde your a fukkin parrot!
This is great dialoge. My husband was addicted to porn for ten years,went to strip clubs,saw prosititutes and spent over $10,000 that I know of. I have been in counseling and still go.We were married for 12 years,and the divorce just went through. We never had children together thank god! I'm starting a new life.
Ladies leave right away if you ever discover this,they won't change and it's not woth the pain.
I feel both ways about the other party,as for the strippers I and a friend went into a strip club he frequented to check it ot while I was still in the insanity phase of trying to save that hopeless marriage. The strippers were'nt any older that 25 and some looked 18. They were little lost girls to me and I couldn't hate them.
I actually called a prostitute and not because I was being stupid or feel like it's a lesser choice of Kathleens and Sallys BUT because I was pissed and trying to save my marriage and it was just safer to direct my rage onto the stranger and keep my husband safe!
I
I called and said exactly this: "How does it feel to ruin a 12 year marriage sweetheart?" to which she replied.'It's pretty pathetic you blame a stranger for your marriage problems" and hung up. I called back and demanded she talked to me,she said "Thats pointless because theres no right or wrong answer that will help you" and then she blocked my phone number. It was a very challenging time and I thank god I got some help and counseling. The straw that broke the camels back was when he was texting a prostitute the the time I was leaving the next day so she could come over.
GRRRRRRRRRR That would piss me off!!! Did you want to kil her? What an arrogant bitch for dsimissing your feelings!
Um Or husbands are the ones who dismiss our feelings dear,as sad as it is hookers don't owe the wife any explanation nor do they have to open places for the abused wives,it's the abused wives responsibilty to get out of the marriage and take some ownership she married the pig. I did this and so should y'all Who's the one who goes trolling? Hookers can't even be honest with themselves so no they are not going to take any ownership here forget about it
So, leave. Been there, done that.
First husband got more and more addicted to internet porn and started seeing the women. We have kids, so of course we tried counseling first. Waited five years after divorce to start dating through a very high class dating service that checks out the members thoroughly. No married men, sex offenders, or parasites. Married again. A man who’s been through seminary, married for 20 years and his wife just left after the last kid went to college because she always wanted to live up north and he hates the cold.
The “put out or shut up” argument is invalid. We had sex nightly for a year.
He claimed to be, and for all purposes appeared to be deliriously happy. And satisfied. Actually worried he wasn’t enough for me. Wrong. His phone woke me up ringing at 2am. Odd time for a call, I checked it, his dad is really ill and I don’t know the numbers for all his family there. It was a “courtesan”. He had texted her first, a repeat customer it seems. My first thought, when does he have the time to see her? That’s how often we’re together.
The silly little girl next door who believed in happily ever after is dead. I’m bleaching my hair blonde, getting a boob job, and living the reality. It’s a fucking banquet and you’re just an appetizer.
Do not put yourselves in the same space with these people. They’re vultures and you’re an eagle. Fly above it.
don’t be so judgmental sweet heart,you don’t know what she’s overcome in her life,she may be a eagle in regards to were she could have been and what she;s over come. Get off your moral highhorse you’re not better than anyone,even though your bruised ego would like to think you are. You women are so dam insecure and catty!
Typical man response. Woman gets cheated on repeatedly by someone she believes she shares her life and soul with, but feeling hurt is somehow “catty”. Maybe it’s catty to be a cowardly little bitch who needs a bevy of women to keep his fragile ego intact.
Oh Mitch…… just say it!!! YOU’RE A CHEATER TOO!!! Why else would you defend such an evil entity??
Vultures can fly higher than eagles.
Vultures fly higher than eagles BITCH!
LOL as pissed off as that made you. Thats the best dam answer yet and sure cuts to the reality “There’s no right answer she can possibly give you” What the hell do you want her to say? Thats what you get for going to the wrong party for anwsers,DON’T LOWER AND EMBARASS YOURSELF by calling a machine that your husband seeked out! It makes no sense!
Well Mitch…. somewhere in this madness there’s a stark understanding that if “these” types of women weren’t so available that men would cheat with themselves…. lol It’s the prostitute that should be embarrassed… lost innocence and void of Christianity.
It’s all perspective babe.You’re the one that should be embarrassed,judgmental bitch and void of compassion.
I called the prostitute my hubby had been cheating on me with for over 2 years and asked her if she wanted help getting out of it! I don’t regret that…. I regret that she didn’t think prostitution was bad.
I may just take your advice.
I’ve known for two years about my husband’s “hobby.” I even have a retainer in with an attorney. Why haven’t I left? I’m scared. I’m over 50, recently treated for breast cancer and afraid I may be having a relapse. Not looking for advice, just hoping to gain a little courage while reading this.
You are a beautiful person. Take some time, enjoy some days in the sun, minus that dead weight.
I know, it’s demeaning to know your husband is seeking sex elsewhere. That is until I realized they are the ones with the bottomless hole for a soul. It is exactly my own groundedness that makes me wonder why I’m not enough. There is no lack of sex in our lives, and I am a very sensous artist. Originally, wondering why I was not enough, even when we had sex nightly and his friends all say I’m the most beautiful woman around, kept me awake nights. It is my own groundedness, and yours, that makes us even ask that. We do not need endless affirmations that yes, we are sexy, virul, powerful, even dominant. They’re running scared and no amount of women or sex, or abuse even, will take that away. They’re scared of their own insignificance
I realized, I am so much better off, with or without him. I don’t need his affirmations to be whole and satisfied. He obviously will never be, and that’s miserable. It’s like watching someone light a whole box of matches, one by one, and wonder why the fireplace is still cold. They never get past the flare up. Our intimacy is so hollow now for me because of his behavior I’m not surprised he looks elsewhere. I’m a horrible actress and he’s pathetic to me and who wants to be naked in front of that? But he won’t leave, and my children adore him so I won’t either. It’s defenseless, what we do to one another.
Dark and dreary, but what I wanted to say is I’m sending love to you. I have three friends who are cancer survivors, and lost my grandmother much too soon to it. I’ve had three scares, but nothing malignant. We value our lives so much more in these moments. Your impact is endless, so go and find your voice/love/talent, and share it… NOW. With or without him.
sending you a TRUCK LOAD Allisa. Leave the dodo to his hobbies. Do NOT stay around to be his caregiver.
