My post on married men and prostitutes has brought in a significant amount of traffic and feedback. One of the more interesting things that came from the post is hearing stories from women who have caught their husbands cheating on them with prostitutes. So I thought I would write a quick post with tips to see if your husband is seeing a prostitute.
To best catch your husband, it will help to understand how prostitutes work. First off, there are different types of prostitutes. There are your street walkers, your escort agency hookers, the brothel prostitute, and your high-end escorts/companions.
Let’s start with the street walkers. A typical street walker is going to charge between $20 – $100 (typically $30 – $40), and usually perform the act while in a car. Since even scumbag husbands have some level of self-preservation, there is likely to be condoms involved. And that is your first clue. Condom wrappers in the car is an obvious sign that something is up. Also, odd charges on a bank card at a drug store of gas station could be condoms. If you see a charge for gas, and then a separate charge for inside the gas station, you may want to check if they carry condoms, and how much they cost, so that you can compare that to the purchase. Then ask your husband what he bought. If what he says doesn’t match the charge, and the price of a pack of Trojans does, he’s busted.
Moving on to escort agencies, these places take credit cards. Look for any charges for things like “Airport Services”, “Mobile Assistants”, “Hotel Services” or “Massage Service” . And if in doubt, call your credit card company and ask them what type of company made these charges. Believe it or not, the credit card company will sometimes be able to tell if the company is an escort agency.
Also keep in mind the typical charge for an escort agency via credit card is about $300 – $700. If you see a suspicious charge from the same company twice in the same day, that could be an escort agency. Escort agencies charge for having the girl show up to the room. Once there, it’s up to the girl and the client what happens and the cost. They will sometimes hit the card when the girl gets there, and then hit is again for the girls “tip”.
Phone records are also a good indication. If your husband has half a brain, he’s not going to call the agency from his mobile phone, knowing you could see the call. So check with the hotel if any local calls were made from the room.
Brothels are highly unusual, and not likely unless your husband has gone to Nevada, or out of the country. Still, know these places take credit cards as well, and are not as stealthy as the escort agency at hiding the charges. Look for charges of about $500 – $1000.
The independent escort is the more common approach these days. Most advertise on the Web, allowing men to check out the goods through pictures first. These escorts do not usually take credit cards, although some do use Paypal. Usually these are cash transactions. There is a common thought that anyone taking out hundreds of dollars from an ATM after midnight is up to no good. Keep in mind that these girls typically charge around $300, because that’s what men can take out of an ATM at any time. So look for late night withdrawals.
And because these girls are often contacted through the Web, you can often find good evidence through your husbands computer. Check his browser history, and his cache. Search the machine for pictures. Sites like eros-guide.com, or Craigslist.org are the most often paces where guys go shopping for hookers. If your husband is traveling to a different state, check out the local Craigslist for that state on his computer. You should be able to tell if he has clicked the links for the “erotic services” section.
Keep in mind that when confronted, he will of course lie. And when shown 100% proof, he will claim that it was his first and only time. This will be a lie.
Who needs a private investigator when you've got a husband as stupid as mine … who left the slip of paper with the three whores he'd looked up on Craigslist (Phoenix). Heck, he even wrote their names, phone numbers and fees on a nice little slip of paper and tucked it in his wallet for me to find when I went in there to leave a romantic little love note as a surprise for his upcoming trip to China. The surprise was on me when tucking that love note into his wallet, I found his list of fuck buddies. Of course he did his deny and deflect dance when I showed him what I'd found. Then he tore it up. Did I mention I'd already photo copied his little note? Who needs a p.i when I've got myself.
Ann – Sorry to hear about your husband making plans to get a hooker. But let's be honest, were you really going to put a "romantic little love note" into his wallet? 🙂 You caught him, so feel free to admit you were going through his stuff.
And tell your husband just to get a smart phone to keep his numbers.
If our men didn't act like suspicious weirdos we wouldn't have to go through his stuff. When your man disappears with odd explanations for his whereabouts and treats his cell phone like fort Knox, something is up. If there is nothing suspicious then he wouldn't care if you saw his phone numbers.
Amen to that.
I did something even worse! I forgot the condom on my dick, so my wife saw me taking it out in the bathroom! Another time she smelled my dick, and it was smelling of plastic due to the earlier use of condom. But this convinced her that i needed more sexual freedom, so i took her with me on the sex games. I went to a parking lot, and while i was fucking her, a guy approached and he finished masturbating on her ass cheeks! Slowly slowly i made her to like sex orgies so now we visit swinger clubs in Holland to have fun! There is nothing better than to do the sex perversions together as a couple and not behind each other's back. You women have to understand, that Monogamy serves only the women's interests, not men's. Even if we were married to super-models, we would get bored fucking the same person after 50-100 times. We need to change women, but only rich people can have these lives. When u are lower or middle-class, then u cannot afford to change women, it is too much money. So try it with your husband and invite a guy over to the house or some hotel, and make a 3-some. trust me he will love u seeing like this: both wife and hooker in one package! :)))))
I just found a secret email account my husband had since 2006 with hundreds of contacts with escorts. They speak of screenings, referrals, appt times, donations, phone numbers, hotel address'. I confronted him, and he keeps insisting that he was only playing a game to see how far he could get, but never actually met anyone. Explain referrals right? Says that he just chatted with them for a while, then later went back to ask for it. Please tell me there is NO WAY this could be true, and that he's just lying. I have proof, but these manupulations and excuses put 1% of doubt, and I just have to know!
I would say your instincts are probably right. I can understand wanting to give him the benefit of the doubt, but I think it's safe to say that it's highly unlikely that he didn't go through with his plans. And you can certainly cling to the fact that he has used incredibly poor judgement either way. But the fact that he is giving escorts referrals from other escorts… that means he has been with other escorts successfully. He actually would be what is referred to as a "hobbyist".
You may want to check his history for sites like theeroticreview.com, or bigdog.net. Try to see if he visits these sites, or even has a password. Also, look for transaction on ATM machines at around the times you think he would have done this. You're looking for $300 withdrawals. But if you can't find these things, don't let him off the hook. They would just be ore evidence, but I think you know the truth already.
Add to that the fact that he is going to keep up the lie. He knows that you don't believe it, but he wants you to just accept it and move on, thereby giving him permission to do what he wants. The very fact that he is still fighting this, regardless of the overwhelming proof that he has cheated with hookers, just shows what little remorse he has.
In my opinion you should give him one last chance to come clean. Maybe tell him you called one of the "referrals", or even actually do that. If he isn't willing to come clean, I would say there isn't much more to discuss.
And for what it's worth, I'm sorry you were treated with such disrespect. It's hard to find that someone you thought loved and cared about you is so willing to put you at risk for their own selfish wants.
Let me know how things shake out. How many escorts was he communicating with? How long ago? And how did you find his secret email account?
Well I am up at 3am because I am packing and moving into an apartment from my boyfriends house. I was snooping in his email and found a strange email from a woman about meeting up with him. He wrote that he was looking forward to meeting her. So I googled her funny sounding name. I thought it was a salon or something. It was a prostitute.
I confronted him before he left town and he said he was just fooling around on the net. After I researched the site I told him I know that those girls don't make appointments unless you pay and they verify your identity or do that reference thing and he still said it was BS and they responded to him right away. Then he said he just wanted a massage. So I asked why from a whore escort from the net? He still blew it off as nothing.
