Married Men and Prostitutes

Update: You may also want to read the follow up post on how to tell if your husband is visiting prostitutes.

I came across an article from Oprah.com (it was syndicated on CNN, I swear) that talked about why men cheat.   In the article, marriage counselor M. Gary Neuman, author of the new book The Truth About Cheating, gives some interesting facts.

It’s estimated that 1 in every 2.7 men will cheat on their spouse, and that less than 7% of those men will come clean about their infidelity.   It’s also interesting that 92% of the men claim that sex is not their primary motivation.

Gary Neuman makes sure to state upfront that cheating is a despicable act, and that it causes pain to the very person these men swore to love and respect.   He also makes sure to let the Oprah viewers know that it’s not the woman’s fault.   So…it’s not you, it’s them, right?   Well….it looks like Gary also let’s women know they have to be more supportive of their husbands.

A guy named Josh tells us that he cheated on his wife because he felt “under appreciated” at home.   “The insecurity was really the catalyst” Josh says.   It seems Josh didn’t like the daily routine of paying bills, doing chores, taking care of the kids, so he screwed around on his wife.

Let me say for the record, I don’t get guys like Josh.   And I don’t really believe him.   I don’t think Josh wants to admit that he is really a shallow ass who wanted to screw around on his wife, and he knows that playing the emotion game is going to get him off the hook, at least a little.

I decided to do my own little study.   I’m more qualified than M. Gary Neuman, I’m not peddling a book on Oprah.   And I have known a lot of guys who cheat on their wives.   And I can tell you that each and every one did so for the sex.   Maybe they had a good time hanging out as well, but it really came down to the excitement of new sex with a new person.

Since M. Gary Neuman has already shared with us the reason men have affairs, I decided to focus on men who are simply having sex behind their wives back, specifically with prostitutes.   So I posted ads to several Craigslist city sites asking for married men to tell me about their experiences with prostitutes.   I also emailed some professional escorts directly to take a quick survey on their experience with married men.

Let me start off with the escort feedback.   According to the escorts I spoke to, roughly 75% of their clients are married, often traveling on business.   The ages range on average between 30 – 55, and appear to be professional men.   The fact that most of these women charge the same as a high priced attorney would make me believe that these men in fact do make a good living.

According to one respondent, “they’re almost all married, and I don’t think I have ever seen one try to hide it from me.   They will take calls from their wives while I’m there, talk to their kids, whatever.   They sometimes show me pictures of their kids while I’m getting dressed.   It’s not a big deal to them.”.

Another escort shared, “most of my out of town clients treat it (sex with a hooker) like drinking or smoking.   They know their wife doesn’t like it, so they don’t tell her.”.

I asked these women if they found these married guys to be unhappy with their wives.   Do they complain about them?   “No, just the opposite usually.   They brag about how great their marriage is” was one response I got.

Getting into the guy’s responses is a bit more of what you might expect.   “What I do on my own has nothing to do with my wife.   It’s a flaw, but it’s the only break I get sometimes.”.   Another man stated that he thinks prostitutes actually help keep his marriage going.   “My wife doesn’t feel good about herself a lot.   She thinks she is unattractive and is always down on herself.   But after my time with ******* (he named his prostitute for me), I’m able to be much better to her.”   Isn’t that sweet?   He nails hookers to help his wife deal with her insecurities.

Here’s another response I got from Craigslist, “The reason they do it because subconsciously they’ve turned their wife into their mother – this is a normal phenomenon in most couples so they can’t really have good sex with their “mothers” and more often than not the wife treats them like little boys – again, noones fault that’s just how love works – BUT men feel societal pressure to be more “manly” or to dominate someone – perhaps get out their anger or just feel “studly” – if there’s a mistress she can serve to make him feel adored and admired.”

This was a little psychobabble for my taste, so I responded asking it they were a man or woman, married or single.   The response I got was “I’m a psychotherapist”.   Interesting.

The fact is these men shouldn’t have gotten married in the first place.   If we want to find a bigger cause of the problem than guys thinking with the little head, let’s look at society.   Why is it assumed that the primary mission in life for men and women is to get married and have kids?   Why do we push people who maybe should be left single, into a commitment that everyone, even themselves, knows they are not going to stick to.

Most of my married friends are in terrible marriages.   I think this can be attributed to both parties.   Men don’t really look for a compatible soulmate, they look for the hottest woman who will have them, and trade up until they get to what they consider their pinnacle.

Women look for the potential mate, instead of what is truly standing in front of them at the alter.   And then they act surprised when their husbands ditch them for some younger, prettier girl, who will now enjoy the more improved man the wife helped make.

I obviously don’t agree with M. Gary Neuman, who thinks that men’s infidelity is going to be fixed by women being more supportive.   Husbands and wives should be supportive because that’s what makes a marriage work, not to keep each other from cheating.   The fact is there is no simple answer.   I’m not going to say it’s not women’s fault, and then tell them what they should do to help prevent it.   Men and women make their own decisions in life.   The only answer is to choose wisely.   Not just your spouse, but your lifestyle.   Not everyone needs to be married.

343 COMMENTS

  1. Maybe if you acted more like a girl friend he wouldn't have had to look for one. Not throwing stones, just something to ponder.

    • Tim the point is if she's not acting "like the girlfriend or wife" he has in mind…it's his responsibility to shit or get off the dam pot! Communicate! If he doesn't want to and wants out then get the FUKK OUT! but don't deceive the partner that your still in a relationship with! TRUST ME! We women will survive BETTER without you and the infidelity!! We can do bad all by ourselves! BTW A prostitte is not a girlfriend substitute!!

  2. I won’t ponder such nonsense- I’m not his girlfriend…. I deserve the respect he promised me! Risking my life and his ….why not act more like a honorable man? I am curious about what part of what I said made you suggest this?

  3. Prostitutes, sex, needing something exciting, that is not the problem, that is not why these men are selfih, irresponsible, worthless pigs.

    It is the lying. The constant lies. I offered an open relationship to my fiance. I know full well one person might not be able to meet all of another's sexual needs and desires. He refused. He wanted no other people in our relationship. I agreed to accept this as part of our marriage agreement.

    Until he decided to go to strip clubs and prostitutes to have his fun.

    He only wanted ME to be faithful while he did whatever his dick felt like doing. That is unacceptable. It is the lying, saying I love you, I am faithful, then having sex with someone else. THAT is absolute disrespect for someone. THAT is betrayal. Manipulating and lies are NEVER acceptable in a relationship. A man going to a prostitute is one thing. Lying to make his wife ignorant and keep his happy home is cruel to the point of evil.

  4. My man is one of these ” sex addict” scumbags – and I do indeed blame him – but the meat he drools on doesn’t get a free pass, either. Thanks so much to the lady who gave the advice about turning sperm receptacles in to the IRS. Don’t forget to have a chat with police, politicians and your local fundamentalist church or mosque. It won’t stop the sleaze, but it will put a cramp in their style. Women need to stop being so “understanding.” For the nameless toiletdweller who posted above me: Physical beauty is so fleeting. Sometimes it’s gone in a matter of seconds.

  5. The sad this is that if you think you can get over it – I kind of doubt it. My grandfather cheated on my grandfather when they were young. She would call everyone checking in on him to make sure he went where he said he was going until the day he died.
    Now my grandmother has dementia and often thinks I'm her sister. She tells me her side of the story. About how my grandfather was in the military and if she would have cheated on him or left him that she would have been looked down on, but everyone just accepted that he was a man and that it was alright. My grandfather used to just pick fight with my grandfather so he could leave and then wouldn't say where he was for the hours he was missing.

  6. The amazing thing is that my dad is the complete opposite. I think my dad was afraid to be like his father. He doesn't even think people should have close friends of the opposite sex. He believes you should never go to someone of the opposite sex for advice or comfort about problems with your marriage (unless they are gay) or any emotional topic. He always said, why would I talk it out with someone other than your mother? I wish I had found someone more like my father. Unfortunately, I married someone more like my grandfather. Which is what I'm dealing with now and why I found this forum. When we got married, I thought he was just like my father. I've discovered a lot of secrets in the last year.

  7. I'm considering it because my wife refuses to blow me. Our sex life has become routine – the schedule, the sequence of events, everything. I really love her. I wish she could learn the technique somehow. FWIW, I give her oral every time. I get none. I'm thinking of outsourcing it.

  8. I've read a lot of the comments. There doesn't seem to be very much from the men. I've screwed things up with my wife and thereby screwed things up with my kids, although they don't know it yet. I've slept with prostitutes and here's the thing that so many posters on the site don't believe – I really love my wife. I do compartmentalise the sex with escorts and my home life. I've noticed that I arrange to see them when I'm under a lot of pressure. It's complete fantasy and escapism. This isn't an excuse I'm just explaining why, its just the way it is. I accept that I've got a flaw, several flaws, and it is something that I've been trying to control but haven't been able to. We do all have choices, no one put a gun to my head and made me do this. I have a wonderful wife, wonderful kids and from the outside I have a wonderful life. I feel lucky. So why do I go and put all this at risk? That's one for me.

  9. One of the things that bothers me about a lot of the replies is that there seems to be no scope for someone to have problems. Men who on most levels are good husbands and good fathers are shallow narcissists when their visits to escorts are found out. And yet the statistics quoted in the original article would seem to indicate that most men fall into this category. For me visits to escorts are just about sex, and stress relief. There is no attachment. For some of the posters they were clearly in bad/indifferent relationships. There also seem to be some that were not bad until the visits were found out. Sometimes I think that we want to know too much about each other. The truth is all important. The truth can hurt though and sometimes it is better not to ask the question in case the answer isn't what you wanted it to be. In actual fact people never tell each other everything, not because they don't want to be honest with each other but because they don't want to hurt each other. Anyway, I just thought I'd throw this out there. In the meantime I'm trying to rescue my marriage. I recognise that my behaviour has caused the problem. I wish I could find a way to fix both my marriage and my behaviour.

    • Niicce….so you think its better to be dishonest and un-hurt and live a “lie” than be honest? So basically , say , your wife cheats on you, you would rather her not tell you , correct? People like you should do everyone a favor and stay single!