Prayers for you sweetie. God bless.
prayers for your husband to leave your nasty ass bitch
It’s a shitty dialoge with a bunch of fridgid hags feeding into eachothers pitty party, staying stuck in victim and anger mode,some hating on husbands that have more good qualities than bad and blaming the whores ,nothing self empowering about this board.I’d run from most of you bitter battle axes. Instead of writing and venting on here get into therapy or go give your hubby some good head!
you can always tell a prostitute in these forums……. uh, ummm…. just sayn! What I see these women hating on is CHEATING, LYING, SHALLOW, DECEITFUL RELATIONSHIPS! There are two sides in life….. RIGHTEOUS (Christianity) and WRONG (SATAN)…. no need to ask which side you are on……
Happy for your new life and good luck in finding true happiness. I hope my husband really repent and want sincerely to save our marriage or I will be like you soon. God bless.
So, leave. Been there, done that.
First husband got more and more addicted to internet porn and started seeing the women. We have kids, so of course we tried counseling first. Waited five years after divorce to start dating through a very high class dating service that checks out the members thoroughly. No married men, sex offenders, or parasites. Married again. A man who’s been through seminary, married for 20 years and his wife just left after the last kid went to college because she always wanted to live up north and he hates the cold.
The “put out or shut up” argument is invalid. We had sex nightly for a year.
He claimed to be, and for all purposes appeared to be deliriously happy. And satisfied. Actually worried he wasn’t enough for me. Wrong. His phone woke me up ringing at 2am. Odd time for a call, I checked it, his dad is really ill and I don’t know the numbers for all his family there. It was a “courtesan”. He had texted her first, a repeat customer it seems. My first thought, when does he have the time to see her? That’s how often we’re together.
The silly little girl next door who believed in happily ever after is dead. I’m bleaching my hair blonde, getting a boob job, and living the reality. It’s a fucking banquet and you’re just an appetizer.
what a wanker!
It’s not about women making the choice to lie on their backs! If they want to live that life let them.It’s about your choice in not staying with and marrying a cheater,stop blaming outside curcumstances.In the end and now you are and always will be responsible for your own fiscal well being no matter how much you want to blame anyone around you,GET OUT OF VICTIM MIND PATTERN!!
He found a legal way to do this proves you still matter to him. Whether he wants face or still love you. If you are in so much pain and cannot trust him as he makes no serious effort, then don’t be threatened bu his threats. Just look for a job and have one before you tell him ok, go ahead and take the car, sack me (but don’t let him know which co you’re going to work for), take away the card, fight for divorce using adultery (pls consult lawyer first and collect evidence first). Or just take the shit from him as he knows you need material stuff. Men are afraid of confident and independent women/wives. If you are not afraid of his threats by doing the oppposite, he know you might find future bf/husband and if he is easily jealous type, will stop his misdeeds. God bless you. Be strong.
Financial independence on both parts…LIBERATING. Could put sleazy lawyers out of business and therapists capitalising off of ‘pain.’
Sally, how the hell are prostitutes going to get off their backs and help abused women,when 99.9 percent of them are, and have been abused themselves? Seriously this is like the blind leading the blind. They can’t help you and it’s not their fault! While you’re at it go blame Mc Donalds for making people fat.
Have you ever heard the saying secure your own oxgen mask before helping others?
Prostitutes can’t even get their own life together,how the hell are they going take the time and money to start a support group for the wives of their tricks? Thats not their responsibilty! Your HUSBAND owes you.Thats the dummbest thing I’ve heard. I would suggest they get into therapy and heal their own abuse first. You sound like a jilted dumb ass wanting to blame the wrong party! GROW A BRAIN!
The men are the misogynist abusers Sally to both wives and ALL women..hookers too!
THE MEN THE MEN SWEETIE !!!! Dril that through your skull!
Depends which kind of prositutes your talking about!!!! The private ones that work out of their homes, some are very together and make tons of money!!! Some are in call only so visits are to their homes, some meet at nice hotels. The street walkers are messed up druggies, moreso then the home based ones. My husband did a prostitute right in my town, who has a lovlier home then me, drives a brand new mercedes, sees wealthy men and politicians, and has plastic surgery every year, travels the world. Yes she is disgusting pig to me, but she is well groomed and manicured, uses the best hairdressers in town, etc….. she is 60 and looks 40, he saw 12 different ones, in 10 months, each one he visited for about a month, I spoke to them all and met one!!!!! FElt like killing them all, but its Not their fault my own husband went to them, found their ads in the local new times and city link papers!!!! ugggggg
NEGATIVE! Perhaps some he saw seemed okay butThe stats on that are rare. Do more research! If you did you wouldn’t be coming on here making these comments! Most if NOT ALL have been abused and their lives are a disaster,fincially etc. many are forced into that and alot are young girls,don’t kid yourself for a minute that “they’re together” no woman selling her body is “together” most of them feel trapped and have a hard time getting out for many reasons.Just because she has material things doesn’t mean she’s not a mess,thats superficial! It doesn’ matter if anyone here is so superior “they would never do that”,most women don’t think they’ll ever do that!
Most women who do that have no financial maturity and are buying drugs giving it to pimps or spend it as fast as they make it. Sounds like that 60 year old is just a kept woman.there’s tons of different kinds out there,even gold diggers who look for sugar daddy. It’s rare a hooker is “well off.,together,and happy! Have you heard of HBO cathouse,we got that disgusting rag pulled from the air. The exploiting piece of shit Dennis is up for a round with me and I’ll be handing him his nuts in a paper cup,and thats on my good day!
We have a program for young trafficked girls some as young as 11,watch how you judge these women because your husband is a mysognistic pig! One millionaire pig saw a young girl,12 years old for three years,had rape sessions with her for two hours at a time,her anis is destroyed and she’ll wear a diaper or padding for the rest of her life.This millionaire bought his way out of jail,but I haven’t forgotten!! She was finally rescued in June of 2010,still wakes up screaming. Prostitutes are humans with feelings first,don’t dump your rage on them because of your husband HUNTED them down.
I’m not sure about this illusion of the happy well adjusted hooker,it doesn’t exist!