So he left town for along weekend and I called the whore. She actually talked to me! She at first said she never met with him and that he had cancelled but knew I was calling around–the word was out among the girls! She knew exactly who I was calling about. He must have called them because he knows I won't give up till I get an answer. So she busted him for me. She said its just fantasy stuff and nothing bad and I told her I didn't believe her. I hung up on her.
Here is where I believe God helped me. She called me back!!!!!!!! She felt sorry for me and had been cheated on as well before(imaging that huh?) and she did some calling around to her other whore friends and said he HAS been seeing other girls and I should dump him and he is not worth it. I asked if he was having sex with them and she confirmed it.
I am so upset right now. Throwing up crying packing and moving in about 6 hours.
The only thing that is helping are these posts I am finding.
We were together for over 3 years. You really never know anyone.
Clara, I'm sorry that you're going through this, but I'm happy the posts helped. You're not alone, and you're certainly not at fault for your boyfriend choosing to be an ass. As tough as this is, the hardest part is behind you. Now it's time to go and find someone who really deserves you.
Clara,while it's disturbung and annoying your husband has used a hooker STOP CALLING THE WHORES. They owe you nothing and don't give a crap.Their disturbed screwed up women and there lives couldn't be anyworse if there selling there bodies,remember she's a lost screwed up soul off her path and your husband is the one who went seeking out and called her.She seems to have been allot more empathetic to your feelings than The man who had the loyalty to you was (WOW,IMAGINE THAT,HUH?) The men who have the commitments are the ONLY ones you should be confronting! Plus if anybody was a whore ,your husband was the biggest whore of all for cheating on you AND that was quit rare that she called you back out of this so called compassion for you.
Move on please,he probably has a sex addiction
That is exactly what happened in my situation, I saw this yahoo email address in the cache on my husbands office computer (his office was moving so he brought his laptop home) so I went to yahoo and put it in the address and said forgot password, well there were two test questions, one was the name of your older cousin and the other one was your favorite football team, well I knew both answers after being married for 10 years to my husband and bingo I was in his secret email, and boy did I get a surprise, all these ads my husband put on craigslist offering to be a sugardaddy and offering to pay attractive girl to watch him masturbate. etc etc. He had also answered several (there were 463 emails sent) ads from backstage.com (you can look up prostitutes in any city on this site with profiles and pics) , and I even saw one where he was thanking this girl for a hot time the day before. He's also on sugardaddy.com .
OMG Rebecca…. I was just reading your comments and thought, "hey, I'll see if he has acct's at backstage or sugardaddy…" Well, nothing at backstage but he did have one at sugardaddy!!!! Guess what, he is a broke lawyer too. I would love to email with you if you are interested: puddles at live dot com.
I can really relate to everyone. I discovered a secret yahoo e-mail acct. and found out my husband has extremely wierd fetishes with these prostitutes he's been seeing. He saved 100's of e-mails from the past 6 years describing what he wants to do with these hookers. I was disgusted, shocked, and horrified after finding this out since I never even had a clue. He denied everything, but I had proof from his e-mails when he talked about what time he'll meet them, and negotitating one prostitute from $300 to $150. I have now filed for divorce and I have two kids and he's living in a motel. I feel so bad for my kids, but I deserve someone that's honest and decent.
Yes, the lack of remorse if what bothers me. It seems to be a common theme to claim they just called and didn't do anything. I found cell calls where he was chatting via text message for 20 minutes with a prostitute even thought the pro's ad says she does not accept texts. So what does that mean? Is he a regular she makes an exception for? I also found several late night calls that trace to greek restaurants in Astoria. Greek is his favorite food so is he taking the whores out to dinner? He hasn't taken me out to dinner in 5 years because he claims he's broke. Any time I point out his inconsistencies and the fact that his excuses don't make any logical sense he becomes hostile and screams at me to just get over it. He told me 3 days ago the calls are over with and he is going to focus on his family from now on, then I checked his cell which he keeps oddly leaving in his car and guess what? Another call to a whore. I hate this man.
Don't believe it! I was married 20 years to a man about whom I always had terrible suspicions and ample episodes of suspicions or even some good proof that he'd explain away. I loved him, so I would do my best to believe him. If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, it's a duck!!!! Don't stay, pray you're not right. Trust your instincts. Look up "gaslighting." If he's giving you that many reasons to doubt him, YOU SHOULD. I stayed & had 2 kids with this guy, got herpes from him along with several other stds (which he'd always explain away or blame me for.) I passed the herpes on to both kids. He denied/s everything even when confronted w/proof. I used a gps unit and busted him having sex with major deviant freaks, not just ordinary hookers. He is older and definitely NOT the kind of person anyone would believe would do those things. I listened for years to family and friends blaming ME for my suspicions. It's not your imagination. Don't stick your head in the sand.
I don’t know much about you, but I think I can say with a fair degree of certainty, you can do better than this guy. If you’re really talking about over 100 indiscretions, you’re dealing with someone who has very little respect for you or his marriage.
And if he is emailing prostitutes love letters declaring his love, he is simply pathetic. You deserve better.
I’m sure this is painful, but you do not have the perfect husband. You have someone using you for all the benefits of having a wife, while he screws around with other women, disregarding your feelings and putting you at risk.
And I have to say that I find this guy to be especially bad. It’s one thing for a guy to get a hooker and believe that it has nothing to do with your wife. It’s a rare thing and you have no feelings for the hooker. But to do it and then send love letter expressing your everlasting love… The guy is pathetic. He clearly fantasizes about leaving your for women he feels are more attractive, and he is bound to do so eventually. Do yourself a favor and collect whatever pride you have left and walk out the door. And make sure to take his hooker money in the divorce.
Dear Filthylucre,
Thanks for responding to me (BetrayedSpouse). You can call me Sarah if you like from now on. What makes a man to do the things that my husband did? It never crossed my mind that he would do such a thing. From the very beginning I told him that it is possible that some day he may stop loving me and love somebody else. As long as he is honest with me even though I would not like it it would be much easier to accept. But sleeping with all these women all this time and kept such a secretive and deceitful life on the side. My husband clearly look for something on the side. He acknowledged that. Why? I am very supportive of him. With his work and everything else in his life. He tells me all of his problems and asks for guidance from me all the time. I always thought that we were very close since he always asked my help on everything and did not do much of anything without checking with me. When we tried to have sex most of the time he was not able to. I was even understanding of that. Gradually we stop having sex or had so little of it and it is because I thought he could not do it. Now he says that his lifestyle caused this problem. I am a very attractive woman. He says that and I know that but when I am around him I don't particularly pay attention to how I look. At nights I did not know how to look sexy and did not wear the kind of outfit that he likes to see on the hookers. Because of this he says even though he loved me he did not feel attraction to me and this affected him. He is now telling me all this. I did not know. I know I should have known. He is not blaming me for all this; he is taking full responsibility and he says he wants to change. We started going to AAA type of meetings together. He says he feels remorse and shame. He says he will acknowledge all this to his parents who are religious people and to his friends and siblings. We also started going to church. Next week we have a doctor appointment to see together for his sex addiction which he calls it. What do I do? I have so much invested in this life. Is it ever possible that he can change? What do I need to do to help him. I guess I am thinking if I provided to him the type of sex he looks outside of the home may be this would not happen. I know this is not my fault. Aside from this he is a very good man. He does everything I ask from him. He always has been very caring and loving toward me. He says that he wrote those love letters to this woman because of the fight they had and she was not calling him back and he needed her back to continue having sex. He did not mean any of it, he said. Should I believe that?