  10. We only married for 1 year and 8 months. I cannot believe this is happening to me!!!

    Last Saturday noon, my husband and I went to a walk. During the walk, he received a text message. I looked the text message. The message was from an escort. It says " $150/hr incall" with xoxo and the escort name. After I saw the message, I was really shocked and did not know what to say. I was in silence for at least several minutes and tried to control my emotion. After the dead silence, I asked him. Why she texted you, do you know her? He said he had no clue and he does not know who she is. I did not say anything.
    After we got home, he went to the bath room. Several minutes later, he came out and showed me the phone. There is a text message from the escort: she had caste on and mistakenly text the message. I asked him that if he texted her and he said "no". I did not believe.
    After he showed me this message, it really made me more suspicious about this.I started to look into the phone records, I found there 4 outgoing calls to the escort number and one incoming call from the escort. Texted messages from her and to her. I went to him said you did text her. And he said I just want to tell her that I do not know her.
    In the night, I called the number using his phone. The escort did not answer the call. I hang up. In one minute or so, she called back and I did not answer the call. She left a voice mail and address him by using his first name and said, " sorry to miss you call and give me a call back". I asked my husband why she has your number and knew your name. I asked him to approve that he does not know her.
    I requested my husband to set an appointment with her and I would go with him. He picked up the phone and call her and starting to leave the voice like… I do not know you and why you are calling. He was sending her message. I was really upset and hurt!!! It totally showed that he went to her service for sex.
    It has been 4 days from my initial discovery. He would not admit that he used escort, and he insisted that the escort is mistakenly him for someone else. I totally do not buy it.
    Can you help to tell me if he used this escort service? It keeps circling around in my head especially after I found her picture online.

    I am miserable and tormented!!!!!

    • You sound dumb,passive and crazy. Why the hell would he show you the text? You also sound asian. I hang up , I text, I say I don’t believe!
      you sound like a dam weirdo.enough already,enough with the games,you call the hooker,the hooker doesn;t answer,she calls back you don’t answer,you listento the message,you ask your husband questions and want to set up an appointment were you would be there? I have no idea why some men marry you crazy bitches,seriously thats been their only mistake. Guys don’t get married!

      Trust me sweetheart,he’s miserable and tormented too!

  11. my oh my, having read all the comments and also having trawled through forums such as this for some time now, i've drawn one conclusion – sadly once a cheat always a cheat.

    The question for the victims is, can you live with it or can't you. Personally, I have accepted it as a part of my life. I have a wonderful partner, loving, caring, attentive, great sex life but somehow or another he's always found a way to cheat (grabbing an extra hour after footy with the boys on a wednesday night, or an extra hour before picking up his daughter for our fortnightly weekend visitations with her). He's sorry, I have no doubt he loves and adores me, but for reasons I don't think i'll ever figure out, he needs something more than just me. Course it breaks my heart, it eats me up, sometimes I just want to die and I feel like i'll implode with all the stuff that goes on in my head. Most of the time its life as usual.

    Accept it or don't – they never change. 2nd chances do give them a licence to continue.

    • If only all women were as accepting and understanding as you. Cheating is hardwired into us men. We evolved to spread our seed. Monogamy is unnatural. However, just because we want to be with other women from time to time doesn’t mean we don’t love you. I bet if you have more sex with your husband he’ll cheat on you less, and in time who knows, he might even stop all together.

      • I am a married woman of 14 years, trust me more sex doesnt help..he only gets more of an ego boost and screws more girls..i served him with divorce papers..now he is crawling back to me .. wants his family back..had to severe all contact with him several times for my mental wellbeing ..i did what he wanted for first 14 years of marriage now he will do what i want or i dont talk to him..works out good for me..i cut him from sex till he does what i want and how i want it..karma is a bitch

        • hey dumb ass,cut him from sex and he’ll still get it it some place else,thats not the answer you idiot! Just divorce him….stupid little bitches playing your petty ass mind games! karma’s abitch for you because you’re still attached if you can’t let him go and are trying to get a temporary sense of power by “punishing” him. GROW A BRAIN!

      • Right so the apes go take $800 dollars and offer it to the nearest female for a fuck? And I’m sorry but most animals only have sex to produce offspring so unless all these escorts are in heat and wanted to birth your children keep it in your pants.

    • Tanya,

      Thanks for being rational,please get these professional victims who are pissing moaning and staying to try to just shit or et off the pot! I’d run from half these scorned hags too!

  12. I had followed my boyfriend a few times and two of the times, it lead to a massage parlor. The massage parlor is only 2 minutes away from his office! He must have felt he won the lottery. I saw 4 guys come through in less than 30 minutes. All looking like decent looking men. Disgusting men! We live together and he denied it after I confronted him. He said he was dropping off the mail since a mailbox was near the vincinity. He lies and lies and if this was not a credible reason, he will think of something else. We have been together for over 5 years and I decided two days ago that I was above all of HIS issues. Women need to refocus on our needs and our life. I am 39 years old and I can not imagine living with this for years. A question for the ladies who stayed…..Don't you remember ever being in love and knowing your significant other felt the same? Don't you want this again?

    • I barely remember, Kim. We have 5 children and I was a mortgage broker who was once very financially secure and have totally had to rebuild. Finally after years of marriage he has a steady income. I feel entitled to have some financial support for once. And I need it. Besides- I don’t really believe that the next relationship will be any better. Unless I decide to go lesbian. I am almost 50 and have been married twice. Yes- I wish I could wave the wand and be free to make choices based on my feelings and not my economic condition. It really is no fun sleeping next to someone that I suspect is a louse. On top of everything else that has happened to me (loss of home, career and sense of purpose) now I have this jerk-off to worry about. Ugh.

    • yep i sure do, i have never felt loved by this pig fucking husband of mine.lie lie lie. Just recently found out he is fucking a 27 yr old Anica American girl. He is 50!! I hate him and of course he denies it..Im just a stupid bitch of corse!

      • I told my Army husband… I will tell his comanding officer about him cheating on me when his in cambodia…. maybe if he gets article 145 will make him learn his leason.

        • The commanding oficer probably does it too,many people do this stuff.They’ll think you’re just a vendictive scorned wife,don’t waste your time. They’ll want proof actual concrete proof.

  13. I empathize and I hope women will be strong enough to leave. I know it's easier for me to say this because I do not have children with him. I am an indepenent woman who worked for the last 20 years so I can say I can support myself. Women….get counseling or join a woman's support group. This will give you the courage to leave. You don't deserve this! You should be appreciated and be loved! This has helped me and I will read comments from everyone to move on.

  14. Let me simplify all of this for you. These men screw hookers because they are Narcissists. LIke Don Draper, they only like the "beginnings" of things when the woman gushes over them and there is the tingle of excitement in the air. They are incapable of being grown ups, get bored with normal life and feel a strong sense of entitlement to get back their lost youth that they blame their wives for taking from them. These men are not capable of real relationships, they are emotional cripples so they prefer prostitutes because they are messed up in the head like them. A Narcissist can only have relationships with someone they look down on. Equal partnerships are not their thing but they will fake it and get married to fit the societal norm then do this on the side. I learned this the hard way when I checked out my partner's cell phone after years of suspicious behavior. Unlike most men he wasn't apologetic but rather because belligerent and hostile and tried to blame me. He has no concern for the pain he has caused me and therefore he is a narcissist. Don't feel bad ladies, the same thing happened to Christie Brinkley and she's way hotter than any of us. This can happen to anyone.

    • I agree with much of what you said. The description of your guy sounds pretty much like mine. Emotionally immature and a strong sense of entitlement to that lovey dovey BS that goes on in the beginning of relationships. His ego knows no bounds and he was also belligerent and unapologetic when caught. Until he realized I was going to burn him to the ground and go after his pension. Now he’s holding on for dear life. Still, whenever the subject comes up he just wants to deny and have me “get over it”. He can barely contained his annoyance and it chaps my hide. He refuses to see that his behavior has stolen my security and that I now see him as a liar and a cad. How the hell do you stay married to that?

    • I believe that men who cheat on their wife with nasty whores , are sick people and have serious problems with them-selves. They “BLAME” their wife and say it’s their fault for them seeing the whores what kind of sad excuse is this?

      • I dated a guy who saw prostitutes for our entire relationship, which lasted 2 years. At the end he told me what he had been doing and confessed his sins, said he loved me and that I deserved something better. He was right, he had a sexual addiction. Years later he married a wealthy great woman who gave him a child, but he did the same, he cheated on her and it even got worse as he would fuck anything or anyone! He went to Thailand and “fell in love” with a hooker and ended up marrying her! Hoping this would end his addiction!? I dunno just thought I’ll share.

    • I don’t agree. My husband has been with me a decade and has NEVER cheated. I have wanted time alone, wanted threesomes with hot women I know and I am extremely open minded. He has no interest what-so-ever. After all of these years we still have great sex, he devotes his time to me, we have 3 beautiful children and I know where he’s at all of the time. I am a very lucky girl and I am far hotter and younger than Christie Brinkley. 🙂

      • You fooling yourself girl. Am hot myself and had a happy marriage for 17 years and great sex life. My husband in June 2011 went on a business trip and came back to confess having had sex with a prostitute after he was drunk. He confessed as he felt bad about it. NEVER TRUST MEN. THEY CAN DO ANYTHING IN FACT THEY ARE ALL PIGS

  15. Does anyone have any experience with suing the prostitute? I live in North Carolina.Does alienation of affection apply here? My husband used a whore in Chicago on his business trips there,took her to dinner,shopping ect… I even found the emails this piece of human trash sent him and emails talking about money. These skanks should be put on a Island chained to trees and buried alive. They ruin families.
    My husband gave her over $87,000 in a two year period. This was half my money and I want it back! He paid for her schooling.

    The disgusting thing is "it" looks like me. I looked "it" up on line and "it" is carey how much "it" looks like me. I called her to tell her I was suing her but "it" keep hanging up on me.

    I'm devastated and heart broken. I'm only 34 and he's 37. He has been kicked out of the house and we're seperated. I'm taking him to the cleaners but going afer her also! Can anyone give me some tips?

  16. Don’t be silly,leave the prostitute alone….however I sympathize with your pain.We all do. By suing her you’ll add to more finacial distress,make her life even worse than it is and this won’t stop her from feeling the financial pressure of continuing to make easy fast money to pay you off….getting a job as a sales girl won’t even remotely pay off your restitution.She won’t get a waitress job with your huge bill..she will continue to sell her body and ruin families if you were able to do that,even though we feel scorned and pissed we don’t want women continuing to sell themselves.Even though my husband was addicted to all this I STILL have womens best interest at heart!

    BTW I think that alienation of affection law is lame,it keeps women as victims! I pulled myself up and so can anyone else,NO VICTIM MENTALITY!

    Go after your husband ONLY!!

    I’m a scorned wife here too but looking at this with a logical rational mind!