There’s some articulate,beautiful women on here going through some heavy stuff, and my heart and love goes out to you,but some on here talking about suing and violence towards the prostitutes,well If you came after one of my abused minors, I’d having your ass gasping for air in legal shit ,and I wouldn’t stop until I was sure you got it! I fight to the death for my cause,and women trying to get out of that life, and I go after the men too! Make sure your husbands not in my net,because I’ll hand him his balls in a cup,or serve them for dinner!
Im glad for the work you do!!! But: you are talking about different types of prostitutes!!!!! Ive done my research for 3 years and am writing a book and doing a lot of work !!!!! I am talking about one specific type of Prostitute , the home based private escort type , they say escort but they are Prostitutes!! As with any industry there is an array of different levels and these prostitutes that are private and home based do not need or have pimps!! They are on their own, all over our upper scale neigborhoods, making more money then most of us, and loving it!! I interviewed 12 of them!!!!!! Only one felt she did it because she had no other choice.. the others all chose to do it, love sex, invent sexual devices, happilly visit sex shops, talk about it, these are not the poor minors or sex slaves!!! They live in gorgeous homes, and good communities!!!! I REPEAT I am not talking about these poor young sex slaves , that is terrible!!! Im talking about a whole other breed of them and they are in their 30’s – 60’s just check the backpage.com or the back pages of the New Times paper!!!!! I met them, saw their homes, got to know some, talk to some on FACEBOOK, shop at same stores, .. they have nicer cars then I do, they are not the ones you are helping, I feel bad for the sex slaves, some are kidnapped and sold and abused terribly that is Different!!!!!!!!!! These home based private paid whores know what they are doing, they want it, they love it, they thrive on it….. they have good lives from all the money they make….. BUT its illegal and for that these kind of prostitues that do in base don their own will should be arrested and closed down!!!!!!! Or to to where its legal if that is their choice!!!! THey are happy and well adjusted and do NOT wish to get out, its their chosen career!!!!! They mostly have huge boobs and know how to use them!!! hahahahahaa you can write me at [email protected] anytime. I help women through now, because I myself went through it and emotionally broke down bad!!!!! Of course wanted to hurt the husband first, he seeked them out, he contributed to their illegal activity ande he contributed to the possibility of killing us both!!!! But these home based prostitutes are not sex slaves, they are not kidnapped, they have lucrative businesses out of their homes and its their choice, some even have husbands who go along with it and count the money all the way to the bank!!!! I would love to help your organization and help those poor kids its horrible and possibly the missing women in Aruba were sold as sex slaves, who knows? its goes on all over and is sooo horrible!!!!!!! So what do we do???????
Also these prostitues do have feelings and wants its our MONEY, show me the money!!! They dont do crap until the man puts the money down, then they go into their drama/ actress/ acting!!!! OH i love you, Oh your handsome, so great and wonderful what a man!!!! hahahahahahahah they are the best Actress’s in the world, its DIFFERENT with the kids forced into it, that is soooo terrible and sad, im so sorry for htem and would lvoe to help them. You need to learn more about these prostitutes come to Florida nd we can go on a tour!!!!!!!
PS these home based prostitues in our communities are not abused, they have about 4-5 clients per day, cars are hidden in the house garage, politicians, city officials, cops and lawyers visit these prostitues so they dont even bust them and close them down!!!!! 10 out of the 12 my hsuband went to were in late 40’s early 50’s and the one was 60 , didnt look it, but you should see them , their homes, their lives!!!! its dispicable this is how they make money, but its THEIR CHOICE, with this type of paid whore, no one twists their arm!!!! they are disgusting pigs as much as the husbands who visit them, but its their choice of profession!!!
PS which Genesis house is this? There is quite afew is it the one in Tenn???? let me know how I can help Im in Florida!!!!
if a woman is wanting to get out of “that” life she would…… there are more agencies to help them than there are to help us. Excuses for prostitution is as dumb as excuses for men cheating……
speaking of which…. Craigslist back page should be struck down by God!!!
wow you are so right!!! I saw the word bloke is this site based out of england?
we are in USA, here in Florida, my husband saw 12 prostitues and one right in my town, who work out of their homes… ugggggs wacko men, but I dated and cheated right back and he did NOT like it, I even left for one year!!!!! I did come back, yep we are nuts but my hsubnad is making changes and getting alot of help YOU GO OUT N HAVE FUN!!!! TAKE IT FROM ME, OTHER MEN WILL BUILD YOU BACK UP, BE CAREFUL AND SAFE, DATE FRIENDS WHOM YOU KNOW AND HAVE FUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Your married but he did it so pay backs are a b….. but its not really paybacks, it helps us build our self esteem back up, and its fun!!!!!!! My eyes will always be open, when the right man comes bye bye cheating husbnad… He said he did it for 10 months , one bout in his life and never again, I told him if there is a next time it will get violent, I did beat him when I found out initially and had a break down, and I never ever had a fight in my life before, Men push us to the limit cause some of them are selfish jerks!!!!!!!!
write me anytime [email protected]
Interesting Deb, I worte you about a week a go and you never responded!
Trying to see where it was sent!!!!!!! Can not find it???
You sure it was me? was i on here a week ago> been in the hospital with my dad for about 4 days now….. trying to stabalize him, but I thought the other day was my first time on here!!!! will look on my email again, dont see it on here!!!!
You can all email Deb In South Florida but she doesn’t respond. I’m not sure why people post emails and don’t respond,seems a bit silly to me.
Sharon of course I will respond, my dad has taken a bad turn with his leukemia, so Ive been running to and from hopsital, plus I work very full time, when I read emails I will respond for sure!!!!!! I still dont see your long email anywhere to me? where did you write it? I only saw the one telling me you wrote one????? I dont sit on the computer all day, but when I read emails to me I will certainly respond!!!!! We all need support after all weve been through!!!! Kindness is very important, between us girls!! So give me time/ a chance to respond, but still looking for your response. Wish I knew where you sent it??????????
It seems to me that you put yourself on their level, sex without love….. isn’t that what a prostitute and a cheater does???
I LOVE YOU!!!! You put it out there like it needs to be!!!! I’m a victim of these types of individuals as well…..but not for long. I’ve already made my plans and none of them involve stooping to their level. God has a good man for me waiting patiently……. One thing for sure….. I WOULD NEVER DO THIS TO SOMEONE I LOVE!!! The problem is, men confuse sex with love and then when they lose the ones they betrayed they act like they’re sorry….. they’re not sorry, they’re only sorry they got caught!