Dear Filthylucre,
Thanks for responding to me (BetrayedSpouse). You can call me Sarah if you like from now on. What makes a man to do the things that my husband did? It never crossed my mind that he would do such a thing. From the very beginning I told him that it is possible that some day he may stop loving me and love somebody else. As long as he is honest with me even though I would not like it it would be much easier to accept. But sleeping with all these women all this time and kept such a secretive and deceitful life on the side. My husband clearly look for something on the side. He acknowledged that. Why? I am very supportive of him. With his work and everything else in his life. He tells me all of his problems and asks for guidance from me all the time. I always thought that we were very close since he always asked my help on everything and did not do much of anything without checking with me. When we tried to have sex most of the time he was not able to. I was even understanding of that. Gradually we stop having sex or had so little of it and it is because I thought he could not do it. Now he says that his lifestyle caused this problem. I am a very attractive woman. He says that and I know that but when I am around him I don't particularly pay attention to how I look. At nights I did not know how to look sexy and did not wear the kind of outfit that he likes to see on the hookers. Because of this he says even though he loved me he did not feel attraction to me and this affected him. He is now telling me all this. I did not know. I know I should have known. He is not blaming me for all this; he is taking full responsibility and he says he wants to change. We started going to AAA type of meetings together. He says he feels remorse and shame. He says he will acknowledge all this to his parents who are religious people and to his friends and siblings. We also started going to church. Next week we have a doctor appointment to see together for his sex addiction which he calls it. What do I do? I have so much invested in this life. Is it ever possible that he can change? What do I need to do to help him. I guess I am thinking if I provided to him the type of sex he looks outside of the home may be this would not happen. I know this is not my fault. Aside from this he is a very good man. He does everything I ask from him. He always has been very caring and loving toward me. He says that he wrote those love letters to this woman because of the fight they had and she was not calling him back and he needed her back to continue having sex. He did not mean any of it, he said. Should I believe that?
Dear Filthylucre,
Thanks for responding to me (BetrayedSpouse). You can call me Sarah if you like from now on. What makes a man to do the things that my husband did? It never crossed my mind that he would do such a thing. From the very beginning I told him that it is possible that some day he may stop loving me and love somebody else. As long as he is honest with me even though I would not like it it would be much easier to accept. But sleeping with all these women all this time and kept such a secretive and deceitful life on the side. My husband clearly look for something on the side. He acknowledged that. Why? I am very supportive of him. With his work and everything else in his life. He tells me all of his problems and asks for guidance from me all the time. I always thought that we were very close since he always asked my help on everything and did not do much of anything without checking with me. When we tried to have sex most of the time he was not able to. I was even understanding of that. Gradually we stop having sex or had so little of it and it is because I thought he could not do it. Now he says that his lifestyle caused this problem. I am a very attractive woman. He says that and I know that but when I am around him I don't particularly pay attention to how I look. At nights I did not know how to look sexy and did not wear the kind of outfit that he likes to see on the hookers. Because of this he says even though he loved me he did not feel attraction to me and this affected him. He is now telling me all this. I did not know. I know I should have known. He is not blaming me for all this; he is taking full responsibility and he says he wants to change. We started going to AAA type of meetings together. He says he feels remorse and shame. He says he will acknowledge all this to his parents who are religious people and to his friends and siblings. We also started going to church. Next week we have a doctor appointment to see together for his sex addiction which he calls it. What do I do? I have so much invested in this life. Is it ever possible that he can change? What do I need to do to help him. I guess I am thinking if I provided to him the type of sex he looks outside of the home may be this would not happen. I know this is not my fault. Aside from this he is a very good man. He does everything I ask from him. He always has been very caring and loving toward me. He says that he wrote those love letters to this woman because of the fight they had and she was not calling him back and he needed her back to continue having sex. He did not mean any of it, he said. Should I believe that?
Sarah,
I think at this point your husband will say whatever it takes, and I know that you will believe him. The decision to accept what he says and give your marriage another chance is obviously 100% up to you. But in my opinion, he will do this again.
And I can’t believe that you are taking any part of the blame for this. Even though you say you know it’s not your fault, you’re actually concerned about what you didn’t wear to turn him on. One thing you have to realize is that there is nothing you could have worn, nothing you could have done, and nothing you could have said to stop him from screwing around. Him saying you don’t dress sleazy enough is a joke. He is just trying to give you a reason that he thinks you’ll grab on to. The truth of the matter is, he doesn’t have a good excuse for what he has been doing. He wanted to screw other hot women, and then was too spent or distracted to sleep with you. Trust me, it has nothing to do with the way you dress.
As for why he wrote love letters, his excuse is insane. If you want a hooker to call you back, you simply offer money. No prostitute is interested in having a romantic relationship with a client, especially one they don’t bother to return calls to.
I know you want to believe your husband, and you would like nothing more than this nightmare to be behind you. If that’s what you want, feel free to believe him and be ready for some serious denial in the future. You won’t be the first woman to look the other way on this stuff. But realize that eventually one of these women might just move forward with some sort of long-term relationship, and you may end up in the cold.
Do you have kids? How old are you both?
No we don't have kids. In the past several years we both wanted to have kids. I am 43 yrs old. He is 49 yrs old. Because of my age we had to have sex a lot for me to get pregnant he just could not do it. He now says he feels remorse that his lifestyle caused us not to have the ability to have sex and have a family. Until several weeks ago he was trying to convince me to go to doctor so we can have a child through artificial insemination. But we don't have any problems; our problem was we were not having sex period. When last week he went to the doctor to get checked for HIV and STD he talked to the doctor about having a kid and doctor told him that it is still possible. I can't believe he is still thinking about a child from me.
No we don't have kids. In the past several years we both wanted to have kids. I am 43 yrs old. He is 49 yrs old. Because of my age we had to have sex a lot for me to get pregnant he just could not do it. He now says he feels remorse that his lifestyle caused us not to have the ability to have sex and have a family. Until several weeks ago he was trying to convince me to go to doctor so we can have a child through artificial insemination. But we don't have any problems; our problem was we were not having sex period. When last week he went to the doctor to get checked for HIV and STD he talked to the doctor about having a kid and doctor told him that it is still possible. I can't believe he is still thinking about a child from me.
Very strange indeed, but I think he is just saying things that will make you believe in your relationship.
Did you see pictures of any of the women he was with? Did they look alike, or look like you at all? Any idea how much money he was spending on prostitutes?
Yes. I have been the websites where he picks the women and I even saw the picture of the woman he confessed his love to. Strangely this woman looks a lot like me except that according to both him and the reviews this woman has droopy breasts. I estimated that approx. he spent about $35,000 in those years. Could be more? He keeps telling me now that he is glad this burden is lifted of his heart and wants start all over and he says he believes that our relationship can be even stronger. Is it possible?
I know you want to believe him, but I don't think it's likely that he will stop for long. I'm sure he'll chill out for a short period, but in the end this seems to behavior that he enjoys.