  17. Forget the prostitute,this is an impulsuve revenge move.Suiing her and putting more stress or money worries of survival into her life is NOT going to get her out of prostitution it will only make her toss and turn with more ways to make easy fast money to pay you off,and as a result she will be "ruining" more families in the process,alot of those women struggle to get out of that,and trust me when I tell you she wn't just decided to see the livht and get a 9 to 5 waitress job with a huge alienation of affection law suit,that won't even remotely keep her goin with food bills and wahtever . She will CONTINUE to seel herself and ee other womens husbans. Look at the BIGGER picture. This will not help over all humanity or anyone in the picture in the end,it will make matters worse. Go after HIM only. I hope this helps,good luck.

  18. My wife found out that I had visited prositutes and she has asked me to move out as she is now seeing another guy. I have lost the most important person in my life through my own stupidity and selfishness so my message out there to any guy who is doing this is DONT, far better to work on making sure your wife feels safe and secure or you will end up like me, alone and very depressed

    • I’d like to know from you at what point you decided this was a good idea? Were you just walking along one day and it came to you- or had you frequented hookers before you married and thought you could keep running game on her? You are correct about one thing- once a woman’s security and trust is shaken- she will find it very hard to live with this. Was there ever a time you felt bad about this- or did you get some high off of being sneaky and nasty? I realize you’re suffering now and that’s why the regret- but did you ever stop to think about how this would affect her if she found out? I really want to understand your logic- if there was any?

      • i recenlt got caught by my gf of 5 years…i was looking up hookers on my phone while at work/by myself at home…i was just looking to see th pics and read the stories…as if liek an escape from reality i guess…i always been fancinated by hookers and pimps and was bored…i had no intentions of going thru with it…i just looked at the pics.. and read the ads….i watch pornos without telling her….she thinks im trying to screw all the hookers and im screwed now…i feel soooo bad she is pregnant with my child…it will never be the same…i fd up sooo bad…i neva thought she would find out…i did it because i like looking….i love her but all that dont matter now…i know her family she knows mine…im sooo embarassed….im 26 now ….smh i feel sooo bad…it was just dumb…i look up all kind of crazy and nasty stuff all the time without her knowing…do that really make me that bad??? have yall neva looked up nasty stuff?? idk im screwed and depressed…what am i to do now…sorry wish i could just die somewhere…it really feel awful…like whats wrong with me??? i just want to be her friend if nothing else…she really hates me now…im scared -from the heart

  19. Help me with this one… Last fall while my husband was away working in another state- I locked myself out of the bedroom and went down to the garage to look for a screw driver. What I found in his toolbox instead were about 35 little slips of paper with women’s names and numbers on them- descriptions of their “type” (ie “girl next door, big busted, etc..) and pricing! ($150 an hour- afternoon specials, etc..) I went to the computer and quickly found where he’d been looking up these escorts on Backpage.com (the one’s he’d clicked on were changed in color and I could tell.) I went through our cell phone records for months and months and was never able to confirm he’d called any of them. Still- who the hell writes down numbers if he isn’t using them or doesn’t plan to? Where’s the jolly in that? But I suspected he’d try to lie his way out of it and so when I confronted him, I told him that the Seattle PD came by looking for him with regard to some escort bust he was involved in. I went so far as to tell him they’d gotten his license plate number and wanted to talk to him! Sure I lied- but I wanted to measure his reaction and scare the truth out of him. He did acknowledge he had visited the sites and written down the numbers- but said there’s no way the police could be looking for him because he had never even called one of them. He didn’t seem particularly worried either. He actually behaved defensively, blaming me for the lack of intimacy and sex in our marriage and took little responsibility. He said that surfing the net and writing down the numbers felt like some sort of revenge every time I turned him down. I am not a stupid woman (was a fraud rep for many years and generally am able to get to the truth quickly.) We have five children (so you know he’s gotten a little tail, eh?) People generally believe my husband loves and adores me- and he is constantly seeking my attention. But it’s been a rough 8 months and I have serious doubts now about who this guy is. Am I just being naive? Does it matter if he followed through or not? And even if he didn’t- was it only a matter of time before he did? I would appreciate some feedback…

    • Hey dear I divorced my husband a year ago after two years (that I know of) for visiting escorts.He still has a great relationship with the kids but it’s been a long journey. The way I found out was he was in the shower and his cell phone in his office kept buzzing with a text. I looked at the text and it read “hey sweetie can you pick up some condoms on your way over ..I just relaized I have none and remember you’re getting two hours for $300 ,see you at noon xoxoxo Julia.”

      Yup I knew what was up from the start showed him and told him to get his shit and get our,he did and he couldn’t lie. He never lived in that house again. We went to counseling six months later to work stuff out for the sake of our children and we did.

      It doesn’t matter if he just had numbers trust me he has seen some and the way he is dealing with his anger for you is SO passive agressive. The one thing I learned is that if someone isn’t healthy and comfortable enough in communitcatin ghow they feel and talking to you about stuff you will NEVER have a sincere relationship because for them it will all be covert agression ! Thats not fair to you,he can’t talk to you instead of lashing out like a emotionally under developed child. Consider counseling and getting to the core of the probelm and him learning to communicate with you about stuff but if he has no desire or interest MOVE ON AND GET OUT!!! It will never get better because you’ll never know how he feels about stuff or who he really is.!

      • I am almost 50 and have been around the block a few times. It has been VERY hard for me to believe he didn’t partake. He swears it on his grandmother’s grave and has offered to take a polygraph test. He even went crying over to my parent’s house to beg for forgiveness and swore he did not follow through. Not that it matters much- since his desire was the same. He initially said he’d go to counseling- but hasn’t followed through at all. But he maintains before God that he’s been faithful to me in this marriage.

        I will say that the last 3 years of our marriage has been very difficult. Not only did I lose a very lucrative career and our dream home- I have been mired in deep depression and have not felt sexual. I am not making excuses- but I do acknowledge that I have not been an attentive partner.

        I would love to just take your advice and “get out”- but economically I cannot afford to do so at this time. He finally has a job that can support us (after years of me being the bread winner.) We have a little girl that adores and needs him, too. We are just starting to get better financially and a split would cause total destruction.

        During our marriage- I have always felt chased by my husband. His mother deserted him as a child and he constantly wants attention. I don’t want to psycho babble here- but yes, he’s emotionally immature and very covertly aggressive. He has said and done a lot of mean spirited things to me over the years. And I suppose that has also contributed to my shutting down the fun park.

        Can you tell me what happened after you went to counseling and if you were ever able to resume your relationship with him in any meaningful way?

        • You and I have that in common,just turned 52. I didn’t mean suggest for you or anyone that it would be that simple just to leave. I’m sorry about that. I know there are tons of factors to consider.

          The great thing about this is that you’e not naive to him. We all know people can swear on anyones grave but because they can’t even tell themselves the truth about stuff and lie to tthemselves it’s all words and means nothing so they can tell you anything….blah blah blah is basically what it boils down to. Listen to your intuition.

          You’re staying for your little girl and I commend you for that,all you can do now is maybe put a plan into action ,save money,different work ,a plan to leave in a couple years or when she hits a certain age,basically you just need to take care fot eh two of you)your daughter and you) at this point thats all you can do.

          Start taking really ood care ofyourself and get some counseling for support. You’re not the crazy one.It’s awful being in a realtionship or marrigae with someone covert in their anger..you have to guess what you did wrong. I will NEVER again be with someone who deals with their anger like this!

          I left right away because I was able to ,THANK GOD!!! I’m a laywer and take care of myself and my two kid alone,ones out on their own already but I just couldn’t stay and work it out. He wanted to so bad and was apologetic but I said no,some women stay to work it out thats theeir choice,me NO and I don’t care if she was a prostitute or a secretary it’s all the same to me.

          The counseling consisted of us learnin to both move forward as supportive friends FOR THE CHILDRENS sake ONLY! We talked about ways to work together and support them as a team without ever bashing eachother. This took awhile LOL as me more than him had to get out ALOT of anger,hurt and disappointment.

          I hope that helps,let stay in touch here and keep me posted.

          • Thanks for your comments Marlene. I really do appreciate your feedback.

            But one thing I want to say is that despite it all- I have not discovered any infidelity and have serious doubts that he took it that far.

            I have tortured him for eight moths and continue to watch for signs and drill him. What has happened during this time is that I am giving him more attention and he seems to be excited about that and willing and wanting to talk about our problems. In truth- this is probably the best our relationship has been in many years. Not that I would ever tell him that. But then- he has always doted and fawned over me.

            Don’t think I’m not a self-sustaining gal. I have made a lot of money in my life (far more than he) and now own a business that is doing quite well. Certainly a lot more than he makes. Still- I cannot easily break our family apart.

            I do believe that if I felt he was a total louse who had humiliated me and shamed his family- my foot would be completely up his ass. I am not a tolerant type and although I speak about our youngest daughter- I want you to know that he’s only here because I do believe he has been faithful despite his stupid ass behavior. Guess his one saving grace has been that he loved me much that I have put up with his immaturity.

            All that said- none of us really know what our partners are up to. I will keep you posted!

          • okay. I’m so happy thing are getting better.I resonded back because you asked about the therapy so I hope that helped other than that I may just stop typing LOL I seem to keep getting under your skin or am I reading more into your response? Thats whats hard about the written word. If so my apologies
            I guess I’m not clear at first I thought you were writing back you knew something more had gone on so I had responded to that and in the last one you made it sound like you’d never quess such a thing,so my apologies for any confusion.

            It doesn’t matter what I think . I don’t know you so self sustaining girl whatever each situation is diffferent and it sound like things are looking up and again keep us posted.

            Good luck Denise

          • Nah Marlene- not under my skin at all! I’m a thick skinned gal! LOL I really do appreciate having someone to talk about this with!

            When I initially found those dirty phone numbers and his trail on the computer- I was really pissed off. I can’t imagine what happened to you! Sheesh! And then the fear struck me… I really am a very married person and family means a lot to me. I guess in some ways it humbled me and made me realize that if he’s not getting it at home- he really will go looking somewhere else. So I must also admit my part in this situation. For a long time I was pretty turned off and tuned out.

            Most of my girlfriends are in their 50’s and single. A lot of them have given up on ever finding a decent fellow. When I think about how limited the options are- I guess working on my marriage and trying to work this out looks better and better. But make no mistake- if I thought he’d jeopardized my health or abused some poor woman who feeds her children by being forced to have sex with old married dudes- I would pull the trigger on this relationship.