One of my daughters may need surgery and I'm not sure if out insurance wil lcover it all so I have to cont on his insurance.It's a mess to tsay the least. I'm really glad their is a site like this.
I haven't had any encounters with the working girls he sleeps with and wouldn't waste my time calling or googling and posting their numbers like some women do here. I'm too good for that and would rather spend time with my daughters,for me I wouldn't expect anything from them if they had the drive and concern to start a company for us wives they more than likely wouldn't be doing what they're doing because they probably se that energy and man power to get their own lives together FIRST. It's funny how we get tnnell vision as wives ,we talk about them helping men abuse women . They're clearly abused themselves you can't expect to get water from a dry well!I'll keep y'all posted on my status
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Does it really matter if the husband cheats with w paid whore or your best friend? Which would be worse? and how do you know your friend is always clean with STD's? Would it be better to have a husband have a one night stand with a nice little dentist and wear no protection or a whore that does? Does any of it matter with who it is? or does it?
I worked as a stripper first and then fell into prostitution because of the easy fast money,no judgement to other women who do it ever,but I would never recommend it to women if you have a choice. My experience was it took awhile to get out because It made me lazy with the easy fast money plus for me in my experience it was "soul destroying" as I saw someone else use this word on here.It actually is on several levels. I had a hard time with intimacy later in life.
I wasn't abused as a child but really went off track with no guidance in my twenties and one thing just led to another. I did other professions later like Esthetics and Interior design but because of "hard times" fell back into it. I've been clean AKA out for six years now.
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Once a guy called me and the next day after HE invited me to his home off an internet ad.He told me his wife found out and he demanded I talked to her before I could hang up she started foaming at the mouth with all her moral outrage,that I was a whore and her husband was a "really nice guy",also that I (a total stranger) ruined a 30 year married.Then she went on and on about how he now had to go go to his mothers grave site and tell her what he did. REALLY WEIRD. Norman Bates in Psyco came to mind,from as crazy as she sounded I see why he cheats.
Then through out the course of me doing this for a living I had one "friend" who worked as a nurse and fell on hard times so she decided to do it for awhile. She later stopped and must have had some kind of insane covert agression and anger for me about it because she wrote me an anonymous email posing as the wife of a client she said I saw and she was suing me because I gave him herpes then her. That was the weirdest and most bizare when i found out it was her who wrote it to me.
Two different situations but very interesting. The first is what I like to call the as another party on here called it "Jerry Springer mentality" the husband goes to his computer turns it on like a big boy,looks up my ad,calls me,gives me directions to his house ,seeks me out and I'm required to talk to his wife and take responsiblity for ending his 30 years of marriage the next day,all the while I'm the evil doer who tempted him and he's now the "really nice guy" This is like blaming McDonalds for being fat,nobody makes you go in and buy a quarter pounder with cheese!
Look, its illegal activity and you should be put in jail!!! You prostitutes are in it for one thing: MONEY, you have no skills so you sell your body and sex, its kinda sickening to us thats all!!!! You take our money, you make believe you like the men so much, you fake orgasms to make them get off, Your all fake. Why do it anyway?
Men go to prostitutes to be built up emotionally, because these men are sick and damaged from something, they need so much complimenting and being told how good they are, when they are in reality bad men!!! They lie, cheat, steal, and embezzle our family money and use it for what? Then they feel sicker after they do the prostitutes, its terrible and leads to sex addiciton and causes deep problems and issues for the man himself, wife, and kids. My husband got kicked off all sports leagues in our town, it went around like wild fire!!!! Its just sick, esp. when they make believe the prostitutes are loving them but forgetting they are being paid to make them feel like that!!!! Its horrid, you whores ruin everyones lives, you should all be forced to move to reno wher its legal, and stay away from our neighborhoods!!! And our husbands things should fall off!!! Its discusting and disease ridden…..
Didn’t your husband know it’s illegal? Why isn’t he in jail?
Of course he knew , he just pushed all his previous morals and character aside!!!! He hated women of course, prob. hated me due to his neglect by his own mother.. its deep its sick and its very hurtful, we then grieve similar to a death!!!! One time he was at one of the prostitutes home when a neighbor came out and yelled you prositute, dirty whore… and she yelled I called the cops!! My husband was there and took off like a kid, parked down the block and waited it out!! I wish he was arrested but no he wasnt .. who should arrest him? all the cops and officials use the same whores!!!!! its bad, these are not street walkers they are high paid whores who choose to do this, they love their careers!!!!!!
???It sounds like you got a a fucked up life and run with some shaddy folks lady,no offense. You’re the poster child for the Jerry Springer show. You really don’t have to be a whore to be trash! Youre a perfect example!
Youre husband at a whores who happens to be a neighbors of your friends? WTF is wrong with you people? Plus you sound like a bitter toxic bitch from the rest of your posts.
I love that you said it for what it truly is! IT’S ILLEGAL PROSTIES, QUIT TRYING TO JUSTIFY YOUR UGLINESS!!!!
McDonalds may not be responsible for making a person fat but they do have the responsibility in reporting their downfalls, it makes satisfied customers. Perhaps if you notified the wife that her husband was at your demented door, you wouldn’t be met with such hostility. You are just as much a part of this deceit as he is.
You want your husband’s to stay away from hookers? Here is some advice. Lose the baby weight, get your hair done and by some sexy lingerie. Stop nagging, get a babysitter and cook him a nice dinner. For desert put on your lingerie and give him a good f***. Wake him up with a bbbj every now and then. Initiate sex more often. If this doesn’t work file for divorce or get him in treatment for sex addiction. Oh and please stop stalking us “hookers”. We hate to have to change our names every six months because the crazy wives are obsessed with our every move. Oh and believe it or not most hookers pay taxes. Well at least the smart ones do.
I have also been through the lies and cheating and kick myself in the ass for never cheating on my husband. I had the chance several times throughout our 25 years of being together.
My huband always has excuses for his actions and continues to lie and cheat because he knows that I am still here and it adds to the intrigue and adventure!
I am now planning my escape out of this hell hole and will no longer protect him and have already told my children (who are 24, 22 & 19) that their father and I can no longer be together because he has a problem with committment and does not respect our marraige. He's a good dad and always will be but I am not going to pretend like he is a good husband! (He's not!) So I am saving money and planning on moving into my own place in about 3-4 months!
continued…..He does not know my plan and I have no intentions of telling him! A lie for a lie for a lie but my lie won't give him a disease! It may make him question how long I have not loved him but he's done that to me for the past 20 years so it's about time that he feels the pain and hurt and stress of deceit!
