Gu Gu Bites Zhang Jiao

One of my basic rules in life is that I am not tougher than anyone, or anything that lives naked in the woods.   That would include a panda bear.

I can agree that panda bears are very cute.   As soon as we start selling genetically engineered animals that are always friendly, I’ll buy one.   Right after I buy my Ewok and Mogwai, of course.   But as of right now, it would not occur to me to give a panda bear a hug, or try to get face-to-face, or even climb in a cage with one, but that’s what people in the Beijing Zoo keep doing.

The latest person to manually feed Gu Gu the biting panda is Zhang Jiao, or as the Chinese know him, Gu Gu food.   According to Zhang, he and his son were playing a game of catch with a toy panda bear, when his son over threw into Gu Gu’s pen.

This would have been an opportune time for Zhang to teach his son a lesson about throwing toys into cages with wild animals.   But instead Zhang decided to jump the 5 foot fence to retrieve the toy.   I’m guessing this thing cost about $4, especially since it was clearly made in China, but I guess Zhang thought it was worth the effort.

Well it seems the wall on the other side was a little more steep than Zhang anticipated at 9 – 10 feet.   And since Zhang doesn’t have any bionic parts, he was not able to leap back over.   After all, it is made to keep something in.

During his attempt, Gu Gu took notice to the newbie behind bars and proceeded to do   what the old prisoners do to the new prisoners.   Zhang was surprised by the act of aggression by the lovable panda bear, “I always thought they were cute and just ate bamboo,” Zhang said.

Gu Gu treated Zhang’s legs like bamboo and chewed them up pretty good.   According to Zhang’s doctors it will be tough to fix the damage Gu Gu caused.

Good luck Zhang, I hope all gets better for you.   And if you guys at the Beijing Zoo want to take your wrestling panda on the road, bring him on to the states.   Depending on the prize money, I might have a go.   Sadly enough, I outweigh Gu Gu, and I’m broke.


  1. Well, at least Zhang has a funny story to tell at parties. I wonder if his son ever got his stuffed panda toy back? I would hate to think that Zhang did all that for nothing.

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