Charles Ray Fuller – (nearly) the richest man in the world

As a criminal you have to chose if you want to spend an entire life in crime, or just go for that one big score.   If you plan out and execute a big enough crime, you could just flee the country and live out your days like a bad Pierce Brosnan movie on some tropical island with a hottie.   All the time your name being used back in the hood as some sort of modern day D. B. Cooper.  

Well that was the plan of Charles Ray Fuller.   A man whose name will go down as a dreamer.   Crazy?   Maybe.   Stupid?   No doubt.   But no one can take away the man’s dream.

Mr. Fuller is a man who appreciates the simple plans.   He knows that the more complicated the plan, the more things can go wrong.   So his plan, much like himself, was simple.

On Wed., April 30th, Charles Ray Fuller walked into a local Chase Bank in Fort Worth, TX.   He handed a check to the teller, made out to him from his girlfriends mother, for $360 billion dollars.   In case you don’t know what that looks like, $360,000,000,000.00.

I know what you’re thinking.   It’s unlikely that his girlfriends mother, who must be very proud of her daughters choices in men, would have $360 billion dollars in her account.   But you forget that many of use have overdraft protection.   My bank for example lets me go over-limit all the time.

But in a case of clear racial profiling, the teller called the account owner to verify.   Crazy.   A black man can’t have a check for $360 billion dollars in this country without being a “criminal”?

The unjust event lead to the arrest of Mr. Fuller.   He was also charged with possessing a weapon (must be his foil-like intelligence) and marijuana (which obviously should be charged as an accomplice in this crime).

It could not be confirmed if Charles Ray Fuller and his girlfriend are still together.   But I’m sure if they are not she will move on and find another dreamer.   Women are attracted to a man with a plan.

And to all the people in the Fort Worth prison system, before you judge a man by his failures, keep this in mind; failure is the path to success.   And if you don’t swing for the fences, you’ll never hit that home run.

And to Charles Ray Fuller, I have this to say.   Keep dreaming man, without dreams we are only left with nightmares.   I anxiously await your next Lex Luther moment.


  1. Good slant…But in a case of clear racial profiling…the teller called the account owner to verify…The unjust event lead…

    Most bank tellers who care about their jobs probably would verify such a MASSIVE amount. My bank rang me once when I sent my husband there to withdraw $2,500 dollars, and it makes me feel safer to know that they do that. Maybe Charles just reeked loser and didn’t have the appearance or demeanour of someone who could possibly have access to that sort of money, regardless of colour.

  2. Karen … I think that the author was being sarcastic about the racial profiling. 😉
    Yeah, it’s good to know that (most) tellers would question a check for 360 BILLION dollars before trying to cash it from your account. LOL!

  3. I just think this is one of the most amazing stories I have ever heard. I wouldn’t spend much time toiling over the details. All one needs to know is that there is only about $666,000,000,000 US dollars in print in the entire world, he was asking for over half of it. I wonder if he considered how to physically carry it out of there, seeing how it would probably fill a few box trucks.

  4. Unbelievable! But you could have left the racial profiling remark out. You didn’t need it for this to be a good article. Anyway, as an ex bank teller, we were allowed to report any suspicious activity if the total was over $3,ooo.

  5. Alright folks… keyword here is “sarcasm”. I think the racial profile mark was hilarious, it’s OBVIOUS that $360 Billion was the redflag. DUH!!

  6. Hey would you mind stating which blog platform you’re working with? I’m planning to start my own blog in the near future but I’m having a tough time making a decision between BlogEngine/Wordpress/B2evolution and Drupal. The reason I ask is because your layout seems different then most blogs and I’m looking for something completely unique. P.S My apologies for getting off-topic but I had to ask!

  7. proof before publishing…”But you forget that many of use have overdraft protection.” Indeed, the bigger crime today is the amount of typos floating in cyberspace. Are we falling behind in writing skills too?

  8. Bitch fuck u u dnt kno my boi Charles he aint do dat his girlfriend mama is racist they dont like blacks Paula n Clark Greer of fort worth tx.they dont like us

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