So I hope that you can all take something from my experience because it does not end! It delays until the coast is clear and they can begin again. The cheater may have a sex addiction or not feel fulfilled by their spouse/mate but the bottom line is that they chose to gamble away their relationship for a one night stand that not only cost them financially but also physically, emotionally and mentally! You cannot keep up that sort of life and lie when you love and respect your partner!
Good luck and I hope you all get the courage to find your true love… A respectable, honest and real love!
I know I plan on finding it! I haven't given up on love and I am excited about living pain free!~!
Hey all. I’m sorry about the pain and torture it sounds like you’re all going through. But I’d like to present another point of view… and potentially ask for help.
I love my wife. I crave my wife. She is the most beautiful girl I’ve ever met. I’d do and will do anything for her. And she’d do almost anything for me. But she is unable to satisfy me sexually. I want her so bad. I go out of my way to please her when we do make love. I won’t stop until she’s reached her peak twice. And it’s beautiful.
But she can’t do it often. Maybe once or twice every other week. Or less. It’s killing me. Do you know what it’s like to have everything you ve ever wanted in a woman staring you in the face everyday and you’re unable to do anything about it?? It’s torture. And it’s not her fault. She was abused. I just found this out. It’s hard for her to be intimate. But she pushes. Yet sometimes it’s too much for her. On TOP of that she has fibromyalgia and her health issues take even more away from our sex life. She won’t perform certain acts that I’m into. And sometimes she just can’t period. Without going any more graphic there’s some things that are even mild we can’t do together.
I’ve talked to her about. She knows. She wants to. But can’t. So I developed a defense where I just shut myself off sexually. Just try to live as a unic. But then she gets upset because she misses my affections for her.
So I’ve been looking at backpage. Seeing the women on there. Many men are just plain douche bags but I can tell you that most men wouldn’t even CONSIDER going to these women if they were getting what they wanted at home. The profession would almost dissapear. I just have these needs but I’m stuck. I’m stuck in a sexless but love filled marriage. And I’m on the verge of doing something stupid to fill these needs. Icant take this. Either i die inside for the rest of my life or i fulfill my needs but cheat on a wife i love thats been abused and pyschically ill.
I googled men cheating on backpage.com with prostitutes to at least get something to make me see the consequences and this post came up. maybe none of you can help. Maybe I’m providing insight to what the men are going through and that’s all. But I’d really just like… Help.
I’ve spoken to her about this.
I’ve spoken to her about needing my needs met rather… not about looking at women / prostitutes on backpage. I haven’t acted on anything as of yet either.
Oh well, all you 'cheated' souls…maybe you should have given your partner more hot sex. Maybe be the whore in bed most men like to have (or vice-versa, be the hot wanting stud most women like). Romance is all fine but raw ecstatic sex is of same importance. One other little tip (and I can hear most of the complainers complain already): maybe find some fuck buddies where BOTH of you experience the thrill you all lost in your bigamistic and jealously guarded 'property' approach to keep tied together what has lost one of it's most archaic yet most important bonds: desire and sexual fulfillment.
Your a fucking douche bag. Your assuming all the wives writing on this blog are cooker cutting, prude, black and white leave it to beavers walking around with aprons on. Trust me, I was none of the sort. When I was with my husband, I gave him the most nastiest, filthiest performance with enthusiasm I could muster. I still got cheated on. Our sex life dwindled from once a month, to almost a year. Her stopped coming home. He made excuses. He traded in being able to bust it all over my face on a whim for free, for a shiny new snatch he had to pay for. Your advice is so fucking transparent. If your mate is out getting it some place else, theres no amount of so called "hot sex" that is going to keep him around. Plus, you suggest solving the problem by finding a fuck buddy??? Were your drinking when you wrote that? How about getting a divorce, dumping the loser, and finding someone who will respect their mate? Giving in and having a "fuck buddy" is giving on yourself and settling. Your telling these hurt women to just give up. I really hope your not in the business of giving advice. If you are, please for the love of god…quit that job and find a nice burger flipping job thats more on your level. Never never waste good comment box space on a blog ever again.
I'm guessing that is the life style you and "Claire" decided on. If being in an open relationship satisfies you being shackled to boring old Claire and her one vagina, then fuck it. Don't try to push that alternative life on other women here. They are writing to cope with their pain, trying to make sense of things, and heal. If they wanted cheap meaningless cock, they would stay with the pieces of shit that let them down. The last thing the women here need to read is some more bullshit and orders barked to them on how to keep their men happy by an unfaithful douche. These women don't want to be married to it, and they don't want shitty advice from one either.
Its sad and significant that you refer to intimacy as “vagina”. It’s not a meat market, or atleast it shouldnt be.
Yep, was just waiting for dumb ad hominem replies like these. It is obvious that the blog owner replied twice.
I, Claire, wrote the comment, and my husband shares the same opinion.
Has it ever occurred that your attitude might be at fault? The hate you harbor is eating YOU and will make anyone with a kind heart and a rational mind run a mile from you.
We feel sorry for you. You must have been hurt long before you even met the partner who left you. The advice you give me, namely hoping I'm not in the business of giving advice, is pure transference. You should heal yourself first before seeking to ease your pain by association to others.
May peace be with you.
Andrew and Claire
I'm a wife on here that has been hurt but I agree with some of what you say..look at how pissed hurt and angry they are and how they just spew..it's no wonder men run from them. Then theres the nut jobs on here talking about slashing the faces of prositutues and having them raped? Some of these women are beyond hurt,they're weird sick and demented! These are some fuked up folks on here. Seriously my heart breaks for some of these women but some are just weird!
My Husband used the prostitutes from TER, The San Diego List, Craiglist, the Redbook, erotic newspapers, erotic websites and more. Not sure what else, since he lies….he saw them in hotels, in their own places, etc. Spent in our almost 15 years of marriage more than $30,000.00 until I found out a few months ago..also he has been doing this for more than 30 years and things have escalated, of course, he was recently diagnosed with an adiction, there are many husbands out there that are sex addicts, catching them is difficult but as always the truth will come to the surface sooner or later…my husband made one little mistake..we are not sure if we will stay together…or if he will recover, or if I will overcome this…it is painful and I have lots of anger inside me, affected my job and I am not the same anymore. There is love, but the pain and betrayal are there everyday..counseling is an option, but will never recover all the time he put into his addiction instead of putting that time with his wife and family, no moral values or care for me and the kids…hmmmm.