I would like to ask you a question that is more private, email me if you feel comfortable. I may have a suggestion to see if he's on the up and up about this. [email protected]
I know you want to believe him, but I don't think it's likely that he will stop for long. I'm sure he'll chill out for a short period, but in the end this seems to behavior that he enjoys.
I would like to ask you a question that is more private, email me if you feel comfortable. I may have a suggestion to see if he's on the up and up about this. [email protected]
I sent you an email. Can you please respond?
Betrayed spouse, First of all I'm so sorry for your latest discovery. I cheer you on in saying diveorce and leave him,it will take along recovery for him with prostitutes and also to cure his dilusion that any woman using sex as a transaction will NEVER love him or is in it for love! If she's making him believe that than she's a hell of an actress with $$ signs in her eyes!The more he falls for it the wider his pocket book opens and that affects you and the family aswell!
You would really need some time away to get intouch with what your intution and higher power wants you to do,seriously it would be a long hard journey and think of him dipping into your finaces,shared bank accounts to with draw money for his addiction of escorts,think of it as being with a gambler or anyone with a addiction,my prayers go out to you,and I hope your able to leave you deserve the best and someone exclusively yours!!
Continued:
In saw all his correspondences with these girls claiming in almost alll messages that he has a big dick and asked them how big they were used to. He was so busy during work hours that I can see why I am the only one married to a broke lawyer. Your husband is full of it, mine did the same thing I just caught, for the first 5 yrs of marriage straight, I didnt find out until we were married, he used his cell phone for everything at that time so I had so many calls to prostitutes and single chat lines, I thought he had changed.
Continued:
When I confronted him he said that it was just fantasy and he never actually went through with actually meeting them, and then I showed him the one email he sent the girl saying what a hot time they had together, and he said thats the only one, and then I found two more, where he is asking if she had a good time the last time they were together, he said, they just wantched me jack off at my office (he's a lawyer). I have been married 9 yrs nov. and I just read that you can't get spousel support unless you have been married 10 years so I have to figure out how to get to the 10 yr mark.
WOW your husband will not change, he will only hide it better, sex addiction is not curable and you have to be extremely commmitted to stoppping. My husband got prostitutes for the last 10 years and we started going to sex addict anon classes together and separate and he would walk around with his desire chip in his pocket all along cheating, it was just manipulation. What you have to understand is if he has gotten away with it for this long, he is very skilled at being deceitful, and when he is making these promises to you it is hard not believe what he is saying but trust me, he is lying. He will keep his double life.
I caught my husband with 2 prostitute this week. He passed out on zanax and alcohol and had to be hospitalized. I thought he was working late called his cell phone and one of the girls answered and said he was unresponsive, she was scared and had not called 911. By the time I got to his office, there were 5 police cars, a firetruck and a ambulance. He almost died. He is now out of the hospital. He said that he found one of the girls on a web site 2 weeks ago. That she came to his office but that he didn't want to pay. He called her again that night. I forgot to mention that his pants were down when medics arrived. I've told him to fess up but he keeps lying. Do you think this has been going on for years? We've been married 23 years and have sex once a year.jt
Just to be clear; your husband was found with passed out, with two hookers, with his pants down, and he admit to meeting at least one of them off the web before, but he says he's innocent of having sex with hookers?
Not only is he lying, he doesn't think much your intelligence either. They very fact that you're contemplating wether he's telling the truth speaks to how far you're willing to look the other way, and he knows it.
So yes, he is lying, and cheating, and probably doing things much worse than he just got caught doing. I'm sorry for the way he's treating you, but it's time to look at this guy for what he is. If you want to stay with him and accept it, then that's your call. But you have to at least acknowledge to yourself that he is doing these things.
Thanks for confirming what I already knew but did not want to admit. He has rented a truck and is moving his things out today. I just feel so stupid, hurt etc. I'm 51 years old, very attractive and a good person. I keep asking myself if only I'd kept my makeup on till he came home, wore sexing underware, etc… I feel that my whole world has ended. I go from Mad to sad to hurt.
Thank you again for making me acknowledge what he really is.
Annette, you shouldn't feel that you did anything wrong. I know you know that, but you need to really believe it. It's not like he's been with a single woman for these years. He's been paying money for younger, attractive women to have sex with him. He didn't leave you for something real, he just paid money to get something he wanted sexually. It was pathetic. He screwed things up, but your life is still ahead of you.
You should set something up with a therapist to get you through this rough patch. I promise, a year from now you'll be in a much healthier place.
Annette, based on my own experience I would say it has been going on for a lot longer than you think. When I found his cell calls on his phone he told me it was recent, something he just started doing within the last month but when I logged onto his cell carrier's site and downloaded two year's worth of records it was clear this had been going on for years. Although I only have two years worth of records I am convinced it went on even longer because these cell records made me remember things I had forgotten about like when I would get up in the middle of the night and find the bedroom door locked with the computer light shining under the door. And how his cookies where always erased. And how one day he put on a suit to supposedly go to the IRS on his day off. Who does that? Not to mention finding "adultfriendfinder" cookies on the computer since 1997. He always told me that those cookies just showed up when he looked at porn and he never went to that site. Bullcrap. These men IMO have serious character flaws and that doesn't just show up overnight. He has probably been doing this since he has known you. I'm sorry if that is causing you pain dear, it's just the truth. He probably did this to every woman before you too. It's not you, it's HIM.
I'm sorry, but if you've been married and only have sex once a year, I can guarantee that somebody in the marriage is not having sex only 1 time a year.
Did you really expect your husband to have no sexual appetite?
ive been married 33 years, have discovered my husband has been betraying me with hookers for 20 years!!! Im traumatized, This is horrific! I'm hearing all the usual , he had a dark side, an addiction, it wasnt about sex( playing tiddlywinks, were they??) he wants to change, be the husband i deserv,e etc etc. Hes doing all the right things, getting treatment, being attentative, but I cant help feeling hes only stopped because he was exposed. He never stopped for me in 2 decades!!!
I'm shattered, I'm 61, What kind of life can I look forward to? My marriage and memories are bogus. . I feel as if I've stepped into someone elses life – and i want mine back!!! But my life never was, didnt exist, was an allusion. My pain and anger is intense, I cant bear living with this knowledge.
This is the horror he has inflicted with his whoring! He never felt shame or guilt. He justified his foul behaviour by kidding himself that it was "seperate" and nothing to do with me !!!!!
First off, I'm sorry to hear that you're going through this. Obviously dealing with a 20 year long betrayal is beyond difficult.
But I do have to say that he's not being totally dishonest when he tells you that it's separate from his life with you. If he was snorting coke for 20 years, you would believe that. To him, it's the same thing. It's not that he thinks it's a good thing, or fair to you. He just views it as something he's doing, not doing to you.
This doesn't mean you have to forgive him, but you can certainly go on knowing that you have nothing to forgive yourself for. He did this for his own reasons, and they have nothing to do with you.
And you memories are not bogus, you can look back on your marriage as real. You just didn't know him as well as you thought.
Are you in counseling together?
Thanks for your sensible and calm response ( I wanted outrage on my behalf!!!) but calm is good. calm is what I need, I want to live in the 'Land of calm"!
My husband is being treated by a Doc that specialises in this kind of "behaviour" and he is having to face the real damage he has done, to us, to me & to himself.
I know it "had nothing to do with me", But I wish the x rated movies would stop playing in my head.
