Joe Francis is a Douchebag

This past few years has be a time of invasion in this country.   An invasion of douchebags.   Sure, we have always had a fair share, but nothing like lately.   Just go to any club and check out the number of men sporting spray on tans, mouse and gold chains.   And of course they all wear perfume (Axe is perfume, deal with it).   There is no doubt that we have an infestation of these guys.  And the king of all douchebags is Joe Francis.

Make that Joe “Girls Gone Wild” Francis.   I don’t dislike Joe Francis because of what he does for a living.   If women think exposing their breast to be captured on film for video distribution is a good idea, as long as they get a t-shirt, then good for them.   These women make Joe Francis a very wealthy guy.  

Truth be told, I would likely get along well with Joe.   We are the same age, spent our teen years in the same place, and we were both bounced around numerous schools because of our ‘disciplinary problems’.   I have probably met Joe Francis as a teenager.  

The reason I don’t like Joe Francis is that he has become a giant douchebag.   Every time I see the guy he has this stupid grin on his face and acts like he owns the world.   But in fact, the guy gets himself in so much shit that he has to beg like a little bitch to get out of it.  

Joe Francis vs. Becky Lynn Gritzke

Let’s take a look at the past few years for Joe Francis.   In 2002, Becky Lynn Gritzke sued Francis for secretly taping her at Mardi Gras, not getting any sort of consent form, and then plastering he likeness on billboards.   Now we can all agree that clearly Ms. Gritzke had no problem exposing her breast, but her expectation of privacy was that no one was going to film and market the event.   And certainly not that it would be displayed on billboards.    Becky  Lynn Gritzke sued Francis’ Mantra Films and settled for an undisclosed amount, and got an order preventing the company from continuing to use her likeness.  

Joe Francis and Girls Gone Wild Credit Card Fraud

I’m not sure who buys a Girls Gone Wild DVD.   I would imagine mostly people who work with their brother-in-law installing, or paving something.   They use their secured credit card to order up some DVD of drunk girls lifting their shirts.   I’m not sure why this interest people.   If you want porn, just get porn.   If you want to just see girls lifting their shirts, go to Mardi Gras, or even Lake Havasu on spring break.  

But it appears that many people who get Girls Gone Wild DVD’s didn’t want Girls Gone Wild DVD’s.   As a matter of fact, many of them seem pretty unhappy they got this crap and were charged.  

“they have sent or mailed me CD-video’s twice without me ordering any. there’s no way to contact them , no tel. no and no response to address provided. they were able to charge our credit card,(I do not know how they get details of my card. I returned the items thru their address. This must be stopped. this is robbery.” says Reynaldo from Monroe, NJ.  

Hell, it looks like poor Renaldo doesn’t even know what a DVD is, he calls them CD-videos!   So I doubt he ordered the damn things.   So it looks like a good amount of the sales are not so much sales, as fraud.

Joe Francis Busted for Child Pornography in Panama City Florida

In 2003, Joe Francis was arrested in Panama City, Florida during Spring Break.   He was charged with 71 criminal counts; including child pornography and drug trafficking.   Now I can understand that police are not always honest, and sometimes they like to bust innocent people.   But even after years of high-priced legal maneuvers, Joe Francis was convicted of child abuse and prostitution, as well as a charge revolving hiding illegal shit in his cell phone.   He was let lose with time served and a $60k fine.   So Joe Francis makes millions of dollars off of this stuff, and gets the equivalent of a slap on the wrist.   He served less than a year behind bars, and then back to his private jet.  

While in prison, Joe Francis tried to bribe prison guards for things like bottled water, and was caught with drugs in his possession.   So what does the sissy do?   He gets a note from his shrink saying that he demonstrates “significant psychiatric issues”, and that he might commit suicide if incarcerated.   Am I alone in thinking, “who cares?”.   So, if a prisoner gets a note from a doctor saying prison makes the prisoner want to commit suicide, we just just let him go?   Once again, Joe Francis whining like a little bitch.

Oh, by the way, last March, four more women filed suit against Joe Francis saying he filmed them while underage.   One claims she was 13.  

Joe Francis and his Tax Evasion Issues

Joe Francis has his own private jet so that he can fly around the world looking for hot young girls who have had too much to drink.   But do you think Joe Francis pays his taxes?   Well in April of 2007, Francis was indicted on 2 counts of tax evasion.

A federal grand jury in Reno, NV. charged Joe Francis with filing fraudulent corporate tax returns and claiming over $20 million in false business deductions, and that’s just for 2002 and 2003.  

Joe’s attorney Jan Handzlik said, “The government has chosen to make a criminal case out of what we believe to be, at most, a civil tax dispute.”.   I don’t know what you think, but to me this says, “yeah, he did it.   But do we need to make a federal case out of it?”.  

Joe Francis vs. Steve Wynn Resorts

Of course Joe Francis likes to party, and that includes being a big shot high roller in Las Vegas.   And where else would you want to be a big shot, high roller than the Wynn.   But it seems that Joe Francis welches on his gambling debts, much the same as he does on his taxes.  

In Febuarary 2007, Wynn Las Vegas filed a suit against Joe Francis for $2 million in unpaid gambling debt.   Since the Wynn makes a very good living off high rollers, imagine what you have to do for them to file a lawsuit against you.  

Joe Francis Wants a Government Bailout

So things may not be going well with Girls Gone Wild.   We know that Joe owes millions in gambling debts, potentially tens of millions to the IRS, and is being sued by a lot of different people.   So what’s a good, honest Joe to do?   Well go to the government and ask for a bailout of course!   That’s right, Joe Francis feels the government owes him some of that bail out love that the big three auto makers got.  

“Congress seems willing to help shore up our nation’s most important businesses; we feel we deserve the same consideration.”, says Joe Francis.   He even says that he’s personally going to Washington D.C. to make the pitch.   Yet again, Joe Francis whining like a little bitch.

I’m not by any means an investigative journalist.   But I promise you this…I’m going to follow up and find out if any politician met with Joe Francis.   Because any politician who even entertains the idea of giving this douchebag our money for his semi-porn deserves to be outed.  

Conclusion

Joe Francis is the exact type of person we should try to get rid of.   How I can applaud his entrepreneurial spirit, he just became so sleazy.   The whole under-age girl thing, the way Girls Gone Wild charges people, the general attitude he has every time I see him.   It’s all just overwhelming.   To think that this ass-clown cheats on his taxes, and then wants the government to bail him out is amazing.   And bail him out from what?   The last I heard, he still has a private jet, and enjoys partying.   So the people should all chip in and make sure he can still party, while others lose their homes?   Like I said, Joe Francis is a douchebag.