Does anyone have any experience with suing the prostitute? I live in North Carolina.Does alienation of affection apply here? My husband used a whore in Chicago on his business trips there,took her to dinner,shopping ect… I even found the emails this piece of human trash sent him and emails talking about money. These skanks should be put on a Island chained to trees and buried alive. They ruin families.
My husband gave her over $87,000 in a two year period. This was half my money and I want it back! He paid for her schooling.
The disgusting thing is “it” looks like me. I looked “it” up on line and “it” is carey how much “it” looks like me. I called her to tell her I was suing her but “it” keep hanging up on me.
I’m devastated and heart broken. I’m only 34 and he’s 37. He has been kicked out of the house and we’re seperated. I’m taking him to the cleaners but going afer her also! Can anyone give me some tips?
Your anger should be with the responsible party here the scumbag you married. Men are so irresponsible and women should be realizing it more everyday-don’t blame hard up women who are trying to get financially ok for the mens bad behavior.
There’s no excuse for prostitution….. like I had once said, if prostitutes weren’t available men would cheat with themselves…. and I think that is what they truly deserve. Prostitutes aren’t always the one sought out…. in my case they sought out my man in a store… pursued with calls and texts msgs…. either way, they are both responsible. GET A DAMN JOB PROSTITUTES THAT DOESNT DESTROY LIVES!!!!
I’m in the same situation but there’s one thing I don’t understand. The two years my husband has called escorts and saw them out of hotels and out of town I never thought of calling one of them, suing them or getting any kind of revenge. I’m a lawyer too,and this has NEVER crossed my mind.
I have thought to myself “how could they do that, Those poor things, what a sad life”,but never malice or wanting revenge,however since I do believe in cause and effect I do think it’s their responsibility to heal and move forward out of that life at some point and I also believe they shouldn’t be shocked if they fall in love marry and they have a husband who likes to see escorts. I’m not some self righteous battles axe wishing to determine cause and effect for everyone but just giving an example of how we ALL need to look at our lives and every cause and effect we make.
I know this may piss some women off but I think what determines ones wanting to get revenge on the wrong party,and suing them, as opposed to the ones who don’t scream victim , take fiscal responsibility for their well being and move the hell on, is just a basic maturity level. Do these pathetic desperate women even have a pot to piss in to sue them?
I think we need to grow a brain and deal with the real issues which is our marriages and and our cheatingi husbands! When are women going to get this?
The logic behind an intelligent woman blaming a sad pathetic desperate woman at her lowest for her marriage problems and cheating husband is like blaming McDonalds for being fat,some may argue “Well, yes but how dare they make me and my family a casualty,and AGAIN the same response can be given. How dare our husbands make our family a casualty. Nobody can blame McDonalds for your husband making the choice of buying a Quarter pounder with cheese everyday and as a result having a cardiac arrest from clogged arteries. We are all slaves to addictions and temptations,in the end WE control whether we give in. The temptations will always be there.It’ ONLY our husbands who need to get a grip on themselves for their families.
I also notice women do this to keep their husband safe from some of their own anger so they blame the whore. I personally think this is a sad cowardly way of moving on with your life,healing and taking responsibility! It keeps you stuck in victim mode and that is the unhealthiest place to be,it leaves you powerless in your life.
I divorced my husband after two years of this kept forgiving him but the kids 14 and 21 still love him and spend time with him. I never told the kids details of our divorce or why and NEVER trashed him to the kids,because despite his wandering wiener he’s been a great dad to them. It was hard when I was angry but in my situation our sex life had been dead for years. I’m 52 and now realize keeping up all aspects of the marriage are healthy. I’m not saying I deserved tro be cheated on but from my wisdom and life experience men are sexual creatures and think with their penises allot of the times(My therapist even agrees)
They will get it some were else if they’re not getting something at home. This isn’t always the case though,each situation is different….this was my situation and what I took away from it. Thank god he left a amazing imprint as a father who’s children still adore him. I hope this inspires and helps some ladies. Thank you for allowing me to share.
Finally, you are right when you said they think with their penises. Their heart rule over their heads as sexual creatures. I also agree if blame is only on the whore. It’s the cheater’s lying, selfish, irresponsible behaviour that led to affairs. And we, women deserve better treatment. To be loved, respected, cared for and have wonderful life. You have been strong. All the best to you! God bless.
You are assuming that the only cheaters are the ones whose wives have cut them off…… look at the research on this, so not true. The problem lies in the aftermath,….. I’m reading your thoughts on this and no where in this do I see you with a broken heart. Maybe you had already fallen out of love with him, you did say the marriage was already dead. But for those of us who were lied to, stripped of our options, betrayed, and left broken. healing sometimes never comes. I did my research; men who have a wives support after infidelity will heal, the ones who were betrayed often never heal and suffer from trust issues, low self esteem, often left wondering what is wrong with them that the one they loved could do such a thing. The man is teaching, if only subconsciously, to disrespect, lie, be deceitful, inconsiderate, and a whole array of negative characteristics to women; the ones who are the backbones of the family unit. I would not want my daughter to think cheating is acceptable. We don’t want to teach our sons to hurt the women that love them. It’s worse than rape really….. same thing….. we are stripped of options. Our society doesn’t understand what RESPECT is. It’s this; prostitutes, don’t sleep with married me, men, don’t subject your wife and children to such degradation! A real man would let his mate know and let HER decide if she wants to stick around for that or not…… not be a creepy sneak showing such disrespect and disdain for her feelings and how it will affect the family unit.
Contact the city she lives in or the town, the town officials, they will do a sting at her house and watch, if they catch her they prosecute and can take her home away, well thats how it is here anyway, I filed police reports and one sting is taking place now.. I have to see this whore in the supermarket cause my dumb sick husband used one in our town, uggggg
You women would be better off in therapy,leaving your husbands and directing your anger in a more useful way. If your going to spend your time getting back at the whore your husband contacted and beating the shit of your husband,there’s no point in staying and working this out, it’s just unhealthy all across the board.dealing with this ,with violence isn’t any better than what your husbands did.
its the initial shock that gets to the wife!! its deep, shocking and we all wonder how it begins? the first thought to do it, the first time???? wierd you never know how you will react until you experience it!!!