My head tells me I was in no way to blame etc, but my heart is shattered into millions of pieces – I loved him. I trusted him. I feel he took my love & our marriage and flushed away down the toilet over and over again. But your right. he didnt really think like that. What a shock it has been to acknowledge that I never really knew the man I have loved for 33 years.
I'm in a "wait and see" state right now. I'm seeing this( usually unemotional ) man in tears, begging me to let him be the man he should've been for all those wasted years. He will do anything for me. So I think I'll go along for the ride, and see where it takes me.
Oh, & yes we are in councelling. not sure if its doing any good…..but cant do any harm.
Again thank you, I'm really touched that people can reach out to someone they dont know and take the time to make a difference. I feel better.
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Jan, I'm so happy you're feeling better. It sounds like you're both doing what needs to be done. Can you do everyone a favor and let everyone know how things are going? I think other women would benefit from seeing how you work through this.
It takes a lot of strength to move forward with this man. And I'm sure that it's not going to be much fun for a while. But hopefully the good will outweigh the bad. Good luck.
JanB can I email you? I am going through the same thing and I would love to chat. I am so lonely and hurt and have no one to turn to. I just found this out a week ago and I am an emotional wreck over it. I feel like a complete crazy person. One minute I block it out of my mind, next minute I feel like I want to hit him, next minute I am crying for no reason, drinking too much, thinking about suicide ect. I don't know how much more I can take.
I read this and had to respond. I'm so sorry you've had to deal with this. All of your feelings are normal. I just wanted to say that you are not the one who lived a lie. All of your memories are real- because you were honest and your feelings were real. Your life had integrity (all parts integrated) and his did not. Take pride in this. Even your feelings of betrayal right now are real and have integrity. I wish you strength in this time and a healing journey from here.
hi i recently busted my boyfriend of four years was seeing escorts, i don't know for how long and when at all it may have started. I must admit that we did separate for sometime during these four years and reconciled about 6 months ago. I started to get a hunch regarding his behavior and certain things he would do which led to my alarm bells ringing. I then tried to let things play themselves out and hoped the truth will come out on its own. He never gave me any reason to doubt him and its not like the phone would ring at weird times or any other suspicious behavior just that i could tell by his actions…he always told me he loved me and always was affectionate.
Prior to our separation he had a fetish for latex and always tried to get me into it but i always felt insecure as to why we couldn't just have sex without all that. I didn't understand at the time but have tried to in the last few months and recently we tried to have sex and he became impotent and couldn't keep it up..i questioned what was wrong what was going on with his head he said stressed and tiredness so i let it slide. Though with the hunch i had i went through his computer and found the password to am email account i have never seen before and saw he had written an email requesting the availability of two escorts in particular approximately 30 minutes after i left to go and visit my parents. When i confronted him i asked him to tell the truth and he made up a story about it being organised for a friends bucks party..mind you i had no knowledge of this friend being engaged… Anyways after this big reveal he seemed to have shown no remorse he only said sorry but it wasn't as though he wanted to work things out…he just told me that i deserved better than him and he was so sorry and that he felt so bad for the pain he caused me….please help this man is like my loser love -the one that seems to be able to do anything and you'll still love them- I know this is eating at me and i haven't actually seen him since i left we did all of this on the phone. I haven't slept for 3 nights now and have surely lost a dress size…i don't know what to do please someone tell me if i should continue..? personally i don't believe i should and he told me it was just for sex and that it started as a result of us breaking-up…..please help this is all so fresh and im so hurt and disgusted by the whole thing…
Evelyn,
Sometimes people are just sexually incompatible. It sounds like this guy is into some things that you're not. There is nothing wrong with that. Hell, if this guy is into latex and three-ways with hookers, I would say you're comparably very healthy.
I'm going to guess that you're an attractive woman in her mid-twenties. You're boyfriend is probably slightly older. If I'm right, then here is my advice…dump his ass. Most of the women posting here are women who have been betrayed by a trusted spouse. They would have loved to had the early warning you just got.
I know it's painful, but don't focus on that. Focus on the excitement of new possibilities. Enjoy the fact that you have a world of opportunity to meet the right person. Someone who doesn't need to lie to you so that he can get his rocks off. You deserve better, and you damn well know you can get it. Dump the luggage, change your Facebook status and let the wave of attention (that you deserve) begin.
Hi evelyn, I am thinking about starting a message board for women like us so we can get more in depth about this and help each other through the trauma of it all. What do you think? Should I do it? Proboards are free and you can all create throw away email addresses to keep yourselves private. It will be sort of like a support group, do you guys have any interest?
Thankyou so much…and yes your spot on in am a very attractive girl which is one of the reasons he fell for me, i have no problem meeting men at all just that i'm stupidly drawn to this one.. and yes he is roughly 10 years my senior…i know i deserve better it the letting go that's the hardest part especially after we just reconciled.. i feel so used by this man…i absolutely did everything for him all just to be betrayed..but much like you said i should look forward to the new possibilities with someone who will truly care for me and respect me as a person and as a partner…in all honesty much like all the assholes who do this he seemed to have been only concerned with me rapping out his name to his family and friends about his dark side incase it may ruin his career…i don't even think he was truly sorry only that he got caught…As much as i will try and move on the problem i have is that i still love him so much and have always done so its so hard to just say "OFF" and to make matters worse i really don't think i can trust another man again…i simply feel as though they all carry these deep set secrets and its only when their busted that any of their unsuspecting partners find out…thanks again i knew but i think i needed an outsider to look in to see if this was worth trying to salvage…and obviously not.
I just caught my husband and i feel the way you feel but I am confused I have been married for 12 years 3 children beautiful and i am not sooo ugly I dont know my life is not here anymore.
EMail me
Evelyn,
I'm glad you see this guy for what he is. And I love being right! I know moving on is easier said than done, but try this; mark your calendar for 2 weeks for now, and see how you feel then. I'm sure you'll be beyond this guy by then, or at least feeling much better.
One thing I have to ask. Are you Australian or British? No one in the U.S. uses terms like "bucks party" or "rapping out his name".
heheheee…yes im australian…and im not sure what you guys call it but a backs party is like the male version of a hens night…i think what you said is a very good idea…i'd much rather do my head in as a single person with only myself to worry about than to carry someone else's flaws upon myself…thanks again for your help much appreciated..
Glad I found this site…the stories are certainly familiar. I've been married 11 years, and am now kicking myself for ignoring the danger signals back when we were dating. That's when I found the phone sex line charges on his bill. He talked his way out of that one…"I was just curious. I never followed up." About a year after we were married, I stumbled upon letters from several escorts. He was totally gone on one of the ladies, and she knew a cash cow when she saw one. He appeared to have stopped right before our official engagement, not that it made me feel any better. We went to counseling and eventually reconciled. Still, he was never quite happy with my body, my lingerie, my personal grooming (you know what I mean). Sex became mechanical, infrequent and then disappeared entirely. We seemed to be drifting apart, but not so far apart that we could do the deed. So yeah, he's at it again. I got into his email and he's been seeing pros (300-600/hr) since at least last year. I now realize it is his identity, and it's never really going to stop. I'm just steeling myself to go through the trauma of divorce. Believe it or not, I still love him. I think he loves me, but not enough to stop seeing escorts.