          • I found out all, took him to church and he confessed it all, a dozen prostitutes home based and one out of a hotel, ugggs makes me sick, but its true, if there are numbers there were visits!!! they only admit when forced, then he said there was one, next week two , next week three, until our counselor said if hes not honest he cant be helped, he made him call all the numbers I found to see if he would remember hahahah he remembered but did some calls in front of me, then he made his list 12 in 10 months, and i said on the list write where you met them, house/apartment he knew all and one hotel… sickos

    • Denise, I’m normally all about calling these guys out on their b.s.. I love it when they get caught red-handed and claim it’s the first and only time it happened, or when they get caught and deny everything, even though their wife has no doubt and has plenty of proof.

      But I can’t help think that maybe you caught this before it did go too far. If he left so many trails on his computer, and didn’t make calls from his phone, then it’s quite possible he didn’t do anything. And realize that even if he did, it’s not just himself he would be protecting, he obviously doesn’t want to lose his marriage.

      With just reading what you wrote, I can tell that you are not just hurt, but you pride yourself on not being a fool. And in a way, being made a fool, especially by someone you love, would hurt more than the cheating itself. But you may need to turn your ego off a bit to get through this.

      You have been married a long time, you have 5 children together, so you have a lot to hold on to. And right now the only one with the power to throw that away is you.

      I’m not saying you should just let this go, and by no means do you deserve to be treated this poorly, but maybe take that leap of faith with him, and let him know that’s what you’re doing. I’m telling you, if this guy loves you, that will stick with him and likely keep him from moving forward with these women.

      I’m not a big fan of counseling. It’s not that I don’t think it’s valuable, I just don’t think most guys really commit to the process and look at it as a form of punishment. And let’s face it, when given an ultimatum because they got caught doing something wrong, that’s what it is. But it’s clear that you two are not communicating at the level you used to, and need to.

      I understand that you’re not the one who screwed up here, but maybe it would be best to not point fingers and deal with the underlining issue. Go away together, or at least start committing yourself to spending more time alone together. Find out what’s going on in his head and try to make things better for you both.

      Don’t give up on the guy because he stashed a few phone numbers. I never got married because I believed it takes more work than I would be abel to give a relationship. This is the hard part, work through it. I have seen couples do it, and their relationships are always stronger on the other side.

      • Filthylucre what i want to know is What happens to a women who has no family and no social net work who fails to sustain a quality of service in the industry? Also deemed as ‘gutter trash’ in all my naivety is it so, that these things, or humans if you like are just simply thrown from a car in the small hours of morning, with a lack of life force that would permit a green wheelie bin before daylight hours. What then? Who are they? well know one knows really…. its just one of those things. It astounds me, one, that a persons life would constitute this existence and two, there is a market that is beyond what we call sexual service, who cleans this up? and why would a market be so sober in its ability to be turned on? Only blood come to rise….. I feel sorry for you!

    • Thank you for that. I actually believe he didn’t take it that far- but was definitely fantasizing about it. And you are correct- my pride is bruised and I am torturing us both now.

      Although I’ve known all this time- we were at a holiday party over the fourth where one of his co-workers (a female) brought it up to me. It ripped the scab of an old wound and made me wonder why he was confiding in this woman. Although after spending 2 days with her- I realize that she is no threat to my marriage and was probably a good person to “counsel” him.

      We have been through a whole lot in the last three years and I really do not want to continue to doubt him. But I will tell you guys- that’s the problem with this type of behavior. It undermines a woman’s safety and makes her question everything she thought she knew about her husband. I just feel so beat up! And all for what? A damn muscle spasam?

      Anyhow…In will greatly consider what you have written because I do believe it’s sound advice. These last few months we have actually had a better relationship than in a long while. Probably because we are communicating and I am showing interest in his direction. He has been making great efforts also. Thanks again…

    • Prepaid phones. Phone accounts you don’t know about. For smart phones there is Google voice-which can act like an independent phone (no records of call on your phone bill)…

  20. found over 300 numbers in my husbands cell phone record,all leading and most to whores on the internet.He has lied and told me he has no idea who they are. I tired calling some but they hang up or say I have the wrong number. Has anyone gotten the skanky worthless trash to admit what they did with your husband? I want answers so bad.What did you all do after finding these numbers? My husband won’t give me answers.

    • Sharon, what answers are you looking for? Clearly your husband has been seeing these women, and I doubt it’s for any purpose outside their normal work duties. What further information do you need from them?

    • didn’t call the hooker who’s text I found on my husbands cell, because the “skanky worthless trash” didn’t owe me any explanation. The “skanky worthless trash” that lived under my roof and had a commitment to me was the ONLY one I went to for answers.

      What exactly do you want the women YOUR husband seeked out to say to you? There wouldn’t be any right answer to satisfy you, and in all honesty it would just infuriate you even more because more than likely it would turn into a insult fest.

      I’m over some women on here putting that much blame on the prostitute our husbands seeked out.I think it sort of sheds a desperate clueless light on us!

      I’m a DA and have prosicuted some,and even sent some into programs..you do know some of them are underaged and forced into that right?I just can’t imagine harrassing one or being so ignorant as to expect answers from one.

      • I’m sorry, I appreciate the comments on here, but this reply is b.s. I have seen this person post under a few names, and now they are claiming to be an attorney, which I can’t really allow. I think it’s clear if you can’t properly spell prosecute, it’s unlikely you’re a district attorney.

      • Marlene. I agree with you, which is why I was 100% respectful to the woman I called. That’s probably why she actually admitted to being an escort, and that my husband likely found her number from the “Back Page”.
        I wanted to know because although I filed for divorce when I found the voice of ANY woman on my husband’s phone…I wanted to know who she was. It mattered to me.

      • Its not harrassing them, its finding out who or what they are, and getting answers to what our spouses were telling them, which can all be part of divorce case or healing if reconciling. I found out things my hsuband claimed and they were true: he was depressed, paid for sex then asked if they can just be friends without sex, weird stuff…. some showed me how sick he was, how wierd, how messed up how selfish, … but it helped me to know truths, and all he did …

    • YES SHARON!!!! Just today, actually! After 15 years of marriage and three children, my collage sweetheart and X-NFL egomaniac husband cheated countless times..but always denied it and I found it nearly impossible to catch him. What I found on his phone records was UNBELIEVABLE, but of course he denied everything…making me angrier and crazier.
      Today, however, I made one of my calls to a number I found from one of his late night calls. I half hazardly left a message for her, trying to evoke some empathy…and she called back within the hour! I wasn’t expecting what I heard. After grilling her for a few moments I realized she wasn’t fighting me.
      I asked, “So why did I find your number on his call record at 3:30 am?” She simply said, “Probably from the Back Page”. I instantly knew what that must mean, but I had to ask. “So is that like for escorts?”….She quietly said, “Yes”.

      I thanked her profusely, and told her how much I appreciated her honesty, that I’m just a tormented mother trying to find the truth. I then asked, ” Why did you tell me the truth, when you didn’t have to?”.
      Again, quietly, she said, ” I guess it was something you said”
      I wished her the best and we hung up.
      This was the first time ANY of these women told me the truth.

      I wish this kind of proof wasn’t necessary for me, it caused me to stay with the biggest (both literally and figuratively) monster imaginable. Think OJ charming, only way bigger as a Nose Tackle. Although I’m told often how naturally beautiful I am as well as how young I look, I stayed with someone who disrespected me to my face as well as my behind my back.

        • because on a subconcious level we do not truely believe we can do better and are seeking approval from people who will never value the charactor traits we have such as honesty and integrity as they themselves do not possess these qualities.

    • I got the prostitutes to tell me a lot!!! I did huge investigation, said Im the sister to a man who disappeared and we know he sees escorts (had to use nice word to get them to talk) they called me back and knew him and gave me details!!!!!!

      • write me at [email protected] my husband saw 12 prostitutes in 10 months, all of a sudden…. someone on here asked a man: when did it start and how? did all of a sudden the guy think oh I want to see prostitutes and whores? this is one issue I deal with!! he was not a sexual man, not a sexual monster, but had mental issues, and wierd for years, his ex wife and I thought he was gay, as he never initiated sex in our marriage or in theirs either!!! couseling: showed he had neglect in childhood oh booo booo for him some kids were abused and burned and beat, so he had some neglect ? yes I was mad at him as 10 years previous i caught him doing bad porno online and placing ads looking for discreet women, never did it in person, but snagged him then and now 10 years later with prostitutes, from his Cell phone bill…. sucha sad story….. i left him and came back, he went to church and cried to pastor and became a christian man, only thing he said left to make him normal, his family hates him for years, still dont talk to him….. long story I hope to make some female friends who have been throught this so email me!!!!!!! thank you for listening

        • Deb,

          I’m so glad I have these comments connected to my email. Thank you dear for replying,alot has happened and I handled this bad.

          I will email you soon,but will do a quik post here. Shortly after I posted here. Her numbers were changed. I did do a public country search and ended up finding out here real name and were she lived. I approached her at her car. She had a regular job at Macy’s ,she wouldn’t talk to me when I approached her and I LOST it. I started attacking her,and pulling her hair and she ended up pressing assault charges and filing a restraining order. I handled it bad. My life is worse now,because now I have a restraining order.
          She was honest about what she did to the judge et… and made it clear just because she did that she won’t tolerate abuse or a stalker.”The judge aggred with her that just because women do that society always thinks they should just accept it when things lke this happen,and just shut up and not fight back” The judge was a female too. The judge also told me “I just don’t get it,and my husband is to blame.” One of the reasons I ended up looking like an ass in the end is because she produced several emails with HIM pursuing her>The judge made me read the emails allowed in court to get through my head that he contacted her.I was so livid at her arrogance I sent a letter to her mother telling her her daughter broke up a marriage. I did jail time for that and community service,next time It will be more serious. I have to stay away from her!

          Her mother has also threatened to file a restraining order. I feel like a complete insane headcase for how I handled this,and I’m still recovering. I wish I would have been nicer trying to get nfo out of her like you did.

          I will email you soon and keep you abreast.

          • also I’m still with him,yes you heard me correctly. We decided to work on it and he’s in counseling. I rub in his face every day that he ruined my life,and I wish to hell I would never have tracked this cunt down,now all I see is her face with him.

          • WOW Sharon, with all due respect I understand your pain and anger, but kudos to the esocrt for standing up for herself. Despite your anger she’s not a piece of trash she’s a actual human being who hurts,cries and feels pain like you,one who made some self depricating choices but she’s still a human being with feelings like us all.I’d like to attack several too people but you can’t,and as pissed off as you want to be about it the first person you need to be directing all anger to is your hubby.

            How is that arrogant to call the police and defend yurself when someone cleary unstable attacks you? Anyone would do that.Why shouldn’t she? Should she just accept that?I’m not sure her relationship with her mom but clearly she has unconditional love for her daughter,like I do mine no matter what path she choose,and she see’s you as someone trying to hurt her daughter.