Point! but what are you going to do now, and how long has it been?
This is just a rant board that women who have been hurt and betrayed like yourself run to after googling help when they should be googling a therapist
You need THERAPY with a PROFESSIONAL or energy work,as good as it feels, blaming trashing the whore and your husband here on the internet are temporary pain killers,start healing ,and getting that rage out of your auric field and body because your carrying ALOT!!!
I also do energy work and pick up energy anywere.You’ll get REALLY sick in the fall of 2012 if you don’t start releasing some of this,it’s old toxic stuff.
You have alot of releasing to do,understand so. Don’t waste your time here. You’re not helping eachother stay stuck in vindictive mode and anger,and I’m sorry but this “support group” you’ll be starting will turn into a toxic battle ground were you keep eachother stuck in this life situation that happened to all of you. You’ll keep eachother stuck verifying hurts pains,war stories etc,MOVE ON!!
If you’re with him now, and you’re here on a board venting,filling the comments section for some relief, he’s not doing his part,he’s NOT emotionally available and he’s not in a place were there’s transformation.You shouldn’t have to be here if he was evolved enough to see, and take responsibilty for this. You can’t help him!! This is just UNHEALTHY for you! Tell yourself the truth and leave him! Why are you hanging on?
From what you’ve shared here ,and the little informtion
Leave your husband,and get into therapy and forgive him (at your own pace.) There’s no medium here! Forget writing a book ,there’s a hundred women who have stories more extreme and mind blowing than yours, I hear them daily! Yours isn’t unique! We’d all like to write a book and trust me I could have had my life story as a sex addicted pig abusing women in my dark years sold into a screenplay. I was the number one reviewer on TER! I spent over (my ex wife calculated) $550,000 in seven years on hookers and strip clubs,lap dances ect I healed my life! It took two years to get things some what sane,but I was heavily addicted to cocaine and sex!
I run a therapy group for johns who were sex addicts,and some still are. There’s counselors there,many guys are court ordered but do have the desire for change.I now have a beautiful girlfriend with a sweet daughter who has down syndrome. The blessing of my life these two,but you have to be open and ready to change ,heal and move on in your life!
You have two choices,leave him with the lingering anger and mistrust, it will never work,DEMANDING him what to do next won’t work,he needs the desire,tuck away your penis, and stop demanding! If you can’t trust him, and he’s not willing to change,and your venting on Internet boards,he’s just not stepping up to the late and probably never will! LEAVE him
The only ones taking the true beating are the women who were lied to and cheated on, stripped of money given to pay for strippers and prostitutes…… We really need to learn to protect ourselves… make a stand on what is acceptable and if we don’t like it get the hell out of the situation. There are many agencies available to help us start over…. just do the research.
Give me a break,you bitter women are pathetic! I have to laugh at you uptight Americans,sue sue sue for this sue for that stay a victim stay a victim poor me,talk forever about this kind of shit,no wonder the rest of the world hates you! You’re a country of moraly righteous,hypocits! You also have the most sex crimes ,go figure!
Some of you women on here are so emotionally and spiritually immature! You just don’t get it do you?
When are people going to grow up? If a MARRIED man has an affair or see’s a hooker, then he is the one who is cheating. If a husband loves his wife then he is faithful, if he can be tempted then that is his fault, not the wife nor the hooker. Your husband went off with a hooker, what is hurt, your pride. In a divorce, presumably, a fair division of marital assets would be made, but to sue a hooker is pathetic and sad. You cant force someone to love you, to stay with you, and if you could, would you want to. Have some dignity. The American justice system is a joke.
I suppose you would suggest suing the 15 year old prostitutes who’ve been sold ino that too,you pathetic human being! The white collar pigs who use them and the battle axe wives misdirecting their anger for the temptation their poor hubbies couldn’t resist,seriously you people are pathetic,but thanks or the entertainment on these posts,jesus god I’d rather have my finger nails ripped out than be with some of you spitefull broads.
I am not American and I can see where they’re coming from. If you share assets with your husband, and he goes and spends 87K for your money, and suing him won’t get the money back, you’re damn right they should sue.
Really? Did you just say, and I quote, “YOU’RE A COUNTRY OF MORALLY RIGHTEOUS, HIPOCRITS!”…… That’s the problem right there…… morally righteous would be to do what is right morally…. DON’T LUST! DON’T COMMIT ADULTERY!! As for the prostitutes; they aren’t the ones liable in a law suit… the one giving the money away without their mates permission are the ones liable. HOWEVER, there should be a mandated judicial penalty if caught. At one time this behavior would bring stoning, death. But when there is no penalty to pay for what is morally wrong then the behaviors will continue. I like that you said ultimately the men are responsible, it’s true. We are each responsible for our behaviors.
The worst thing that could happen in a lawsuit is you’d lose. I would choose to believe you would win, however, I believe you’d have to sue your ex-husband because he is the one who gave away your money without your permission. I don’t think she’d be libel.