What's his family situation? That will tell you a lot. My partner's family is totally dysfunctional. His mother is a neurotic control freak and his father was a total narcissist with a gambling problem. I'm not a psychiatrist but from what I can gather it's some kind of impulse control problem that stems from childhood. I pity him because I think he is mentally ill. I don't know whether he is a narcissist, a sociopath or bipolar but something is definitely wrong with him. These men are the problem not YOU.
Thanks for your reply, jenn. His mother is a control freak, a woman who proudly tells people that she's been diagnosed as OCD with anxiety disorder. Things have to be done her way or she drains every bit of enjoyment out of them. No wonder my husband's father travels extensively for work, even though he could have a job that keeps him near home. I've found more evidence…a LOT more evidence, and am kicking myself for not having the courage to confront him.
That sounds exactly like my partner. You seem to have the mold down pat.
Maya, I'm going through pretty much the same stuff as you… your last sentence really resonates with me. I feel as sad for you as i do for the passing of my now-illusory life. I hope you're holding up fine.
Its ironic… I'm a dreamer, and my ultra-practical husband's always hated that. and now the only way i can continue is by choosing to live in a dream world and pretend the other stuff hasn't/won't happen…… because he really does love me. And by listening to my brain (though its so so so hard) when it says sex is just like eating peanuts or something equally unimportant, for men. They dont equate it with sharing the most personal intimate part of themselves, showing they love someone with that act.
Hi, right now I am still in shock and numb from finding out my husband saw an escort at his hotel (he travels for the railroad) week gone, then a week home. I checked the phone records and it all fell into place. He lied and told me he loaned his phone to someone. I wanted to believe that so bad but i knew it was a lie. I called the number and the hooker actually told me about the encounter and said she supports her 5 kids this way but she didn't mean to be a homewrecker. She told me how nervous my husband was and what they did ( a little BJ and doggie style and it lasted about 5 minutes) and he asked to take a couple of pictures of her to "show his friends". He gave her two hundred dollars for her little visit she said. I even found her pictures on her web site. A mexican with tattoos all over her and you can even see the strech marks on her stomach. I'm sick about this.
I don't think I can ever accept this. I hate a divorce after 25 years but I just don't think I can live with this. After I confronted him he admitted the truth and begged for forgivness and and all the other crap that goes along with getting caught. He will be home tomorrow and I don't know what to say to him. I can't believe this has happened. I think I will puke if he tries to ever touch me again. I am a very attractive woman and this skank he saw was pure cheap looking trash. Do I have to go out and get laid to feel like I am getting revenge? her number on google is 713-259-5363. This was in Beaumont, Tx. but she goes all over North and east tx.
Sandy, sorry to hear about your husband. Obviously he screwed up. Have you actually confronted him yet?
(You said) "So check with the hotel if any local calls were made from the room. "
Do you really think the staff at the hotel will tell you that, if you just call and ask them?
You should should be able to get an itemized copy of the bill if you know the credit card it was booked under. Either tell the hotel that you’re with the company paying for the hotel, or have a man call and say he’s your husband and wants to review the bill for errors.
thank you
Look Sandy Your husband was the one who cheated. Post his number up here and direct your anger to the proper source! He went calling her.Prostitutes are sad women in sad situations and in many case already victims. She wasn't a homeworker nor did she ruin your marriage.He was the home wrecker.You're a bitch for putting her number up. The woman could have easily just told you to fuk yourself but gave you information to give you some ammunition on what to do next with him. Whats the point in trashing her? Then she opens up and shares details of her sad life with a viper like yourself who uses it against her? Her life couldn't be any worse. She gave you more information than your so called "loyal" husband did and she's the one getting punished? That's logical! Ironically enough in my career I have helped women sold into prostitution,many of them are slaves to that. Calling them trash and filth is a big mistake! You're being vindictive to the wrong person!
My story is five years ago find out My husband cheated with escorts too but I never directed my vengeance on them or even bothered calling them GROW up and GROW a brain! I now help women in these situations and will tell you your acting like a three year old. Then you trash her looks? Men who see escorts are only after one thing. You have the mentality that you need to even compare yourself to someone your husband contacted and used for sex? This has nothing to do with your looks or you at all! Wake up and get a grip and don't for one second ask me how I would like it. I was dealing with a sex addicted husband for years so I'm giving you pearls of wisdom,take them!
Trudy, chill out. There is no reason to get on her case. Let the woman vent about her husband if she wants.
Also, since the hooker lists her own number on websites, I doubt she’s that concerned about it being anywhere else online.
I called too but not to trash the person, I called to ask whether my man actually went through with it or whether he punked out like he claims. I have no anger at the prostitutes at all because they don't care about him at all and only want his money. What really angers me is the lying and psychological games. I suspect this has been going on for ten years because after I caught the prostitutes on the cell phone I began to think and remembered little things here and there that happened over the years that I blew off because he always had explanations. I remember once back about 9 years, I dropped change in his car and reached under the seat to get it only to pull out some hard core porn magazine I never heard of that featured trannys. He told me a friend at work gave it to him as a gag. I couldn't image him being into that at the time so I accepted that explanation. Another time I found latex condoms in the car that he claimed t were for ME. But I am allergic to latex and when I pointed that out he started a huge fight claiming I was selfish for being mad at him for buying the wrong kind. He actually had me apologising to him! My trust is so destroyed I feel sick to my stomach, I honestly don't think I can ever trust a man again. I will always be paranoid looking for signs and thinking he's up to no good every time he leaves the house. This is the damage that is done to me and I hate him for it. If he would fess up at least I could respect him for being honest, but no the lying parade continues.
Listen TrudyKay, the FN whore's phone number is posted all over the internet. Just put it in Google and all her filthy ugly pictures comes up and she even calls herself a slut! So you can stick your "viper" up your ass. How dare you come down on me , I am sure not defending my husband, I have already kicked his ass out and I'm going to take him to the cleaners in the divorce. I almost want to thank the skank, she is the reason I'm getting rid of the jerk. My pride was hurt at first but now I'm just glad to be rid of him. So keep defending the poor pitiful abused sad whores. They could get their lazy asses a real job but hooking is all they have enough sense to do.
Listen here Sandra if there weren't FN whore husbands like ours who call them and seek them out they'd have to get real jobs now wouldn't they ?so you do the honors of sticking the viper up your ass since you'll need it now more than me. How dare I come down on you? I'm giving you pearls of wisdom and some clarity Tinkerbell from a sage who knows whats she's talking about so bend over and take it.You can thank me when you stop foaming at the mouth and work out all those anger issues! You don't need to thank the Skank for anything since your husband would have cheated with anyone and if a whore wasn't available he would have banged a free one at a bar you could have possibly thanked a million women so …in reality it has nothing to do with this particular Skank…you should just thank god for showing you your husbands cheating ways!
and understand this ….I've seen hundreds of women sold into the sex slave trade and not by choice and ignorant souls like yourself who make these judgments thinking it's just that simple to get a "real job" so enough with your puritanical bullshit and judgment AGAIN your husband is the biggest whore of all!! SO WAS MINE!!
You know what,,,You are just looking for someone to fight with and I have enough on my mind right now without your fanatical rantings. Please don't respond to this, I am NOT interested in anything you have to say. You are NUTS!!!
Sandy – I agree with you. This may be horrible to say, but I think we see why TrudyKay’s husband was unhappy. Imagine living with this woman!