            I would have shared the same philosophy as the judge. I’m glad to see the justice system didn’t throw her under the bus and give society the the message she DESERVED abused because some pig( yes your husband) called her and couldn’t keep it in his pants,because that kind of thinking and justifying violence is just as destructive to society as prostitution,if we give human the right to okay violence that appeals to their sense of justice we’ll be going on witch hunts because we don’t like the way someone wears their hair.

            I now talk to other men at court ordred John programs,you stay with your husband but sound as bitter and angry as ever. Has he acknowledged your pain? What has he done to make up or prove his love for you? You two need to get into therapy and you need to move past your anger and create healthy boundaries with him. It doesn’t sound like he’s nurturing your healing process. Please have some dignity and get away from him if this is the case. If he can’t step up to the plate and doesn’t care your as bitter and anger(justified) as ever and hasn’t done his part than you need to leave. He’s a narcisstic misogynist like I was 15 years ago. He’s got some mommy issues to heal!

            Life is a series of lessons,and we’re all learning.People havin different experiences or lessons than us doesn’t mukae ius better or more moroal it just makes us different.

    • got to google.com and google all the phone numbers, prostitues that work out of their homes or massage parlors usually have web sites too!!!! if you google their phone numbers alot might come up!!!!!! write me: [email protected] I too have been devastated by this night mare, found out in April of 09, still struggle with it……
      after you find the numbers you google them and see who/what they are…. then call them and talk to them….. and see!!! also you can then go to county records and by name, get their locations….. but google will show you ads they might place then you know!!!!!

      • I did the same thing recently…..googled…..I was astounded by what came up! He’s moving out shortly……there can be no reconciliation. And I exposed his sorry arse for who and what he is…..a liar and cheat (and I don’t care how I look to anyone else)!

        • I as well am going through the same garbage. My first marriage and first baby. However I love my child and ME to much to put up with this nonsense. He chose that lifestyle over his child and wife he can have it. I am done. I am strong and always have been. I do not need this especially around my baby boy. When you do wrong it comes back to haunt you. He will get his. In the mean time I am doing what I have to do!

  21. Well my husband is cruising bad neighborhoods and someday will pay for his insanity when he gets robbed or worse! There is NO excuse for this….NONE!

  22. This had to be one of the most sexist articles i’ve ever read especially as statistics say that married women cheat as much as men nowadays. The only bit I agree with is it’s down to people feeling they SHOULD be married rather than wanting to

  23. Why do women have a ‘women vs man’ mentality? You should be happy that other womens lives are being screwed up by their husbands, as long as it doesn’t happen to you. Anyways, women deserve as much suffering as possible. They go for the biggest muscly guy and then complain when he treats them like crap. News flash you illogical creatures: 99% of good looking men will eventually treat you like crap and cheat on you. If you stop being such hypocrites and stop going after big muscly hulks that have their way with you like an animal in the bedroom (which is the only reason you are with them) then maybe you will not run into trouble in, you know, every single other aspect of life?

  24. I want to say thank you to all you women who are clearly just as bitter and angry as me. It makes me feel so much better because I was so isolated. I am a slightly above average looking, skinny guy (not even that skinny, not lanky or skeleton skinny, just small and skinny), who can never get a girl because i am skinny and my hair doesn’t look ‘nice haircut bro SWAAG’ enough because it is too dry to do anything fancy with. My whole childhood and life I was raised in a way to be polite, which is relationship suicide for a man because women only go for loud, obnoxious doucebags. So yea it kills me when I see an ugly monkey with big bones with a girl that I would deem good enough to be my girlfriend. Sometimes I just look at myself in the mirror and say how can girls POSSIBLY not worship my amazing face if there are so many of them with ugly (but big boned, over average weight guys.. I look like a pornstar compared to those ugly monkeys!??) ‘It is good if he is big because he has to protect me.’ WTF? from who? pedobear or the boogeyman? We don’t live in caveman times anymore. The ironic thing is that even though small, when I get mad I can get really violent and have high adrenaline because I suffered a lot in my life. Yet women completely, illogically overlook this of course. Plus, now it isnt even what women want in their man, it is what their friend wants, and we live in capitalist bro bro swag culture facebook friend 50000 mode bro mode system, so if you want to have a girl, you have to be the type of guy that all of her friends would approve, because she wants you to brag more than you yourself. and of course, in our superficial, stupid bro bro culture capitalism this means spending 300 on a plan t shirt with 1 word of the expensive brand on it, douchebag hair, douchebag walk, douchebaggery, being loud, obnoxious, NOT being skinny. being fat is ok even unless you are FAT. DONT be skinny.. girls HATE it. ZERO chance if you are born with high metabolism and have a nice face because girls would rather go for 200 pound big boned fatty with ugly face and dumb brain. I have seen girls that are 5’2, weigh, 90 pounds, with a boyfriend that is 5’10 and 190 pounds. Who am I supposed to date then, 4’6 midgets with 55 pounds of bodyweight? Because of this I will never get laid unless I go for an ugly girl in which I would rather masturbate anyways. All I want is a sweet girl that is equal to me in looks, but in this unfair society, coupled with the fact that women are illogical, I will probably never have a girlfriend. I am happier now though because I am sweet, smart, funny, etc… yet all you illogical creatures (women) ignore me, so you are the ones that are missing out, and now I can take comfort in the fact that your useless, dumb, average-but-not-skinny-thus-they-got-you husbands have caused you so much grief. Logically, you deserve all of it! That should hurt even more. You have ONLY yourself to blame for.:) You illogical creatures use the unfair advantage to men (due to naturally stronger hunger for sex, men will go for girls lower than them, and girls will be super picky) to your advantage, and love to date stupid douchebags that treat you like crap. I will always be miserable, so have fun being happy at that you evil creatures, but at least now I know you all are just as miserable. Victory. Thank you from the bottom of my heart just for this. You don’t know how wonderful it feels knowing you are not the only one suffering and the world is against you. Anyways, the day there are government approved STD-checked prostitutes, I will be visiting them, so there is hope for me maybe. Then you wonder why men visit prostitutes. lol.

    • I personally know many “skinny and polite”, (as you call yourself) men who have found women and are in great relationships with them. My brother, one of the greatest guys I have ever known, is skinny, extrememly polite, (he would never say the things you have in your post, -ever) he is both quiet and sensitive and yet he is married to one of the greatest women I haev ever known! I admit it took him a little longer than my other brothers (one a more typical jock type that you so hate, the other like him) to find a wife, but you are clearly a pessimist. You see, you have the advantage; when you finally do find that woman, you will have found a true gem that you know isn’t at all like these other women you are referring to. Just from reading your post, I would say that your negative and ultra critical nature is the real reason you can’t find a woman to appreciate you. Which is good news for you because you can change that about yourself, but if I’m correct, you would rather blame everyone else for your problems than to admit that it has anything to do with you. Seriously, you blame capitalism for not being able to get laid? Just take a few seconds to realize what a senseless statement that actually is! Be a man, quit feeling sorry for yourself and women will flock to you, no matter what you look like. Just a tip, take up drumming and get a sense of humor and you’ll have your pick of women! One last thing, you might be looking in all the wrong places, there are some places where women who aren’t shallow go.

    • That is a interesting blog indeed. You’re right she is articulate.OMG A Hooker they walk among us!! Why are so programmed to these stereo types? Did you know half the Johns in my program aren’t convicted offenders but doctors,lawyers and very articulate people,so are some “hookers”

  25. I’m a man who was a hobbyist for years,and active misogynist,all men who use prostitutes have no respect for women including their wives or girlfriends. It took me loosing a beautiful family to wake up,my wife and I are friends today ,and I speak at sessions with court ordered Johns who were soliciting prostitutes.
    There’s many different reasons men do this.
    Ladies your husbands have issues that may take a long time to heal,whatever choice you make it’s probably best to move on and away from him for now.

  26. I sleep with hookers once week. They do for me everything my wife stopped doing the minute our first kid popped out. If it wasn’t for these lovely ladies of the night/day our marriage would have been over a long time ago. My wife is my best friend and like a sister to me but you can’t stick your willy up your sisters bum and then spunk all over her boobies. Thats just wrong. But with Scarlett, Night_Angel, StilletoeBitch and DeepthroatMInx anything goes. Call me sick or perverted but my wife and kids have a great life. They want for nothing and we are a close happy family. So what if daddy likes to dip his wick in the well of many. My wife probably knows because I often smell of cheap perfume and probably taste of hooker spit. But would she walk away from my six figure salary, her sport cars, 4 holidays a year, private schooling for the kids and endless cups of coffee and shopping sprees with her friends. No, I don’t think so. Oh and obviously I have a very tight prenup so she is screwed…not as often as me though.

    • You are such a cheap type of person with no integrity. It really showing you don’t really loved your wife. How about your children? Do you have girl…what would she feel if she will get married someday and be cheated by her husband. Have you consider your wife feeling at all? The law of gravity, “what must goes up must come down.” How about reaping and sowing?

    • You are nothing but a selfish man! You really don’t loved your wife at all! You don’t how much your wife feels. Do you have a little girl? Have thought about of man she going to marry will not cheat? If you love her, you do a lot of thinking before hurting your family. Remember, the reaping and sowing. The law of gravity has not changed. You still have a time to changed for family’s sake! That’s if you loved them!

  27. there is a fact we have to come to believe,
    this is the man nature to be thirsty of having sex with someone new.
    Men are both physically and mentally totally different from women.
    so quit stretching this any longer.

    • THANK YOU!! I’m so over coming to this blog and seeing the comments section riddled in comments by these women stretching this out and beating this to death,analyzing the man and trashing the whore. Go to therapy and stop coming to the boards so we don’t have to look at a entire row of comments from Deb from south Florida and other bitter women in response to a blog that was written over two years ago!! It’ll never fail ,These two posts written over two years ago will continue to get these broads clogging up the comment section!

    • Physically stronger as in being strong enough to pick up somethin that she might not can,but you men are not as physically stronger than women if it was the other way around and she was cheating on you.Now are you?Mentally totally different,you have got that right.Mentally ill.And a mans nature is just like a dogs nature they dont give a dame who they hump on that is why men are called DOG’S all the time.If you are married and you go out and cheat all the time,pay prostitutes money that is also your wifes money then there is a big problem there and the problem dont belong to the wife it belongs to you,but in the end we are the one who has to pay the price.When you love someone and you find out that he has been cheating on you and paying for it whit your money,and has prob over the years has spent enough to buy yu a better house or car then that make you a selfish dog.It does hurt the wife more than the husband know’s take it from me I know,I have been going through it for a year and have lost 40 pounds and look like I have aged 20 years.Why would someone do that to a person they claim they love?What do the whore’s have that the wife dont?When a man goes out and buy prostitutes he is in the devil’s playground and will pay for it in the end.Vengeance is mine saith the Lord

  28. some men just need “strange p***y” my sex life with my husband is amazing and freaky, we do it every day , we have had threesomes with men and women, I do everything anal oral role play, and I found out recently he has been sleeping with escorts. I have no idea how often but as soon as I found out I started doing the same (not paying of course how lame are guys that they have to pay?) lol two can play at this game.