I Hate to say it ladies… when a man hooks up with an ” Escort, Prostitute, Companion”… If he spends $20 bucks or $2000… Its not that he doesn’t Love his Wife or Girl Friend.. The bottom line Remember this its his ” Ticket to Remove ALL Emotional Obligation” to an woman… Money is the insulation ” The Bond” … Its Seduction, Power, Mental & Intellectual Stimulation its takes him back to when we had his first wet dream.. He wants to Have Sex with an ” Porn Star” .. ” That Fantasy” Sex is an Drug.. Like Crack at its worst… and Number one its all Psychology & and Good Business Plan.. If she has one.. I will say, I was one that was smart.. They were my victims..I was able to go about my daily life as if nothing was going to on from 10pm-4am…. You Tell me Where an profession gets paid $300-5000K for one hour.. Its Crazy but true… Sad.. I myself have other attributes besides this lifes I find it an ” Intellectual High’ …. I’ve done my homework and brainstormed many nights and came up with this. ” In an ideal world, all women would be as affectionate & accommodating as prostitutes are But this isn’t an Ideal world… when it comes to an “regular relationship” many say in my experience men feel as if they must give a great deal to their partner in order to get a little something back….. Selfish Very!!! Bastards.. As if I’m not a woman.. So Having your children and having an foundation is’nt important? Guess Not.. We are like psychologist is a mini skirt.. Cause really.. I’m at aahhh, myself.. Communication is the key to anything to make it successful , and still that work… Power is another attribute; welding Power and keeping someone under him in check… They serve as a ” Slave” to a mans needs. She is an actress although to the man , he does not care that what he is receiving for his money is a one-woman show and which is is the just nothing but an prop in it… Men seek Escorts when they wish to let go and selfishly indulge in his desires with out to give back anything.. The Lack of emotional obligation is one of the most appealing attributes of paying for sex…
I am two days into discovering my partner has been seeing escorts, 2 – 3 days per week. I’m completely devastated of course. I can understand how women talk about revenge on these prostitues, I even had thoughts of going into the brothel armed and letting loose. Being cheated on is the worst feeling anyone could have, and sometimes people go too far and break the law, I was lucky I contained myself. I have been with this guy for 10 years and we have 4 very beautiful children together, we are a very close family, and might be the only thing that will save us. I have caught him out cheating a few times before, 1 night stands after clubbing, but he gave up that life (so he said) to make things better with us, but I think he just got smarter, paying for whores so I don’t get hurt. I am a very sexual person, I enjoy sex and giving him pleasure and get into all sorts of kinky situations, he is very hot, and I would say I’m not too bad either, don’t want to sound up myself, but I am, I know I am. I don’t feel too great about myself now though, first thing I did was go to my local club (by myself how pathetic) and got a few approaches by much younger, hot guys, but I couldn’t go through with it, didn’t matter how drunk I was, just kept thinking of my beautiful children. When I think of leaving him, I use the same reason I have many times before, all men are cheating assholes, if I left him I would probably find a guy who would just cheat on me too (just like every guy I know) – if I get a great guy, I need to trade down, someone who thinks I am too good for them basically, even they would probably cheat if approached, not many guys would turn down sex if the opportunity came up. I think he saw these whores simply because he could, he’s rich, very rich, and that’s spare change for him, so why not. We were having sex every day, giving him oral sex atleast once a week, and we had fun, I think a lot of blokes would do the same as him if they had the money too, men are all just perverted beings. Does anyone think I’m just making excuses? I love my family so much, I don’t want anyone else. I’m planning on going away to Thailand, all by myself, after 4 kids ( all breast fed ) my boobs aren’t the same as what they used to be, I’m taking $4,000 (compensation) for a boob job, bring my confidence back up then return home to see if there is any way we can heal. I believe many couples divorce too easily, without trying. I know he loves me a lot, he feels very depressed and seems genuinely very sorry, I know it will probably happen again, but I have to try. Any suggestions?
First off, it sucks you are going through this. Second, I don’t think a new set up boobs from Thailand is going to fix the problem. I can understand wanting to look better, but I don’t think it woud make a difference what you look like, he cheated with a prostitute because he wanted someone new and different. It has nothing to do with your boobs.
Have you tried talking to him yet?
UNREAL! Ally sweetie you sound young and have ALOT to learn,don’t be so shallow. You DON’T diserve this! Get some counseling and work on yourself.
I’m in the same situation but there’s one thing I don’t understand. The two years my husband has called escorts and saw them out of hotels and out of town I never thought of calling one of them, suing them or getting any kind of revenge. I’m a lawyer too,and this has NEVER crossed my mind.
I have thought to myself “how could they do that, Those poor things, what a sad life”,but never malice or wanting revenge,however since I do believe in cause and effect I do think it’s their responsibility to heal and move forward out of that life at some point and I also believe they shouldn’t be shocked if they fall in love marry and they have a husband who likes to see escorts. I’m not some self righteous battles axe wishing to determine cause and effect for everyone but just giving an example of how we ALL need to look at our lives and every cause and effect we make.
I know this may piss some women off but I think what determines ones wanting to get revenge on the wrong party,and suing them, as opposed to the ones who don’t scream victim , take fiscal responsibility for their well being and move the hell on, is just a basic maturity level. Do these pathetic desperate women even have a pot to piss in to sue them?
I think we need to grow a brain and deal with the real issues which is our marriages and and our cheatingi husbands! When are women going to get this?
The logic behind an intelligent woman blaming a sad pathetic desperate woman at her lowest for her marriage problems and cheating husband is like blaming McDonalds for being fat,some may argue “Well, yes but how dare they make me and my family a casualty,and AGAIN the same response can be given. How dare our husbands make our family a casualty. Nobody can blame McDonalds for your husband making the choice of buying a Quarter pounder with cheese everyday and as a result having a cardiac arrest from clogged arteries. We are all slaves to addictions and temptations,in the end WE control whether we give in. The temptations will always be there.It’ ONLY our husbands who need to get a grip on themselves for their families.
I also notice women do this to keep their husband safe from some of their own anger so they blame the whore. I personally think this is a sad cowardly way of moving on with your life,healing and taking responsibility! It keeps you stuck in victim mode and that is the unhealthiest place to be,it leaves you powerless in your life.
I divorced my husband after two years of this kept forgiving him but the kids 14 and 21 still love him and spend time with him. I never told the kids details of our divorce or why and NEVER trashed him to the kids,because despite his wandering wiener he’s been a great dad to them. It was hard when I was angry but in my situation our sex life had been dead for years. I’m 52 and now realize keeping up all aspects of the marriage are healthy. I’m not saying I deserved tro be cheated on but from my wisdom and life experience men are sexual creatures and think with their penises allot of the times(My therapist even agrees)
They will get it some were else if they’re not getting something at home. This isn’t always the case though,each situation is different….this was my situation and what I took away from it. Thank god he left a amazing imprint as a father who’s children still adore him. I hope this inspires and helps some ladies. Thank you for allowing me to share.
It is not the boob job you need. It’s him who needs to find out what is missing in your marriage and take effort to fill that void. Or discuss together to find out. Don’t be hard on yourself. You had fulfill the duty of a wife, child bearing. He has to fulfil his duty as a husband and keeps his family. It takes 2 hands to clap. God bless.
[…] Update: You may also want to read the follow up post on how to tell if your husband is visiting prostitutes. […]