I've got one for you. I have a three children ages 5 and younger. I have documentation that he has been seeing prostitutes since a month after the 2 yo was born. He was chatting with a woman in russian running up credit card bills since before the 5 yo was born. After maxing out one of our cards I confronted him and he stopped putting charges on the cards. He just started embezelling money out of his business, first sending us into personal bankruptcy then loosing his business on top of it all. He has no idea I know all this and he is in the Army now. He just competed basic training and I am so afraid he will quit when he figures out that I am not going to be his ideal wife. That I am going to divorce him. I have been a stay at home mom for the past 2 years and I am having a hard time finding a job to pay for health insurance for me and the kids if he does quit. Because the kids can stay on his insurance if he stays in the Army. Btw his father did this same thing to his mother.
That really sucks. I’m glad to hear you’re standing up for yourself and not letting him get away with all this. It’s bad enough to cheat with hookers, but even worse to drive your family broke for it.
When you say a woman in Russia, do you mean a Russian women here, or is he actually going to see prostitutes in Russia?
I can definitely relate. I found out my husband was seeing prostitutes for atleast 6 years and we've been married for 15 years. We will have to file for Bankruptcy because he was spending hundreds of dollars on prostitutes. I just filed for divorce this week and we have a 13 year old and 6 year old. I have not worked full time in 13 years, so I am going to really have to struggle to make ends meet, so I can sympathize. I know it's hard right now, but in time, things will get easier. I don't think I could ever sleep with my husband again for cheating on me for so many years. Good luck to you.
When My bf was sleeping his cell phone rang, I picked it up and the person hung up. It's was a NYC number, he doesn't know anyone in NYC so I called the number back and it was a woman. I thought affrair and my heart sunk. Then I plowed through his cell phone and found dozens of unrecognizable phone numbers that I looked up on Zabasearch and found they were all cell numbers. So I googled the numbers and they led me to escort and transsexual prostitute ads. I confronted him and he went bezerk about me invading his "privacy" and told me it was none of my effing business and that he didn't do anything wrong. He is claiming he only called the numbers but didn't do anything, that he only talked to these freaks to get a cheap thrill and that I should be glad that's all he did. I don't buy it all. He's not using credit cards so I can't bust him on that and I don't have access to his bank records because I am not married to him so what recourse do I have? How can I get to the bottom of this? With no proof he actually went through with it he has the upper hand and keeps trying to make ME feel guilty for accusing him of wrong doing. If I had the financial resources I would leave him but I do not. I am disabled and dependent so I am in a very bad place. Quite frankly, the stress of this whole situation is pushing me to suicide. We have been together for 20 years and I leave I walk away with nothing but the clothes on my back and head directly into a life of homelessness. He knows this and I feel he will keep doing whatever he wants because he has no respect for me and knows I don't have other options.
Jenn,read my post below lets torture the prsotitutes. WIVES AGAINST PROSTITUTES
PLEASE DO NOT HURT YOURSELF. HE IS truely the messed up one-not you. If you have faith God will show you a way out. Seek a caring pastor or counselor and just take care of YOU. No man is worth suicide… I know I am being verbally and emotionally abused but fear homeslessness too. i now have learned to journal, to walk away from my partners lies. I know there is a loving God. Go and find a safe haven. Be good ato yourself. He does what my partner does. I have a two year old baby with a greedy man who refuses to marry me becuse of his extreme selfishness and greed. These men always get their own one day. I know I am not to blame for his crazyness and meanness. i just love my baby and am now seeking counseling because I too have let him make me feel real bad. My heart goes out to you. God Bless You. A friend
if it walks like a duck and talks like a duck….. it’s a duck. wise up, you already have the proof, this aspect of transition for you is called DENIAL! GET RID OF HIM!!!
Betrayed I feel your pain. I spent 2 decades of my life with my man and for what? The last 14 of which were sexless because he claimed he was impotent. I lived like a nun all this time while he was picking up whores off craigslist, backpage and various escort sites. I logged into his email account and found acceptance email for XXX web cam this and that and escort sites and then I found cell records that showed hundreds of calls to prostitutes, strip clubs, peeps shows and restaurants I have never been to. One really strange thing is that his cell records show him calling his own number and staying on the phone for ten minutes. Why would he call himself? What's the scam here ladies? Also, have any of you gotten the whores to admit what he did? As long as my only proof is cell records he just keeps claiming all he did was make phone calls and I can't prove otherwise so as usual he has the upper hand. How can I get actual proof of sex so I can confront him and make him confess? I feel I am owed the truth, it's insulting to be lied to like I am stupid.
This is crazy ladies
I just found out a month ago my husband has a regular whore for the past two years named Alex. I found her posts all over,now I know her real name. I want to kill her and rip her hair out. I called her and tracked her cell phone number down to her address,all I wanted was information about my husband and what he did with her. She won't gve me anything and has filed a restraning order on my. I went to her home and followed her to her school she is a UCLA student full time and moon lights as a trashy filthy slut whose face I would love to smash in with a tire iron. I can't believe she blew me off when all I wanted was answers. I had to see her face to face and that was a mistake because since then all I've done is obsesss about her and what she did with my husband. I'm 57 and about 40 lbs over weight. She's a 32 year old whore with a beautiful body and fake boobs with long red hair. My husband has always loves redheads.
Do what I did… write a review from YOUR point of view on this homewrecker, contact her family and let them know who or what she really is and expose her world like she destroyed yours. GET RID OF HIM…. BUT DIE HIS HAIR RED FIRST AFTER YOU’VE STRAPPED HIM TO THE BED! Tell him it’s your fetish!
Vengenace has haunted me and I'm thinking of having someone slice her face and rape her.She's a whore so you can't rape a whore right? She's use to it I'm sure. Please give me some insight if this would be logical and okay to even the score. If she was some ugly crack whore skank I would feel sorry for her but she's not she is intelligent enough to keep her trashy legs closed to married men. Trudy FU. I will kill her and I don't care. I could spend hours torturing her and watching her suffer terrible pain
get your head examined you psyco!!
he isnt worth it, but i know what you mean about wanting to slice and dice the slut. My husband has been frequenting escort, lesbian and other porn sites for goodness knows how long. I can't prove anything but i am pretty sure he has been there and done that. He has business phone and computer making it hard for me to find evidence. I saw cookies that curled my hair and one for ccbill – DUH wonder what that could be for. I want to punch him out. But, I try to restrain myself from that. It makes you feel pretty betrayed especially since being a mature woman, married 20 years and finding your spouse looks at barely legal sites—-cannot physically compete with that. What is wrong with men?????F–kin up their lives and family's lives?? Personally, when I get the evidence I need, I am getting away from him because he is such a source of pain for me.
Hey guys—she hasn't done anything (yet), she is venting because she has been deeply hurt. As long as she vents in writing, it helps her deal with the terrible situation which her whore husband has bestowed upon her. Maggie—-go out and do something nice for yourself—join a gym, work out and lose the 40 lbs. and get Botox—maybe you will feel better about yourself. As for your hubby and his friend, forget them. Seek therapy and move forward.
The point is Maggies isn't any better in gods eyes or any moraly better in the end if she wishes rape and torture on already disturbed suffering women!. I'm appauld at how sick some of the people on this board are. My husband went to strip clubs for years and saw one or two women at abrothel in Las Vegas but he's been long gone for awile,seriouslythis is just sick! Most of those women were probably already raped and tortured as little girls. Maggie muder is not less evil than prostitution!!! You should be taken off the streets just like street walkers. You even impose a more dangerosu threat!