    • This is what I plan to do. I caught my boyfriend cheating with hookers. I’m pregnant so I am in no position to leave at this point. In 6 months after I have this baby I will not feel bad about cheating on him. It is a big motivator to take care of my body and self so I will still be hotter than him even after I am a mommy. I don’t want to become some downtrodden wife that is being taken for granted like a fool. I’ve already confronted him, cried, gone to couples counseling with him etc etc. he said he didn’t want to lose me and he will do whatever it takes to make things right again. Sounded good and made me feel hopeful, until I found out he has still gone to escorts since this big trauma and promises. I would leave him today if I wasn’t pregnant and I was financially secure. .. I will just be like an escort and fuck him once in a while in return for financial securities for me and my baby.

  29. Ok I AM AN ESCORT so I think I have a right to say this. Married men come to see us because they want to have their cake and eat it too and that’s all there is to it!

    They all give me varying excuses “She doesn’t perform well in bed” or ” Her body isn’t as tight as it used to be” to which I wish I could reply “Well…how about you grow a pair and tell her what you like in bed?” and “Well of course her body isn’t going to look like mine. I’m 22 and she’s 49 and blessed your sorry ass with kids.” or ” From the looks of it your body isn’t tight either buddy. I hope she’s off fucking some smoking hot lad with a huge cock and olympic stamina.” But alas, I just grin and bear it.

    It would be a nice refreshing change for men to just own up to the fact that the reason they cheat is because they are shitty husbands/boyfriends or don’t have the cajones to leave an unhappy relationship and stop blaming others for their lack of self control!

    • YAY to some truth……………………. thats why mine did it, he wanted something “different” …. nothing to do with me, and he is a shithead. Well said.

    • thanks for that truth and coming here to give a perspective. Demi,this is NOT an attack but you seem to have a side were you empathize with the wife. Does it seem like a contradiction to be doing this but know the wife is being hurt by him? I think you should just make a extra effort not totake part in it at all,just TRY to do something else. If the supply didn’t exist these guys would have no were to turn!

    • AGAIN I just wanted to stress I’m not judging you nor wouldI ever.I know how hard life and money can be. I’ve lived in a car with a toddler at one point in my life. I just think if you feel this way then you should have your actions match your words.It doesn’t do the wives any good or make us feel any better when you’re telling us you feel our pain but have our husbands penis inside you at the same time,just something to think about !!

      • Maja,thanks for writing what I was thinking. I have a husabnd who used escorts for years. I’m not judging either and thanks you Demi for coming here it’s brave but like Maja pointed out your having sympathy for us while having sex with them AND also isn’t he and all the men you see your bread and butter money? I appreciate the truth but you count on them for money but still trash them behind their back and have sympathy for us while having sex with them…yes double standard and hypocrasy! From an escorts point of view you should just be grateful, There’s these “pigs”out there to give you business and if you feel this way stop doing prostitution. So you come here sympathize with the wife and trash him and to his face you act and pretend he’st the greatest thing in the world when he’s giving you money! Make up your mind!!!

        • I disagree Maja and Laura. I’m a wife betrayed by a husband who used hookers too ,and while this is a site for wives to vent ,we’re all in this together.Maybe her actions and the effects on herself as well are coming tot he surface by her wiritng them here,and perhaps she will get out of that.

        • Hi! Laura. I do not agree with waht you says here.
          I am a wife and my husband and I are married for already 8 years. He never give me money. He never wants me to work to other company. He wants me to work in his company so I am working with him as my boss for almost 8 years more than 8 or ten hours a day because that’s what he wants and he did not even pay me for two years I work before because he said company has no money. But he said to me before that he will pay me later when company gots up and running again. Until now he did not pay me. Company has money but he withdraw all of them and put on his personal accoujt. I am working inhis company all around (Accounting, Sales, administration and all other task) Among all the employees I receive very, very low salary. I even the one who cleans all the restrooms at work.
          I did not complain bec he said to help him build his company up. I am his servant, his domestic helper that cooks good food for him, and his employee as well that works more than 8 hpurs a day. I even spent my money to fix myself so he will enjoy sex more. Did he contributed to this expense? No of course. He holds his money so tight if it is about me but if it is about his family and friends he does not care how much he spend. I even got sort of STD from his stupidity (make love with “escort and prostitutes”) Did he spent even single penny for me to go to the doctor for this STD issue? No he did not. He knows that I got sick becuse of his stupidty my doctor talked to him. He admitted to my doctor. He cheated me several times and I forgive him each time. Year 2011 he promised me again he will not do those things again but he just did again last Macrh 2012 to April 2012. For long four weeks he was with prosti and not just one group but several different groups of prosti day and night. He embarassed me in fornt of the people many times, he yeeled at me with no reason at
          all. I was in the hospital several times but did he ever call me to ask if I am still alive? No he did not. Did he spent money for my hospital? No he did not. But for his friends, he does not care even he spent big money for them.

          I am still trying to pick up pieces of me to put them back togther that was destroyed because of his stupidity. I am still not sure if I can handle all of the estress, pains, etc I am now. I cried a tears every single day. I feel the pains every single minutes. I still do not know how to cope up.
          Hopeless,
          Oliveoyl

          • I am a good cook and he always says that. Even though I works more than 8 hours a day, I still cook good food for him and he love every dishes I cooked. I even spent money to fix myself to make him happy for our sex life. But still he cheated me so bad. And one time we were in the restaurant and happened that one of his prev escort was there with another man, they did lips to lips kissing on front of me eyes and in front of all the people eating at that resto.

            Last year he told me to trasfer all my money to his account which I do not have access. He even wants my life insurance. He also ask me to make my salary to direct deposit to his account.

            This last March and April he did sleep with deffirent groups of prosti day and night that destroyed all of me being a person. He destroyed my dignity, I feel he does not respect me as a person, as a human and as a wife at all. I feel he does not cherrish all the good things I do for me. I serve him form head to toe. He always says I have the most beautifull body figure, the most beautifull breast, the most good cook in the world which I am but still he cheated on me. It is soooooooooooo painfull! I wish I can just vanish. I wish I can have amnesia so I do not remember anything even my name and even who I am. I wish I can be happy again and not crying every single minute of the day.

          • Hey Olivroy,thanks for commenting on my comment,,and talking about your situation. I feel your pain,however after reading your comments twice I can’t even find the connection for you to disagree on anything. I wrote a comment to Demi about how it’s a double standard if she does that and feels sorry for wives,and your post is talking about something completly different. Did you mean to use someone elses name? So what don’t you agree with? You don’t say,all you do is explain your situation that has nothing to do with me telling Demi how I feel about her career choice of prostitution.Sorry I’m confused,perhpas you should go back and read my post.

          • I’m sorry for you…. but honestly, you were married to one of the worst types of men I know of PURE SELFISH AND SHALLOW!!! GET RID OF HIM…. lots of guys out there who really could cherish one person. All these excuses for men to cheat are stupid. They lack Christianity and THEY ARE THE ONES WITH THE PROBLEMS…..

      • I don’t care how hard a life is….. BEING A SLUT is just what it is! I do commend that you told this “escort” (another great denial word), that actions should match words. DOWN WITH PROSTITUTES!!!!

    • I use to do “escort” in my 20’s. I’m now 46 with two daughters, and divorced.I work as a Interior decorator in Dallas. I remember this same attitude Demi and have to agree they just want their cake and eat it too! It was pathetic. You can try and try to decipher why men cheat or see “whores” but it simply boils down to this and plain old selfishness!

      I’m sorry to say wives and girlfriends. I never gave you a second thought back then. I was too busy trying to escape as I was brought to NYC at 18 and got out at 26. My days consisted of being terroized and beaten in a bathroom with whatever Troy felt like I needed that day.I would also look forward to a trick buying me a lunch after not being fed for a couple days. I even drank toilet water when chained to the toilet for three days,either that or dehydrate,not all hookers are glamous looking to ruin marriages. He threatened my life and family if I tried to leave,plus he had “top girls” who kept an eye on me,but now that I’m not forced into druged and beaten daily I have the mind pattern and capabilty to feel for you.

      My husband cheated too ONCE that I know of but I divorced right away,maybe being a tough hooker back in the day and having gone through that gave me the confidence to leave anyone who treats me like shit,so I was gone. It’s been 3 years now,but life is so much better than those days and a cheating husband. I couldn’t be happier. My daughter Reagan,3 years old has down syndrome but I take care of her mostly by myself! My daughters are angels and I’m grateful for all things good in my life,leave ladies if he continues. Men can be pigs!

    • I did this too. I agree. They do it because they can have their cake and eat it too. I haven’t done that in over fifteen years. I started out stripping. I read some of these posts on here. Ladies leave,unless he’s gun “ho” (no pun intended) on cleaning up his life. I’ve been in a lving relationship fpr over five years. It took allot of healing to get that jadded view of men out of my life/ Demi ,get out as fast as you can. It ruins you as a person

      • It will ruin her as a person only if she is doing it only for the money. The only person who should be an escort is one who truly wants to help men get a lay. Aaaaaaaand…. Apropo, a lot of rich men have the belly because of the fact they sacrificed physical effort for the possibility to be rich. It’s still some kind of hard work that went on in the process. I’ve seen cookie-cutter examples of that. In exchange for being rich, they’d like to have a lady who takes care of herself give them a great time for a night..

        If I would ever use an escort, by the way, I would never give some excuse about why I’m cheating. I’d say what I really wanted to say: I just want some sex, and I ain’t going to have my lifespan cut short from prostate issues. It’s just “live and let live.”

