I Am Turning Into A Woman

A few months ago Ad Age put out an article titled, Meet The New Women, Men. The article was about the volume of marketing in hygiene products for men. Everything from “sensitive skin” balms to Axe Body Sprays (really perfume, but they don’t want to call it that). I laughed and thought it was quite funny. After all, I didn’t need Axe Body Spray, women loved me for my sparkling personality.

We almost a year later and I’m my transformation is nearly complete. My transformation into my new feminine form start very subtly a couple years ago in San Francisco, ironically. I was staying at The Four Seasons (which I highly recommend if you need to stay in SF), and they had this shampoo in the shower. Since I was a manly man, I just used whatever shampoo the hotel gave me for free. They could put generic dish soap in a bottle, and I would just use it and never know the difference. Except this time I found myself touching my hair sub-conciously. I finally noticed myself doing it in the mirrors of an elevator. I noticed I was feeling my hair because it felt different. It had this silky softness to it that I never had before. When I returned to my room, I had to check the bottle to see what this magic elixir was that made my hair so silky soft (girly). It was L’Occitane shampoo…of course it had to be french! I grabbed a couple bottles before I left, and I looked it up online. I introduced my cousin, and he confirmed my thoughts that this was the most amazing shampoo in history (although he also watched a lot of girly TV, so he would have liked it just because it’s French). So, I removed the $.99 bottle of Suave shampoo and replaced it with my little hotel bottles of super French shampoo. But supplies quickly ran thin. I needed a re-up. I looked online and found there were stores nearby. But that would mean having to walk in and buy this stuff. So, I sent someone else to get the bottles for me. I bought in bulk so as to not have to frequent the store more than necessary. But at $16 per bottle, which is half the size of my .99 Suave, it was pricey. But that’s the price we women pay for our beauty.

Fortunately my girlfriend agreed that the shampoo was awesome and agreed to help me in shop. I think she just agreed because she likes it herself and gets to use it at my place.

So, the shampoo was the beginning. Now I discovered a new toiletry that has be shoveling out cash. The Art of Shaving. I had heard of the shop before in Maxim magazine (see how manly I am). It sounded interesting, but I was happy with my cheap (whatever was on sale) shaving cream and Mach 3 razor. But I noticed the shop while at Mandalay Bay in Vegas. I figured it looked manly enough. There was a guy in back with old fashioned chairs for shaving. It looked like the kinda place Al Capone would get a shave, so I figured it was a good place for me to shop. So I picked up a couple of items. I got the shaving oil (goes on before you use shaving cream), and shaving cream. I got the cream in a tube, which made sense for me because I travel so much. When I got home I tried it out. All I can say is that this is good shit! I can’t believe how close of a shave I get now. It has been years since my face has felt this way after shave. It’s like…a baby’s bottom, there I said it. I have a soft face, and silky soft hair. And things are about to get worse. I now most try the shaving balm from Art of Shaving. And my girlfriend has requested that I wear the Axe perfume, I mean body spray.

So, the next time you see me, I will have silky soft hair, a soft “baby bottom” face, and smell like a flower.

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