Who here wants to start a support group to harrass whores/Prostitutes etc? Wives against Hookers who spread their filthy little legs to pleasure our husbands. Tell your revenge fantasy about thwe whore
Lets start a support group for wackos like you…SICKO! You give grounded stable wives who are trying to deal with this in a healthy constrctive way a bad name!
The most beneficial for all to deal with this is moving forward and finding a clear path out of a victim role!
Wouldnt it be better to pursue legislative repercussion for these people breaking the law? Or maybe have groups that seek them out and lead them out of their ugly behaviors? Otherwise, just stone them like in the old days… make an example out of them, as well as the men involved. Frankly, the world is evil, and they are a big reason why. Men who behave in this manner are in the same boat.
How else canI get back at her. I don't want to end up in jail but the fabtasies are off the charts!
Maggie, first you have to chill out a bit. No one doubts that you’re upset, but I think your anger should be more at your husband. If it wasn’t this girl, it would have been someone else. Harming this woman will not make your husband less of a pig.
Now if you wanted to hurt a prostitute, you should focus on their income. Many men, maybe even your husband, check reviews for prostitutes at websites like TheEroticReview.Net, or BigDoggie. If you look for “escort reviews” in Google, you’ll find a few places to check out. If you’re husband, or any other person, had a bad experience with an escort, then this would be the place to post that info. A few bad reviews can drive an escort out of business. Obviously you want to make sure these are not false reviews. Just encourage people who have had a bad experience with the woman to post their review on the websites.
I saw some of your earlier posts Ed….. you are a future cheater for sure.
Okay you're right Ed. My husband called her and is a pig! He's no longer living with me and I'm thinking of a divorce but what is her part in this? Isn't she just as guilty? Wjy should she have a normal life now after having my husbands dick in her? I followed her one day. She just goes about a normal life and takes classes at UCLA,goes and picks up dry cleaning,goes to a yoga class etc… do people n her life know she was "a part" of ruining a life? I will have someone write some reviews of her and how do you feel about me contacting her family and friwends and telling them she does this to make ends meet? I would do it like a concerned friend,after all isn't she puttig her life in jeapardy? Let me know what you think. Thank you for your honestly.
I don’t think contacting people in her life is really going to make you feel any better. Right now you have done nothing to be ashamed of; why not keep it that way? The high road is lonely, but it feels better in the end. Hopefully you can at least take your husband to the cleaners.
I hope I didn't appear crazy. I'm just so jealous and angry I'm having a hard time dealing with this. Perhaps she doesn't deserve all this back lash and I regret seeing her
yes you appeared like a serial killer you nut case!
Maggie, I’m so sorry your having a hard time with this. I think Ed has given Ed has said some profound things. Don’t do anything that can get you in trouble really she’s not worth it
Sandy,Maggie and Jen I feel your pain,boy do I feel it! and every bit of it!
Maggie I agree with the advice here for you. I'm so sorry .my husband has been seeing hookers on and off for two years. I went through a phase the first time were I left two messages on her voice mail calling her everything but a woman of god. I was so hurt too and wanted so bad to keep the marriage going she was the easiest target but then it hit me like Ed said. She was a one of many and calling her every name or judging her life style c hoice wasn't going to make me feel better or my husband less of a sex addicted pig.
I'm now going through the divorce after finding him in the sheets with a hooker in our bed. I'm not kidding. Over the past two years he also had a "regular" affair with a dentist so she was a educated whore.Really in my opinion being a woman whose husband has slept with many woman I'm not sure it makes much differance if she's a hooker or a secretary but if one in my opinion has to chose between the two less evils
I found the hooker in the end to be less painful to deal with because she was a transation and the dentist had a deep love and emotional afair with him. This is just all my own realizations from my experience.
Two months ago I walked in on the pig and the hooker flew out of bed. I screamed at him and I had a feeling she was a prostitute by this time I was SO DONE on every level with this and was emotinaly and spiritualy spent. I asked her if she was a prostitute,she said yes, I asked her if she got paid,she said yes and I said get your clothes on and get the fuck out of here now! and she was gone and twenty miuntes later so was my husband with a suitcase full of clothes! I will never let him or any other man put me through those changes and losing it ,don't let his crazy disfuntional behavior take yu there and make you less than the fabulous woman you are.
Comparing yourselves to men makes no sense. You say if the situation was reversed what would they do… but most women don't have the sexual urge/lust that men do, even if you cheat on your husband how many guys have you cheated on him with, 2 or 3 at most? While it's not uncommon to see guys cheat with 10-20 or more of different woman.
Because when YOU do it you actually develop feelings for the guys you're cheating with, you don't just have sex with anyone that looks good, while for men the whores mean nothing, they just have sex with them because they look good. So it's not fair to compare woman cheating vs men cheating. A man SHOULD be more pissed off if you cheat on him because he knows you only screw people you actually like, while men will do anyone, even if they hate them, as long as they look good.
Jeff, I’m not sure why you would post this. Regardless of the urges a man has, the impact to the spouse of someone cheating is the same. It leaves the other person feeling that they are unworthy in someway. And the lies that come with the cheating are not any less severe simply because guys get horny.
I agree that guys cheat for different reasons. And I even agree with you that when women cheat it is much more about the relationship. When guys cheat, it’s often just because they have an urge to, or they have the opportunity. And hopefully sharing this with these women will help take away some of the sting. But to suggest men as less accountable for their actions is just wrong.
My husband has been seeing prostitutes for at least 2 years. We were supposed to be working things out and blah blah blah, but I recently found out he has had one in OUR HOME the day after my birthday. We have a 5 year old daughter and he brought a, clearly not all there, woman into our house. I've even seen the emails and texts he sends claiming he doesn't like to use his credit card and asking these ladies if they do rim jobs and coming in the mouth (of course they do, they're whores)
I want to get revenge and revenge I will have. He is an immigrant and looking to get citizenship. Good luck with that . Can I legally post his name and number on here? I would LOVE to.
Reading these stories makes me laugh and cry. I was just put the dam ringer by my husband with these whores. I like Maggie knew of one he had seen. You can't believe the shit I unraveled.I live in North Carolina and can sue for alienation of affection so I tried to sue the prostitute. I'm telling you some of these women are so frikkin bizarre. This one had some kind of moral marriage code.
I found out my husband had seen one here in our city off and on for six months. He saw her three times witin that period.He invited her into our home all three times in OUR bed also,after he admitted he had seen her. I hired a PI and he found out who she was. I was filing for divorce at this point also. My husband apologized and wanted to work it out.So I dropped that but still wanted blood fom the whore so I began to sue her for alienation of affection. She jumped right on this and her lawyer slammed my attorney with tons of emails sent from our computer and his email account that he wasn't married and his wife died of cancer three years ago…THAT SON OF A BITCH! She also supplied my attorney with printed out texts with him telling her "Don't worry this is my house and no other women live here anymore" The reason for these comments was in the emails above she had asked him "If you want me to see you at your house ,you can't be married or have a girlfriend. I feel like shit doing this to another woman so you have to be single" LMAO The hooker with a heart of gold? I wish to hell they all had this rule then that would save some marriages.