        However, I don’t use an escort, because even if I’m not getting as much sex as I used to, I feel the personal responsibility to look for things above that fray. I have a son that I had with an extremely physically abusive ex-gf, I have a wife who needs a lot of care, understanding and patience, and I have a business that needs to be nurtured. All of these things take priority, at least in my life, before sex. However, I don’t judge any other human being who cheats. There are men with higher drives than mine, and NEED to do it. It’s not about addiction, not about his “evil” penis, or anything like that. It’s about his circumstances. I’ll just worry about mine 🙂

    • Demi Daniels..gotta give you props for you post. I am Day 5. Into the discovery of being cheated on wwith escorts. Please not for the record that it was the most aweful exp but strangley he snuck awa y enough cash for round two. Blindsided…thought we were closer then ever. Open communcation about what he needs etc. Sure watch a porn let’s go get toys. Yeah ill go to a strip club and a dance. I am attractive and like aggressive sex….drummm roool please…for my fault. I am too aggressive and to sexual he feels insecure and wanted to try and be the agggreeser in the bed room. You know what would have been nice husband of 6 years with 2 children….I don’t know maybe fucking tell me before you shatter our family. Awesome. Fuck then

    • Good post. On your point bout having the cake and eating it too, Shull misses the critical point that the shitty husbands expect thier wife to be pure and faithful while they sneak around and would freak if they caught their wives in an affair.

    • Dear, you just made a complicated subject easy. It really is as simple as you say. Have your cake and eat it too. Sex is fun, why deny it?

    • Demi, I’m sorry the world has men like me around. If it wasn’t for us then you wouldn’t be able to earn a living from this kind of work.

      I am sorry for the psychological effects men like me leave you with. You are someone’s daughter and deserve to be treated with respect. You can stop too… Take it one day at a time, take a lower paid job and graft for that promotion. You will feel better for it.

      • So true,thats why I agreed with the womens post in reply to hers…she counts on you for money but resents you! Then stop and get another job if youhave this much bitterness and complaints….really annoying! She actually thought she’s come here and get on the wifes good side but we see it different. If these men are so disgusting then get a reglar job Demi! Youre telling us what weknow and want to hear with our husbands dick inside you isn’t helping

    • Dear “escort”;
      Call it for what it is….. “escort to hell”. Men are warned via the Bible about women like you! You’re as shallow, pathetic, and low as they are! One day you will stand before God and when you talk to him like you just “excused” your way out of your stupid comment you’ll KNOW you are the one that is in the wrong! GET A LIFE!!!!!

  30. I just found out my husband has been seeing escorts, I believe for the last five years or so an I will be married for eight years this month. I don’t know how to handle this, he says he loves me but how can I believe that. He travels for work and I am sure he is seeing escorts then too. I discovered this two days before Christmas but couldn’t confront him till about three weeks ago I am just so hurt and confused. Since confronting him he has changed all of his passwords on he computer to keep me from seeing anything. All I do is cry. I don’t want to be alone but now I feel like just crap worthless and can’t find any reason to keep on living. I don’t know how much longer I can pretend everything is ok, since I have not been able to tell but one person. Due to health reasons with my parents I can’t tell them. Help me what should I do.

    • LEAVE THIS ASSHOLE!!!! He owes you retrust but he changes his passwords? FUCK HIM!!!! If this selfish ass wants to work it out and not get a divorce he neds to let you see and check his emails now….GET PROOF AND TAKE HIS ASS TO THE CLEANERS!!! Get a backbone and leave!!

    • Worthless,you can’t find reasons to keep on living,hurt confused,I’ve bee there,I’ve done that……..it hurt like nothing else.It will take you time to get emotionally out of this story,don’t waste your time…and then one day when you experience yourself the madness of the need of having sex around the age of 40 when you’ll need more sex than you want because of your hormone levels you’ll be hit by the idea how your husband must have felt.Being man is difficult and fantastic,they are ruled by there testosterone nature and at the same time suffer sense of guilt.Think about yourself,live your life,be yourself don’t depend so much emotionally from him,do the things you want,be free!

      • My husband and i were married for a year…we are now getting a divorce..two months into our marriage i found a used condem in our house…i found out 6 months ago that he was going to escourts for massages…so he says…do you think he slept with them or just for a massage?

  31. Where is the hypocrisy? Yes I feel for the wives. My occupation does not disable my capability to empathize. I don’t actively purse married men but that doesn’t change the fact that I can’t understand why any of them would expect me, a total stranger, to value their relationship do anything to preserve it. I have never expected that from anyone apart from my partners.

    I can acknowledge that no one else is to blame for my choice of occupation so why do clients feel the need to justify seeing me by blaming others? It’s utterly maddening. That was my point. I did not come here with intentions to make wives feel better. That is insane lol. I know most will see me as “the enemy” regardless and that’s fine. My post was cathartic for ME 🙂

  32. Oh, and yes I will take their money AND trash them. I am grateful for their money because this is a business. I will not be grateful for their stupid ass comments. Now, if you will, please name one person in any profession that is above venting about annoying customers. I’ll wait.

  33. I have to say that am a wife and I know that most guys I’ve been with have cheated on me. In order to see this men’s work I went to a brothel, for a job interview lol, and while I was there about 2 hrs I saw the hookers, in their fantasy clothing and in normal clothing going in and out of the place. I saw guys, good looking young guys coming in I just couldn’t understand why a good looking guy would pay top dollar for 1 hr?… Any way, most hookers are very young, early 20’s, they r ugly as nothing like the porn movies, they have worse bodies than an average wife. And are uneducated. Every time a customer came in they were giggling and smiling very much like children, and after the presentation the losers came back as losers! Upset and with bitterness in their face. To them is abt money not the guy. To them is selling a transaction. Any ways I think guys who r married and idiot these places are looses and worthless assholes. I think it’s the variety, I felt pity for these women, I condone this and hate the men that make this the biggest industry ever!!! Our men today are fucked!!!!

  34. I am a man in his late 20’s and have been with my girlfriend for over 8 years, I’ve always been faithful to her and she has to me, we both took each other’s virginity and we have “matured” together for the past 8 years.

    I love and care for her but there’s something inside me that makes me unable to be happy with just her, I feel I missed out on life for all these years. We as a couple have reached a point where I have to make a decision either I continue my life with her and we get married and have a family, knowing that I will always be feeling like I missed out or break up with her and break her heart.

    I am also considering just getting it over with and visiting an escort and not telling a single soul, I am away on a business trip and I am seriously thinking about it.

    I know that if I leave her I will never get her back, and probably will never have someone who loves me like she does, with whom I’ve shared so many experiences.

    I am torn and do not know what to do, I do not want to cheat but I can’t get these feelings that I’ve missed out on life out of my head and it’s tearing me apart, leaving her is something I do not know how to handle, we have been together for so long, and she is dependant on me so if I leave her I will take away everything and it will destroy everything we have built for the past 8 years.

    I care for her and do not want to break her heart, I know she does not deserve this and my only wish is for her to be happy, with or without me, but my selfishness is making me miserable, I just don’t know how to handle this any more.

    I really don’t want to cheat, I know I will regret it, but I feel so weak….

  35. Not all men pay for sex for just the sex, I know from my experience because I have attachment issues, (feel free to research it), being with someone new makes you feel attractive and wanted (even if you are paying someone), but its more than that hence you should research before you reply. Does it make it right? No. I have at least once and I’m sure there are others who pay women simply for the company. Am I fat and ugly? No, I’m athletic with normal weight and height with reasonable looks. I’m just not very self confident, that’s why I have sex with Pro’s. My wife is perfect in every way but unfortunately it’s not her fault, just my problem between my and my psychiatrist.

  36. Twenty two years of marriage and gone through crisis with a kid of his, his mother, my Dad and Mom and now I find condoms in his truck but he doesn’t know how they got there!!

    Well…ever hear of GPS and a IBOT for the computer? Yep….leopard doesn’t change their spots and the shit is about to hit the fan here!

  37. Ok, so I cheated on my husband after no sex or companionship for 8 years. We were basically roommates and it worked (we have no children). I carried on my affair, and it’s still going after three years. Wait – here’s the twist. In the last year, my husband developed a sore throat that lasted months, had achy joints, his hair fell out, and then he quickly started going blind. Why? He caught syphilis. Not from me (I was tested in 2010 and weeks ago after his diagnosis, which he lied about while sitting in a hospital bed for 8 days and then IV bags at home for another 6). I started questioning his illness when I noticed he was being treated with penicillin. He claimed ocular herpes. Thing is, herpes isn’t treated with penicillin. I begged him to tell me what I was living with. He finally said he had a one night fling with a coworker named Lisa after a poker game. It was only once. He knew about my fling before finally admitting his. Thing is, I don’t believe his story. When I asked for the girl’s name, he refused to give me her last name because he didn’t need me hunting her down to harass her because she’s married. So, if this story is true, he’s protecting a one-night fling that gave him the syph, but not his wife of 11 years? I packed his stuff and left it on the curb a month ago. We are still in contact, divorcing as amicably as possible. He still SWEARS that he didn’t cheat!!!! Immaculate infection? I’m thinking it was cheesey whores. Is it that men feel that because they are not emotionally giving themselves to these women, they are technically not cheating?

    As far as my affair, he was single and wanted more, but wanted me to get divorced, so he moved to the west coast (I’m an east coaster) for 10 months. I visited him and that’s when we realized we needed to be together.

    Ladies, don’t waste your time trashing the husbands. It’s so not worth it. There’s always something better out there.

  38. I know this is an old thread, so I may be writing to myself, but the act of writing is more cathartic than anything.

    I was in an 11 year relationship with a man who went to prostitutes. He also was very emotionally abusive, which turned into mild physical abuse (if there is such a thing.) At about year 3 the emotional abuse was so bad I became acutely depressed. It was weird, I didn’t notice it until I was already in it. We were also living in a third world country. I was trying to run two tourist based businesses, help him with a development project and home school my two adolescents when they were with me. I was exhausted and trapped, so I really was in huge denial. I was the perfect target.

    Our relationship started out magical. I had never been in love like that before. The sex was fabulous, too. We both had high sex drives, so sex was frequent (several times a day) and experimental. I felt it was something intensely personal and special between us. (Wrong…)

    He started traveling. He would go to nearby countries for supplies and stay 3 or 4 days. I became suspicious, but was so down trodden and flat out busy, I did nothing. I even called his cell phone one time and he accidentally answered instead of turn it off and I could hear him say “oh great, NOW you’re going to act like you’re bored.” I then heard silence and it was clear what was going on. He lied his way out of it AND I BOUGHT IT. I remember telling myself at the time that I was unable to deal with this, so I would just believe him. I knew better.

    I finally reached a point in my depression that my family intervened and I got help. I was putting my life back together and was going to leave him after my kids left to go back to the US. 2 days later we were arrested. Our arrests stemmed from a business deal that he was in with a friend that became estranged. This person is very wealthy and a despicable human being, so he got mad and threw us in jail (we were later exonerated, so keep reading). I was released in a a few days, but “my man” ended up staying in max security penitentiary for 6 months. I couldn’t leave anyone in that situation, so I worked to get him released, losing all my financial assets along the way. I got him released to house arrest, but he was in terrible shape at this point. He had been beat, humiliated, drugged, and suffered both PTSD and Traumatic Brain Injury. He had broken bones, infections, infestations and was malnourished. I slowly nursed him back to health and continued to fight to keep him from going back to prison, and clear our names so we could go home. We continued to have great sex all this time, though I knew I would never be the depressed, abused woman that I had been; that he wanted me to be.

    At one point I had to leave (I was being threatened with a return to jail). I went home and finally saw my kids, after 10 months. I stayed away for 2 months, then had to go back and finish clearing our names and getting “my man” home. That took 3 months, but I finally negotiated a deal that dropped all charges and we were free to leave.

    We came back to the states and set about trying to live, with no money, no jobs, no cars, and him unable to keep a job because of the PTSD. I filed suit in the US against the person that erroneously jailed us. I had no money, so filed pro se. I was working on the case (I’m a chef, not a lawyer), dealing with him, translating legal documents from the case in Nicaragua, working full time, etc. etc.

    Fast forward a couple of years. We had lawyers on the case, were living in a nice enough place and he started sleeping in the other room and became increasingly abusive. There were early morning and late night phone calls. I couldn’t leave because I had a lot at stake in the pending court case. He was such a mess he could have never navigated the legal waters (or really done anything else) without me. We moved to a new state trying to just start over. During a casual conversation with a friend he said something that didn’t add up to me, and when I asked him about it later, he confessed to having been to hookers during our entire relationship, even after I got him out of prison, while I was in the states and he was still South. He also confessed to an affair in which a woman paid him (supposedly.) This was still going on, over the phone.

    I was stuck. I asked him to leave for a time, and go back to the state where his “affair” was and work. We needed money and I really didn’t care if was still seeing her. We also had the court case there, so our lawyers kept an eye on him and he stayed with one of my friends. Court came and went and we won. I returned to the state I was living in and he stayed and worked another month or so. When he came home, we tried to continue (there was still appeals pending, and I had worked too hard to let everything go at that point.)

    Things eventually worked out, and I was able to leave. I was also able to deal with all of this. My ex is now devastated and calls me every day crying about how awful he is. I tell him to forgive himself, it’s over now. We still see each other, and even have sex (though I have issues about hearing him and picturing him). I will never go back to him, but we have been through so much together I can’t imagine him ever being completely out of my life.

    My problem is this: He has said “I never thought this would happen.” When I ask what he did think would happen he just says “not this.” I ask if he thought there would be to consequences to his actions; “No, I knew if you found out you’d leave.” Then he clearly didn’t care if I left or not, right? He denies that. I just want to know what other men think about this. Do you really not care, or do you think you won’t get caught? Do you just not think about it at all? What do you think is going to happen?

    Thanks for listening…..

  39. I am into my 3rd day after finding out my husband has been cheating with whores, we have been together 7 years just married for 4 of them. I took on him and his 2 kids a year after his first wife dies, I’ve taken crap from his family and hers for the way I do Inge not bringing the way she would have, but I’ve taken it every time as understand they are grieving. Then 3 days ago I find out this man, who claims to love me and only me has been paying for sex. I feel sick to the core thinking of what he has done and what diseases he may have given me. I am at a total loss, my gut instinct is to leave him, but I’ve raised his daughter since she was 2 years old and she is like my own, how can I leave her to his care. How do you ever recover from this?

  40. I am a husband who cheated on his family with prostitutes.

    Men have a choice and there is no excuse for this behaviour. I must accept my responsibilities and recognise that the home I’ve just broken is entirely my fault and that no matter how sorry I am, I have broken my wife’s heart, smashed our dreams, potentially damaged my children’s mental health. And sorry doesn’t fix a broken home.

    I find out the results of my STI blood test next week. Although I deserve everything that’s coming to me. I pray I have not contracted any infections for my family’s sake.

    My advice to any married men who have not yet told their wives is that you can stop, you have a choice. You can get help, you can remove temptation by simply choosing not to look at adult sites (as that’s how it normally starts)… Make a commitment to stop today, take each day at a time and get yourself checked out for STI’s. If you have contracted anything you have to tell your wife and accept that she will probably leave you. But if you don’t then you are a coward who will one day get found out (trust me, you will).

  41. I am 58 years old as is my dirt bag husband . We have been married for 31 years. By the click of a mouse my whole life unraveled. My daughter checked our email and found a conversation from his blackberry where he made an appointment to meet a hooker a few months prior while I was in Arizona. He begged me to go to AZ so I could get away from the cold.He was going to be a brave boy and stay behind and tough out the winter. Turns out he started out just looking at pics on the web.He the progressed to jerking off in his van while some whore got him off on the phone. Then he started going to our citys whore house or massage parlour as they like to call it.My daughter and I smashed 3 phones including his blackberry.I told all his friends my friends and his family.He has had to sleep in his van a couple of very cold nites so he very sorry and wants anew start. I wasn’t happy with our non existent sex life but felt sorry for him. It takes him half anhour to pee and he could rarely get it up.So being the understanding wife that I am I didn’t want to embarass the poor dear. I have been given a pap test for stds and will probably need hiv tests the rest of my life.My daughter hates his guts is changing her last name and calls him by the alias he used not dad. I hope his $80 blow job was worth it. Oh yeah hubby also hates women with short hair with red hair or black women or Indian women or fat women. Guess what? He had every color and every type of woman on his blackberry.He sure wasn’t fussy. Haven”t decided whether i want to know whats on his sin card which i removed before i smashed his blackberry. Might come in handy in divorce court.

  42. There is no doubt in my mind that this lady caster is truely gifted. She is very seriously powerful and wonderful. I am thankful that i never calling her. My situation was as bad as dead that i was tired of existence.
    My wife left me, At that same heartbreak i lost my dad, everything on earth seems finished for me, i almost committed suicide until i search online to find out about a spell priestess Ifaa, I saw many psychics and more but none wanted to help me but rhis spell lady told me that she’s going to bring me a new world, I placed all my hope in her, and as she did her spell work, 7days later, my lover came back to me, i was also offered a job in a company i applied for a job, luck was coming from different corners. Today, i owe a house, have a good job, living well, and most of all, am getting married soon to my true love. I have never believed this till now, unlike other psychics who wants to money money money. priestess Ifaa told me i would have my life back even more better, I was a little skeptical because many promised and never fulfilled, but to my surprise my fiancee showed up at my door out of the blue 7 days later!! priestess ifaa is the best. I beg you to contact her and never make any mistkae in going else were. the email is [email protected], God Bless and thank you for all that you have done for me!

  43. I can express the reason I cheated and I felt very justified. I provided my wife with an amazing home, I was a good father, I treated her like a treasure, bought her hundreds of thousands of dollars of present each year, took her traveling, took her on a date every weekend. I was always good natured and nice to her, and she was a totally demeaning and demanding bitch who constantly said cruel things, tried to boss me around all the time, and was always acusing me of the most bizarre things. So I had two choices. Choice A I act like a total asshold back to her and maybe leave the marriage or B I fuck around on her from time to time and I still treat her nice even though she is a total bitch. I chose B and it allowed me to continue to treat her well which allowed the relationship to go on longer than it would have if I lashed out. Most modern women treat their men like TRASH, they abuse them and act as if it is a major honor to be with them. At a moment’s notice they will just leave and find a new boyfriend or husband and feel totally justified. Well, guess what ladies, men are smarter than you think, and they reward this attitude by fucking other chicks. I am certain that most men would remain loyal if they were actually treated like human beings by their wives.

  44. Thank you to the escorts who post their opinions on ” why” our men cheat on us with them. I just made my decision to leave my husband of 12 yrs for cheating on me for a year with prostitutes. I was accepting his reasons why, and after 17 days of reading books on the topic, seeing a psychologist and a therapist and planning couples therapy…….well….the
    Pig looked me in the eyes and denied doing a hooker on a conference a month ago. The proof was in text on his iPhone. He did not even try to cover his tracks and delete.

    We are both professional with high incomes. We are slim, well kept and dress classy. We look years younger than our ages. We have never had fights til now.

    Stupid idiot…….had a clean slate…..a chance to save a marriage we both called ” the best time of our life”. Spectacular vacations, best buddies at outdoor hobbies, renovating our home together, lots of laughs and all the sex,love intimacy whenever we wanted it and we even played out each others fantasies together. We have excellent finances, thousands a month extra for trips etc., fantastic pensions to look forward to, plenty of investment savings, no debts whatsoever, a home paid off and updated very modern looking and should sell fast.

    Here is my question…….why????? He says he does not know why.

    • because they want their cake and eat it too! Most men will cheat because they can seperate love and sex,they think with their love muscle (their brain) and don’t thunk of consequences! Men will ALWAYS be like this,they’re tempted constantly,if they never cheated they think about it. This is not a promising story for a happy marriage.. We will NEVER undersatnd these species called men! You sound classy and sharp,keep moving forward with your life and heal. Happy New Year.

  45. My husband cheated on me with prostitutes, I am 23 yrs old he is 41. I am very beautiful and sexy, I was cook ,clean, and role play with my husband. He sleeps with prostitutes because he like whores plain and simple. No prostitute can be tighter than I am. filthy nasty sluts that sleep with anything that have money.When we have sex he ask me to pretend like i’m a whore n he wants me to have a big filthy V J like them girls. he fantasies abt me with a lot of me. I’m leaving him because i can get any man i want. he should be lucky he had me. All you prostitutes gonna die a horrible death you disease ridden disgusting creatures.

  46. HELLO to my friends out there i am testifying about the good work of a man who help me it has been hell from the day my husband left me i am a woman with two kids my problem stated when the father of my kids travel i never help he was living but as at two weeks i did not set my eye on my husband i try calling but he was not taken my call some week he call me telling me that he has found love some where easy at first i never take to be serous but day after he came to the house to pick his things that was the time i notice that things is going bad i help he will come back but things was going bad day by day i needed to talk to someone about it so i went to his friend but there was no help so i give it up on him month later i met on the the internet a spell caster i never believe on this but i needed my men back so i gave the spell caster my problem at first i never trusted him so i was just doing it for doing sake but after three day my husband called me telling me that he his coming home i still do not believe but as at the six day the father to my kids came to the house asking me to for give him the spell work to said to my self from that day i was happy with my family thanks to the esango priest of (abamieghe)esango priest he his a great man you need to try him you can as well to tell him your problem so that he can be of help to you his content email is this [email protected] indeed you are a priest thank you for making my home a happy home again. remember his email is [email protected].com

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